Started dating an Older Woman... need opinions from both sexes!

[velvett]

Velvett...

That seemed a bit harsh on your part. He already stated that she was at the point in her life right now where she wanted kids soon! He is nowhere near wanting kids! He may be being a bit selfish, but he is at that point in his life where he needs to be...and so is the woman he is seeing.

I may have missed that, if he stated that somewhere I didn't didn't see it. I only saw the part where she left the ex because he didn't want to have kids. Does that automatically mean she's ready to have kids with a guy she hooks up with after a short period of time?

By the way men have been known to tell women when they don't have the nerve to tell them that *it's over* - easy way out and he remains the good guy.

For anyone to assume that when a woman is in her mid thirties that's she desparate to get married and make babies that's simply ignorant and unfair.

That said, if you have a goal in your life and you meet someone that will not fit into that goal and you are not willing to alter it - why start something that you can't finish?

I may be harsh to point that out but I'll be damned if the concept is incorrect.

 

[Newbie2building]

talk to omega. he knows aaaaaaaaalllll about this.

 

[FreakMonster]

Bro,
I was in the same EXACT situation that you are in except that I am 26 and my GF is 39. When we first started dating the age thing bothered us both and we were pondering for weeks whether we could have a future together or not. We both don't want children so that was a plus for us. But if you are intent in having a family then this is definitely not the relationship for you EVEN though you were extremely compatible.
Well me and my GF decided just to take the relationship day to day and just let things happen. Well 7 months later and we are still dating and we are in love. Things couldn't be better and she is everything I am looking for in a companion.
I still can't believe we are so compatible despite our age difference. And if you are worried about how she will look when she is 45 or 50 as long as she works out and takes care of herself she will always look younger. And there's also Botex, Plastic surgery, etc, etc. etc. My GF is constantly in the gym and her body will blow any 25 yr olds away. Shit look at Demi Moore and Heather Locklear. Both in their 40's and they look like they are 30. Amazing!

Good luck with your final decision but follow your gut instincts.

 

[vinylgroover]

That said, if you have a goal in your life and you meet someone that will not fit into that goal and you are not willing to alter it - why start something that you can't finish?

I may be harsh to point that out but I'll be damned if the concept is incorrect.

If the main reason this woman left her husband in the first place was because he didn't want kids, her actions fly in the face of what you just said. Why did she marry him in the first place if she knew he didn't want kids? Doesn't that suggest immaturity on her part.

Stone cold is trying to avoid that very situation from happening to him by planning, which is something more people should do.

 

[velvett]

If the main reason this woman left her husband in the first place was because he didn't want kids, her actions fly in the face of what you just said. Why did she marry him in the first place if she knew he didn't want kids? Doesn't that suggest immaturity on her part.

Stone cold is trying to avoid that very situation from happening to him by planning, which is something more people should do.

Maybe he didn't want HER kids?


Why start dating someone 9 years older than yourself if you already know you want to start a family not sooner than 5 years from now?

Same thing, no?

Or was the *gee, how old are you?* not a 1st date question?

Unless of course you're just looking for sex and you by accident fell for this person, equally as immature.

 

[The Shadow]

Maybe he didn't want HER kids?

....very VERY valid question

 

[OMEGA]

what advice...............


have fun

 

[velvett]

One more thought (and then I'll shut the hell up)

An IMPLIED concept, via thought, assumption or previous action is NOT the equivalent to an ACTUAL statement of future action.

 

[OMEGA]

another thing don't analyze her.........

or compare her to other women.......just enjoy the time, and the sex, or love making whatever you want to call it,

you will both teach each other alot ......have fun!!!!

 

[vinylgroover]

Maybe he didn't want HER kids?


Why start dating someone 9 years older than yourself if you already know you want to start a family not sooner than 5 years from now?

Same thing, no?

Or was the *gee, how old are you?* not a 1st date question?

Unless of course you're just looking for sex and you by accident fell for this person, equally as immature.

She should have thought the same thing before dating him. Is a guy of 25 ready to have children yet? hmmmm, chances are he's not......maybe i shouldn't go out with him. If you accuse him of being immature then the same should apply to the woman in this situation.

To assume that because someone is 35 they are mature is a ridiculous assertion. I have met many woman in their 30's and 40's as i'm sure you've met men, whose immaturity is astounding.

The fact he is thinking about these things would suggest a level of maturity in my books, regardless of whether he thought about it initially or not. The more immature thing to do would be to get swepped up by emotion and 'love' and marry her and then realise it's not what he wanted.