I got angrier today than I ever have been in my entire life.

[nefertiti]

MM...you're definitely right about the old boys thing, and I think that's part of it. My mother was the first woman rector in all of the state of NY, and till today she was the highest ranking and rector of the largest church out of the women in this diocese. Her entire career she has met with types that still didn't think she had any place at the alter and she always handled it with class and grace.

Both my mom and dad have encouraged me to forgive them and yadda yadda...I know it would certainly be easier on me to do this. I'm just not sure how to get rid of how I'm feeling right now. I'm still so mad I'm seeing red. If I were back in DC I'd probably go out and get drunk lol, but I don't know anyone up here anymore so I am stuck at our house pouting and stomping around like an idiot.

 

[jackangel]

i blame paul, that fuck.

he should have remained saul.

 

[Sub-Zero]

We're talking breaking out into a sweat, hands shaking, short breath, pure anger. And then I had to put a smile on my face and make nice small talk with one of the two sources of this anger.

I also think it's safe to say I am through wth organized religion. Not my faith, just the "church" in general. What a fucking crock of shit. There are some good priests out there...two of them being my parents who represent the little bit that is good about religion in my mind (and judging by all the crying by my mother's parishioners today at her last service before retirement, other people share this view). But organized religion is forever tainted to me. At a time in my mother's life when according to everything they preach about the church should have supported and craddled my mother through her struggle, they instead kicked her in the face in the cruelest way while she was down. The only thing stoping me from walking into the Bishop's office, throwing holy water on him and telling him I'm surprised it doesn't burn him like acid is the fact that my father is still an active clergy in the diocese and I don't want to make things more difficult for him.

Fuck, just typing this out again makes me want to hit something.

I've already been to the gym and blasted my body in an attempt to work out some of this anger but it didn't much help. Any other ideas?

(PS - for the inevitable "I thought priests couldn't marry and have kids" question, I'm episcopal, and we use the same language as catholics, but women can be priests, they can marry, have kids, etc)

what did they do to your mom?

iv flipped out over the stupidest shit...the angirest iv been in my life at certain points have all been from dumb stuff

 

[javaguru]

i blame paul, that fuck.

he should have remained saul.

Pretty much.....he was the marketing guru for that obscure Jewish sect called Christianity. Marketing Christianity to gentiles was a bigger marketing coup than the ,"Where's the Beef" campaign.

 

[nefertiti]

what did they do to your mom?

iv flipped out over the stupidest shit...the angirest iv been in my life at certain points have all been from dumb stuff

See my other post...went into it a bit.

I don't get mad often. It takes a LOT to get me angry.

 

[biteme]

The only time I'm ever very religious anymore is when I think I"m about to die. My rational thought just tells me that it's stupid and no matter how hard I try, I can't change that. Religion is emotional.

 

[musclemom]

Both my mom and dad have encouraged me to forgive them and yadda yadda...I know it would certainly be easier on me to do this. I'm just not sure how to get rid of how I'm feeling right now. I'm still so mad I'm seeing red.

You can do one of two things:

1. Do something GUARANTEED to distract you, completely and utterly from it, until you've gotten enough distance to deal with it.

2. Or sit down and write out EVERYTHING you are thinking and feeling about this situation, EVERYTHING, including the things it brings up in terms of associations. Write it like an essay, write it like a letter, write it as a song or poem, whatever, but POUR your emotion into what you are feeling/thinking. Don't STOP writing until you're done. Re-read what you wrote, make sure it's complete. Then light a fire, whether it's a lighter in the bathroom, or a fire in a fireplace or even a match out in the street, and burn up what you just wrote. While you're watching it burn, you think about forgiveness, and that it's okay to let go of your anger.

Talking about anger like this doesn't necessarily fix it. You need to become introspective and address why it hurts you so much and be open to fixing whatever is hurt inside of you, seriously. Is it the old boy's network? Is it your mother being treated dismissively? Is it just a male/female issue? Or something else, you see what I'm saying?

Christians pray on it, and seek the answer from their church; Wiccans meditate and look within. Looking within can be very soothing. Part of the reason you're so angry currently is that you are upset with what would normally be your way of seeking an answer, i.e., your religious institution.

 

[javaguru]

MM, you didn't cover the third option, a shooting spree but I really don't see Nefertitties being that type.

 

[heatherrae]

Hmmmm...a group of men pushed out a woman who was dealing with some sort of abuse which was probably perpetrated on her by some man. Color me surprised. Most men are assholes. It has little to do with religion. It's that fucking Y chromosome.

 

[javaguru]

Hmmmm...a group of men pushed out a woman who was dealing with some sort of abuse which was probably perpetrated on her by some man. Color me surprised. Most men are assholes. It has little to do with religion. It's that fucking Y chromosome.

You're growing one in your uterus....STFU....Some of us do have values... The Christian faith is ALL about male dominance, it's in the Bible you stupid bitches....Christianity is still a misogynist's
religion...