My GF has ZERO sex drive

[KD1]

Maybe she is just not a sexual person. Some people dont want sex that much, there is nothing wrong with them, no blood test that can tell the doctor something, or magic supplement they can take. She seems to be trying to tell you this.

 

[resqguy]

She seems to be trying to tell you this.

I'm not dissatisfied by the frequency. Rather, SHE'S dissatisfied. She wants to want it more. She's not "trying" to tell me anything. She's very clearly expressed that she's never been overly sexual.

 

[youngguns]

Hope all goes well.

 

[5150guy]

My vote is with the ladies

Has she had her hormone levels checked? She needs a certain amount of testosterone in her system to have strong libido-psychological issues aside. Does she adequately naturally lubricate during foreplay and sex?

If stress seems to be a part of the equation, bio feedback can really help a person learn to lower their stress and anxiety levels. Perhaps something like this will help.

Hey if nothing else you can put subliminal messages on her I pod about sex and wanting it more often.

Let us know how things turn out

 

[musclemom]

I'm not dissatisfied by the frequency. Rather, SHE'S dissatisfied. She wants to want it more. She's not "trying" to tell me anything. She's very clearly expressed that she's never been overly sexual.

A relatively easy way to eliminate stress as the cause is to go on a nice (ideally, 9 day) vacation together in a very laid back place. You don't want to be going on a "high activity" vacation (every day is booked with activities, site seeing, museums, etc.). What you want is a place where you're days are going to go like this: wake up whenever you want, breakfast, wander down to beach or pool ... maybe a bike ride ... back to room ... shower ... lunch ... back to the beach or pool or sprawl in bed and watch a movie or read a book ... take about 1/2 hour to consider where to eat dinner ... rinse and repeat.

If her libido hasn't kicked up to a more pleasant level by about day 5, then y'all can rule out stress and she needs to make an appointment with an endocrinologist who has a subspeciality in women's sexual health. Don't go to a gynocologist for this, get an endo.

But try to eliminate stress as a cause first. If it is stress, then she needs to develop coping skills or, frankly, get a new job, short and sweet, because that kind of stress eventually does a lot more than suck away your sex drive, it sucks away your life and health.

 

[resqguy]

A relatively easy way to eliminate stress as the cause is to go on a nice (ideally, 9 day) vacation together in a very laid back place. You don't want to be going on a "high activity" vacation (every day is booked with activities, site seeing, museums, etc.). What you want is a place where you're days are going to go like this: wake up whenever you want, breakfast, wander down to beach or pool ... maybe a bike ride ... back to room ... shower ... lunch ... back to the beach or pool or sprawl in bed and watch a movie or read a book ... take about 1/2 hour to consider where to eat dinner ... rinse and repeat.

If her libido hasn't kicked up to a more pleasant level by about day 5, then y'all can rule out stress and she needs to make an appointment with an endocrinologist who has a subspeciality in women's sexual health. Don't go to a gynocologist for this, get an endo.

But try to eliminate stress as a cause first. If it is stress, then she needs to develop coping skills or, frankly, get a new job, short and sweet, because that kind of stress eventually does a lot more than suck away your sex drive, it sucks away your life and health.

That's funny you should mention vacations. We've been together for nearly two years now and we've taken a few trips together. Within a day after arriving to our destination, she's WAY more aggressive. It's like, once she's removed from her day-to-day environment, she's completely relaxed.

 

[resqguy]

Re: My vote is with the ladies

Has she had her hormone levels checked? She needs a certain amount of testosterone in her system to have strong libido-psychological issues aside. Does she adequately naturally lubricate during foreplay and sex?

If stress seems to be a part of the equation, bio feedback can really help a person learn to lower their stress and anxiety levels. Perhaps something like this will help.

Hey if nothing else you can put subliminal messages on her I pod about sex and wanting it more often.

Let us know how things turn out

She's never had anything checked before. In fact, she's never even mentioned it to her doctor...I think she's a little embarrassed. Recently, she mentioned talked about it with her physician, but she hasn't scheduled an appointment yet. Once we begin "fooling around," she "lubricates" adequately. Actually, once she's gets going, she's totally into it. It's just that initial desire that she claims to lack. Like I said in my early posts, we have sex regularly and it's always good. I'm not wanting more...although I certainly wouldn't turn her down, haha. So along those same lines, I'm DEFINITELY not pressuring her for more sex. She's just wondering why she's not horny 24/7 now that she's into her early 30's.

 

[SpyWizard]

Just know men, women also need a good chase. When men are "needy" for sex all the time, it makes the women less challenged.
It's called the Pepe La Peu syndrome!
Make us beg for it

and that's what i tell guys all the time...


Here it is..

Whatever you do to let her know you are interested, if it is a touch, a whisper, what ever, do that, but when she starts to object, just tell her, naw, i just want to be close, hold you...

now here is the hard part, you probably will be rock hard at this point and she will know it, feel it, smell it... you must not give in, i don't care if she says "alright, we can do it so you can go to sleep" .. you must not ever have sex with her even 1 time using this..

in about 2-3 hours she will be waking you up attacking you.. if she doesn't the next day she will ..

you must not empower her by telling her, or letting her know you want to be close so bad...

good luck

 

[musclemom]

That's funny you should mention vacations. We've been together for nearly two years now and we've taken a few trips together. Within a day after arriving to our destination, she's WAY more aggressive. It's like, once she's removed from her day-to-day environment, she's completely relaxed.

There's your real answer. There's nothing physically wrong with your GF, and throwing drugs at this problem, or messing around with her hormones, will only compound the situation and create different problems in the long run

She doesn't need fixing, her life/work/home enviroment or the way she lets her life affect her psyche is what really needs changing.

Women are different from men, we are just not as good as men are at compartmentalizing the different facets of our life. For a lot of women, the fact of life is if we are unhappy in our job, we are unhappy in our job 24/7/365, not just when we're at work.

 

[HiDnGoD]

But try to eliminate stress as a cause first. If it is stress, then she needs to develop coping skills or, frankly, get a new job, short and sweet, because that kind of stress eventually does a lot more than suck away your sex drive, it sucks away your life and health.

Words to live by. If you don't enjoy your work, it can touch & ruin every part of your life.
Having said that, some people just do not have a high sex drive. Doesn't mean there is anything to fix, or anything that can be fixed. That's just the way it is.