T-Cake's 2006 Log

[T-Cake]

It's always good to change things up - keeps you from being bored also....Helps to change the poundage, order of moves & just the type of moves all around....

What's good is that site divides the body up in parts, so it's easy to pick & choose.....

Awesome. Can't wait to play around with this! I actually think Ulter has that site bookmarked and was looking something up himself last week, so I'm glad I finally have it for myself!!!

You know, I'm actually feeling a lot more empowered lately in terms of being able to write my own lift routine, etc. Pretty great feeling!

 

[*Bunny*]

This one too?

http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html

 

[sbt2082]

HI duckie! Thanks for droppin' in!! I need to read your log still... *sigh* So much to do...

Ahhh don't worry bout it hun, its nothing spectacular ANd I know the feeling... I had LOTS of logs to catch up on myself just a couple of months ago

 

[T-Cake]

This one too?

http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html

Woohoo! Thanks ya'. I will put all of that to good use.

 

[Jamie Lynn]

Good morning sweetness!

I am awaiting the results of this weigh-in. It can only be good news.

 

[sbt2082]

Morning hun!!! HOpe you have a great weekend!!!

 

[T-Cake]

WI this morning was up 1.2 lbs from last week. *sigh* I'm not upset about it or anything because my upper body was still REALLY sore and I ALWAYS show a gain when I'm sore -- ALWAYS ALWAYS. No worries. I usually have a big loss the next week when I have a gain of any sort. 160 is still possible -- but for now, 165 will have to do.

So... big news... I TOLD MY MOM I'M MOVING TO FL.

The following is BAD. No other way around it. Here's what happened:
I decided to call her and tell her instead of send her an email mid-week. I was at lunch with my dad and stepmom and brother, and so I had support there with me. We all agreed that mom needed at least a week's notice... bt I knew that I needed people with me. I knew it was going to be UGLY.

*I managed to get out 4 sentences on the phone 1) I took my dream job in FL, 2) I'm stoked about my new work and it's an awesome place 3) It's in Orlando and 4) My moving van is coming next weekend.

* I spaced it out carefully and politely and was really sweet about it and excited... then she started screaming at me. SCREAMING. She said:

1) She is disgusted by my decision and doesn't like my relationship at all and thinks I'm incapable or making these big decisions all on my own; she thinks I'm being controlled, when really SHE has been controlling me my whole life -- and for once I'm finally putting an END to it. (that's a longgggg story -- mom is a bitter woman who never remarried after my dad left her, like 22 years ago -- he is happily remarried, so she hates men in general and has NEVER liked ANYONE I've ever dated)
2) She "FORBIDS" me from doing this "as your mother" (mind you, I'm 26 and have lived on my own for... years now)
3) She screamed at me that I WILL call the movers and cancel because she will NOT allow me to move.
4) "If you do this, I will never speak to you ever again"
5) "I don't want to know you as my daughter anymore. This is it. We're done. Over. Never ever again. I will never ever see you again for the rest of your life. I mean it."
6) More screaming and insults.

I was at lunch outside with my dad and brother and stepmom when I called her -- I needed the support because of the abuse. I was sobbing into my napkin and shaking so badly in hysterics, that my brother got upset and had to leave (he has been affected by her too and it hurt him too much to see this).

So... that's it. She screamed at me for 7 minutes w/o a breath, and I finally said "I have to go" a few times and hung up. I told her I wanted to see her before I leave but she said I'm not going... soooo... I guess I'm not going to see her.

Anyway, my friends and family are all really happy for me otherwise, and my dad is throwing me a going away bbq at his house next Friday night when my bf flies into town to make the drive with me. I'm sad that I feel like my mom hates me. My dad and others say she's acting like a 3 y/o who says, "I hate you mommy!" I hope they're right.

I don't think I'll be talking to my mom for awhile, but she's gotten my dad fired from work and scraped his car years ago (we're talking over 20 years ago when he divorced her) so God only knows what she'll do to sabotage me and my new job if she knew where I work or where I'm living.

I'm scared. I parked someplace weird at my apt complex now and I'm hiding out in my apt in case she drives by or comes looking for me to scream at me. She is nuts... and I'm seriously scared she would hurt me or damage my car because she is that angry. But at least I'm not eating; I'm packing instead.

Otherwise, I had a great workout today... cardio and lower lift and all. I'm sorry to vent here -- but I'm really scared right now hiding in my little hole in the ground... and I just don't want to be here anymore.

Seriously -- what mother would say or do that to her child??? "I don't want to know you as my daughter anymore"?!?! I mean -- WHAT?!?! Oh yeah, and the last thing she was telling me is, "Are you trying to KILL me? You're killing me, you know." So great... if she hurts herself, she'll leave ME the note. Why me? I just want to be my happy self and live my life like an adventure. I didn't think that was such a bad or illogical thing to want.

 

[Miss24k]

T I'm sorry I know she's your mother and you love her, but she is a f*cking bitch that doesn't deserve to be in your life. If she can't be happy for you then really f*ck her.

I do not have a good relationship with my mother (never have), actually I no longer talk to her, because I made a decision to cut her out of my life, she doesn't deserve to be in my life. Still sometimes it hurts to think I have no family, but really I'm so much better off without them. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you sweetheart.

There's nothing wrong with you doing what you are doing, she is upset that she can no longer control you, you finally have control of yourself and your life.

Wishing you plenty of happier days

 

[T-Cake]

T I'm sorry I know she's your mother and you love her, but she is a f*cking bitch that doesn't deserve to be in your life. If she can't be happy for you then really f*ck her.

I do not have a good relationship with my mother (never have), actually I no longer talk to her, because I made a decision to cut her out of my life, she doesn't deserve to be in my life. Still sometimes it hurts to think I have no family, but really I'm so much better off without them. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you sweetheart.

There's nothing wrong with you doing what you are doing, she is upset that she can no longer control you, you finally have control of yourself and your life.

Wishing you plenty of happier days

Thank you for your kind words, hun. It's really hard on me to think of my life without my mom -- but as of late, she causes me more grief and pain than good memories. Even just meeting her for dinner always turns into a discussion of how negative I am... or how I complain too much... or how I can't do this or that.

I hate being told I can't do something. Just drives me crazy -- and she's the queen of shooting me down.

I just found out my brother actually went to her house while I was on the phone with her because he heard her screaming at me and he went to her to say, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT HER LIKE THAT? Are you just trying to hurt her feelings?" and I guess my mom admitted to him that yes, she was.

And no, she still doesn't support my move or my relationships or interests -- she is happy playing the martyr in life and perservering through a life of shit and misfortune -- but me, on the other hand, I'm on the up and up. I've slimmed down, I feel awesome, I'm super happy, I'm more secure than ever... and I finally have the courage and confidence to live my life for ME!!!

Also forgot to mention to you all that after I hung up, my daddy came around the table and hugged me and told me how proud he was of me because he knew that was the hardest thing I'd done in my whole life. That felt good.

Thanks for reading all my crap... I appreciate the support, even when it's not training related.

 

[*Bunny*]

I appreciate the support, even when it's not training related.

and now you know why this is simply MORE than a training board .. or as I was once told "nothing but an AAS board ..."

I am sorry to hear about your mother, and fully understand where Missy is coming from ...

If you feel that you are doing the right thing, NO DOUBT, no second thoughts, you just KNOW you MUST ... then you are ... what comes of your decision was meant to happen based on a decision you KNOW was right , good, bad, ugly, it will all work out the way it needs to ... ...

only advice I can give