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true story...happened friday...if i'm lyin' i'm dyin'.....
my niece and nephew are as close as i'm going to get to having kids (unless a drunken frat party from college surprises me one day). i'm close to them and love them as if they were my own issue.
my 16 year old niece uses the computer at my mother's house, as mom has high speed internet and a new computer. i do my car work at mom's house as she has a double car garage and wide driveway that i don't have anymore.
as i pull up in mom's driveway to do an oil change, i see my niece's mustang and a unidentifed early 90's firebird in the driveway. my mom's car is not in the garage.
i walk into the house and hear the sounds of arguing going on, ending with my niece's voice yelling "STOP, STOP IT..GET OFF ME!"
walking into my mother's bedroom, i see my niece on the carpet, pinned to the ground by some strange boy,with his levi's missing, mooning the ceiling fan.
grabbing my old aluminum baseball bat that my mom keeps next to her bed, i start swinging at the boy, yelling ''GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE YOU LIL' SUNOVABITCH!"
luckily (for him) my aim is off and all i do i hit the carpeting and the footboard of the bed.
i chase the horny, pimply kid thru the house, down the driveway and to his car. before he makes his escape, i manage to shatter both taillights, the plastic filler panel between the lights, and put a couple of good sized dents on the trailing edge of the trunk.
guys and gals........i cannot recall the last time i was that angry, that incensed, that insulted. all i saw thru a red mist was the rapidly departing, dented firebird. a vein in my temple was pulsating like a soon to burn out neon light. i had to sink to the curb and put my head down b/t my knees...thought i was gona have a stroke there at the street curb. for the rest of the day/night i had a headache tht cudda registed on the earthquake scale.
later on that evening the kid's father called, asking who was going to pay for the damage done to his son's car. i told the father to come on over and we could discuss it and he could also retrieve his son's underwear, wallet and 3 pak of condoms he left in his haste to depart.
laud, i'm glad i'm single...i don't think i could handle being a full time parent.
my niece and nephew are as close as i'm going to get to having kids (unless a drunken frat party from college surprises me one day). i'm close to them and love them as if they were my own issue.
my 16 year old niece uses the computer at my mother's house, as mom has high speed internet and a new computer. i do my car work at mom's house as she has a double car garage and wide driveway that i don't have anymore.
as i pull up in mom's driveway to do an oil change, i see my niece's mustang and a unidentifed early 90's firebird in the driveway. my mom's car is not in the garage.
i walk into the house and hear the sounds of arguing going on, ending with my niece's voice yelling "STOP, STOP IT..GET OFF ME!"
walking into my mother's bedroom, i see my niece on the carpet, pinned to the ground by some strange boy,with his levi's missing, mooning the ceiling fan.
grabbing my old aluminum baseball bat that my mom keeps next to her bed, i start swinging at the boy, yelling ''GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE YOU LIL' SUNOVABITCH!"
luckily (for him) my aim is off and all i do i hit the carpeting and the footboard of the bed.
i chase the horny, pimply kid thru the house, down the driveway and to his car. before he makes his escape, i manage to shatter both taillights, the plastic filler panel between the lights, and put a couple of good sized dents on the trailing edge of the trunk.
guys and gals........i cannot recall the last time i was that angry, that incensed, that insulted. all i saw thru a red mist was the rapidly departing, dented firebird. a vein in my temple was pulsating like a soon to burn out neon light. i had to sink to the curb and put my head down b/t my knees...thought i was gona have a stroke there at the street curb. for the rest of the day/night i had a headache tht cudda registed on the earthquake scale.
later on that evening the kid's father called, asking who was going to pay for the damage done to his son's car. i told the father to come on over and we could discuss it and he could also retrieve his son's underwear, wallet and 3 pak of condoms he left in his haste to depart.
laud, i'm glad i'm single...i don't think i could handle being a full time parent.
