I gotta warn you guys about that "pill to live forever" thing. In 224 B. C. I was a goat herder in Plecadonia, a small mountain area that is now part of Greece. One day while I was out tending my flock this wierd skinny guy with a ratty gray cloak came up to me. I couldn't really see what he looked like 'cuz he had the hood pulled over his head. Well, one skinny boney hand comes poking out of his cloak and he is holding this little vial of elixir. What's that I ask (as though I would want anything from his skinny ratty ass) and he tells me in a croaky voice, "This is the elixir of eternal life. Drink it and you will have youth forever." Well, the wierdo wanted to trade it to me for my flock. Finally I talked him down to one goat. (I figured I could trade the elixir to my friend Ernie for some cool stuff later.) The guy turns and is leaving and as he is going he turns back and says, "Learn through life that living is a blessing and a curse." Well, I didn't know exactly what he meant by that but I figured maybe he meant this elixir stuff really worked so I decided to swig it right there. Nothing much really happened for the first 50 or so years. Then all the people in my villiage started getting wierd. You know. Asking questions like "Why are we aging and you don't?" and saying stuff like, "You were a young man when I was a boy and now you are a young man when I am old and gray." Well we all knew it wasn't going to be too long before somebody shouted "Witch!" And sure enough somebody did. Well they started to stone me and chase me out of the villiage with pitch forks. Fortunately I was young and fast and they were all old and feeble so I could run fast. I spent the next two thousand or so years wandering from country to country - never really staying in one spot long enough for people to see that I didn't age - amassing wealth - knowledge - knowing the great minds of our time. All in all it has been pretty cool, but it has been a total bitch to watch everybody you know grow old and croak. And sometimes, truthfully I miss the good old days out herding my goats when we used to stone people for being retards and stuff.