Nice guys finish last...

[Hard-Bitten]

The phrase really is true when it comes to girls. I mean, I'm in college and I always treat girls with respect. I guess thats a free pass to the "just friends" zone. I dunno, I'm not one of those jerks that is looking for a one night stand. I'm actually saving myself for marriage. I'm just looking for a good girl to actually have a relationship with. It just seems like all the girls I know are infatuated with idiots. I'll never understand why girls like jackasses. Anyone else out there finishing last?

I don't think nice guys finished last.
I believe that dumb/overly passive shy/wallflower guys finished last.

Describe nice guys they finished last typically because they don't have enough confidence or courage to do the things that ' bad boys ' would do.

girls are not attractive ' jackasses' girls are attractive guy who have BALLS .. bravery and able to handle simple conversation..

 

[McFakerton]

The ones you want, you can't have, and the ones you can have, you don't want.

God, isn't that the truth. I've got a few that pretty openly want me, but I have no desire to be with, but the ones I want just never seem to work out.

 

[megamania500]

I don't think nice guys finished last.
I believe that dumb/overly passive shy/wallflower guys finished last.

Describe nice guys they finished last typically because they don't have enough confidence or courage to do the things that ' bad boys ' would do.

girls are not attractive ' jackasses' girls are attractive guy who have BALLS .. bravery and able to handle simple conversation..

^^^^^^^There you go, everyone. Straight from a woman's mouth and mind. Simply put: act shy, submissive, and passive and a girl will have NO interest in you whatsoever. Why? Because when you put a girl on a pedestal, she sees you as being "beneath" her socially, and she loses respect for you. C'mon, lets face it. Would you have respect for someone who would go out of their way to kiss your ass? And no woman is going to have passionate desires for any man they don't respect.
A bad boy, on the other hand, doesn't care what she thinks about him. If she doesn't like him, he's confident enough to know that he will find someone who does. This confidence can take a man far in a woman's eyes. He challenges her opinions, doesn't kiss her ass, isn't afraid to tease her, and makes her laugh. He comes off as being interesting, while a "nice guy" comes off as boring. A "bad boy" comes off as being an alpha male, someone who takes charge. And in the animal kingdom, this is the attributes that a woman unconsiously notices in a man when deciding whether or not she wants him. Why? From a biological standpoint, it means that the offspring will have these same attributes and have a better chance of survival. Don't think for a second that humans haven't lost this instinct within them.
Plus, the typical "nice guy" will lavish a woman with flowers, dinner, compliments, and all this other stuff that basically comes down to being defined as "courtship rituals". When he does this, who is really in control? Him? Definitely not! By doing all this stuff, he is saying, "I like you. Pick me to be with you!". So who is in control? She is. It is HER decision whether or not she wants to pursue the relationship. He just has to wait it out, hoping she'll choose to be with him while he continuously tries to win her over. But from the beginning, she is in control and she KNOWS IT.
But you get a "bad boy" out there and his attitude comes off as saying, "I set my own standards. Maybe I want you, maybe I don't. Let me see if you are up to my standards before I choose you. If you have no interest in me, fine. I will just move on to the next woman who I think may be up to my standards." Now HE is in control of who he chooses. Women find this confidence very appealing. And for some women, they just automatically have to prove to themselves that they are up to his standards. So with this, a woman develops an interest in the guy. This interest will NEVER be shown to a "nice guy" type of man, because he doesn't create it in the woman. On top of that, the woman finds the guy fun to be around because of his confidence. She feels great around him. And to a woman, a man who can create these feelings in her are as attractive to them as physical beauty is to us men. Then on top of that, even, something in a woman kicks in about how she wants to change him, to "tame" him. Add all this together, and you can see why a woman prefers a "bad boy" to a "nice guy".

 

[Fajitas]

Great post!!!

^^^^^^^There you go, everyone. Straight from a woman's mouth and mind. Simply put: act shy, submissive, and passive and a girl will have NO interest in you whatsoever. Why? Because when you put a girl on a pedestal, she sees you as being "beneath" her socially, and she loses respect for you. C'mon, lets face it. Would you have respect for someone who would go out of their way to kiss your ass?
A bad boy, on the other hand, doesn't care what she thinks about him. If she doesn't like him, he's confident enough to know that he will find someone who does. This confidence can take a man far in a woman's eyes. He challenges her opinions, doesn't kiss her ass, isn't afraid to tease her, and makes her laugh. He comes off as being interesting, while a "nice guy" comes off as boring. A "bad boy" comes off as being an alpha male, someone who takes charge. And in the animal kingdom, this is the attributes that a woman unconsiously notices in a man when deciding whether or not she wants him. Why? From a biological standpoint, it means that the offspring will have these same attributes and have a better chance of survival. Don't think for a second that humans haven't lost this instinct within them.
Plus, the typical "nice guy" will lavish a woman with flowers, dinner, compliments, and all this other stuff that basically comes down to being defined as "courtship rituals". When he does this, who is really in control? Him? Definitely not! By doing all this stuff, he is saying, "I like you. Pick me to be with you!". So who is in control? She is. It is HER decision whether or not she wants to pursue the relationship. He just has to wait it out, while he continuously trying to win her over. But from the beginning, she is in control and she KNOWS IT.
But you get a "bad boy" out there and his attitude comes off as saying, "I set my own standards. Maybe I want you, maybe I don't. Let me see if you are up to my standards before I choose you. If you have no interest in me, fine. I will just move on to the next woman who I think may be up to my standards." Now HE is in control of who he chooses. For some women, they just automatically have to prove to themselves that they are up to his standards, so they show interest. This interest will NEVER be shown to a "nice guy" type of man, because he doesn't create it in the woman. On top of that, the woman finds the guy fun to be around because of his confidence. She feels great around him. And to a woman, a man who can create these feelings in her are as attractive to them as physical beauty is to us men. Then on top of that, even, something in a woman kicks in about how she wants to change him, to "tame" him. Add all this together, and you can see why a woman prefers a "bad boy" to a "nice guy".

 

[rake922]

Great points

 

[T-Matt]

You guys need to read some David Deangelo.. Cocky + Funny= You getting some ass.. Simple as that fellas..

I am a gentleman and I get all the ass I can handle.. Women test you.. if you don't pass the test, they move on to the next guy who can keep them on their toes..

It's like this.. let's say you're kind of semi dating a woman and she's having her period and shit and she calls you and asks for you to bring her by some chocolate.. A lot of guys would be like "Ok, here's my chance to prove that I'm a good guy." You'll go and get her some chocolate and bring it by and she'll be acting all happy and shit and you think everything is fine and dandy.. Your dumbass will call her like 3 times the next day to ask her how she's doing and to ultimately see if your kind gesture paid off.. Too bad so sad b/c she's already on to the next guy, you're in the friend zone buddy.. So, what do you do? She asks you to bring buy some chocolate but you, instead tell her that you're sorry she feels bad but you are too busy and cannot leave what you are doing.. Here's the catch.. A few days later you call her and you set up a date with her and you bring her chocolate THEN.. That just says all the right things to a woman.. it says A) I have my own life B) I'm not desperate C) I'm thoughtful D) I'm genuine E) i'm not a fucking pussy who beckons to your every call..

Being a gentleman means that you open doors for every woman.. EVen if you're with your woman you still open the door for other ladies.. You treat your server (if you go out) with upmost respect, you make it a point to poke your head into the kitchen and thank the cooks for the excellent cooking (if the cooks are good).. hell, you know what i do? Fuck, if I go out on a dinner date with a girl I'll tell one of my friends to call me at a certain time during the date when I know we'll be in the middle of eating.. The phone will ring and I'll say to my date "Hold on for a second." I'll answer the phone "Hey.. Yeah yeah.. Hey, can I call you back? I'm with someone important right now." Shit, that's not being a pussy, that's fucking being a real man, a gentleman.. You know what? if I get another unexpected call, I'll say the same thing..

Just think if you were an attractive girl.. think how fucking boring life would be having every fucking guy walk up to you with the same bull shit "Eh ma, was good, you be lookin fine like whoa babygirl, know what i saying" Fuck that.. I'd probably end up pulling all my hair out of I was a woman.. Or shit, think about all the dumb ass older wealthy dudes.. "ummm, hi.. I like umm.. know you're like.. incredibly beautiful.. and you'd probably NEVER go out with a guy like me.. but, i promise.. i'm like a genuinely nice guy.. I won't cheat on you.. Would you like go out with me to eat Friday night?" I mean fuck I think 300mg of test cypionate just leaked out of my fucking fingers for typing that shit, grow some fucking balls man!!!!

It is a MAN'S job to learn how to attract a female.. It's not a female's job to learn the male psyche, fuck that.. They know what they want in a man, they just can't find a man to make them feel that gut level attraction..

Man up and learn how to give a woman what she really wants..

T-Matt

 

[truckdaddy]

its so true....i learned that a long time ago.

 

[Fajitas]

I love David Deangelos stuff....good post!

 

[markshark]

The phrase really is true when it comes to girls. I mean, I'm in college and I always treat girls with respect. I guess thats a free pass to the "just friends" zone. I dunno, I'm not one of those jerks that is looking for a one night stand. I'm actually saving myself for marriage. I'm just looking for a good girl to actually have a relationship with. It just seems like all the girls I know are infatuated with idiots. I'll never understand why girls like jackasses. Anyone else out there finishing last?

a girl would rather be with a guy who looks good, is a badass, has 2 other kids and is on drugs and cheats on her than a guy that is nice and does things for her. its because girls are emotional creatures and would rather be taken on a roller coaster ride then treated well. they like havin that sick feeling in their stomach when theyre with a guy, always worrying about what hes doin and shit and feelin like she has to work for him or change him. its fun to them.

 

[heatherrae]

I have a different theory on why nice guys lose and jerks get the girl.

One thing about nice guys is that they are usually "genuinely" nice, but not always. When I say "genuine", I mean truly self-less and charitable (if you're Christian, think Jesus-like). However, when they meet a girl that they like or find attractive, they will be extra nice, but with the intention/hope/wish of the girl liking him for his kindness. So it's no longer doing something nice for the sake of doing something good, but for the sake of possible hanky panky. "Nice" guys will go to extreme lengths to make this girl happy, and there's nothing wrong with doing that. But more often than not, it's not truly genuine. I base that on the fact that guys will complain about some girl not like him that way even though he did lots of things for her.

The reason why girls like jerks (it's not the absolute truth, but it's somewhat true) is NOT because they're jerks, but because jerks have characteristics that are attractive to women (i.e. confidence) which "nice" guys don't have around girls they're interested in. Jerks aren't afraid to tell a girl what he really thinks whereas a "nice" guy will sometimes hold back and not say the truth.

The jerks also tend to be more of a challenge in a relationship, whereas a "nice" guy will declare his love from the moment they meet and put her on a pedastal asap. That's where that other cliche comes into play, "the ones you want, you can't have, and the ones you can have, you don't want."

And in closing, I've noticed this Catch-22 about nice guys. "Nice guys" are usually great friends and great husbands, but they tend to be lousy boyfriends. And if you can't be a great boyfriend, it's almost impossible to become the great husband (assuming you're looking for marriage), and thus the "friend zone" is as far as you'll ever get with the girl of your dreams.

Kancho

^^^^

I completely agree. I have had some "nice guys" who automatically think that they are in love about a minute after meeting someone. They profess how much they care for you and kiss your ass, but none of it feels genuine. They lavish you with compliments, gifts, etc but they do so because they are in love with some fantasy of who you are instead of who you really are. It's too soon and there is an element of "quid pro quo" to the situation. The guy thinks, "Okay, so I have complimented you, been a shoulder to cry on, etc. Now you owe me. You are required to love me romantically." There is always this feeling of tension. It is very difficult to fall in love with someone when you have this huge pressure on you to fall in love.

I have never gone for "bad boys." I have always gone for the "nice guys." I'm just saying that sometimes the nice guys are not as genuinely nice as they profess to be.

Also, I dated one "nice guy" who was so sensitive that he was always crying and whimpering about where the relationship was going. It was CONSTANT! All that whimpering was so damned annoying. He needed to grow some balls and have some fun.

There is a difference between being a nice guy and being a doormat or a whimpering pansy. Also there is a difference in being a genuine nice guy and a guy trying to buy love with good deeds. I love genuinely nice guys.