How forgiving are you when your man does something shady?

[Jade19]

He actually read this thread and it pissed him off. He says get over it.

The story behind all this............

He went out one night to go drinking with his buddies, afterwards he called me and told me he was going to come back home with his friend. No call no show, no answer on the phone. Only to find out he went over to this girls house with 2 of his guy friends and one other girl. The girls house he was at is his ex, who wants him............

His friend called me and told me they were over there..he refused to speak to me. Then later that day he called and claimed he slept at his moms, which was bs cuz i already knew and i called his moms that morning he wasnt there.
So i confronted him and he admitted it, said they just went there cuz she had more beer and nothing happened. I talked to the girl too, she said nothing happened, and her friend called me too- same thing.

I just cant let that go, there is no peace coming to me and its been almost 2 months. (He's promised to stop drinking, only once in awhile) He's gone out once since then and i picked him up after the bar.

SHADY AS HELL

The thought of him sleeping with someone else makes my heart drop. I'm so commited to him, but when i get hurt i hold onto it. Plus i tend to distance myself a little sort of put up a wall.......so i dont get hurt as bad

 

[PaganPunkstress]

He refused to speak to you?
Oh girl you cant just sit back and wait for him to actualy do something to hurt you even more.
Looks like hes hurt you pretty good by now,
ive been in these types of relationships and its no good trust me.
The dude dont even seem to care the least bit what you have to say,
its all about him girlie trust me.
You've got to toughen up, find a better man.
they do exist trust me!
*Hugs*

 

[habitualhealth]

How long have you guys been together?

 

[Jade19]

How long have you guys been together?

We've been together since may 2003, but we broke up for a few months, nov/dec 03. Living together for a year now. I talked to him once while he was there and he was so pissy drunk i couldnt understand him, but i knew he was being an asshole. He knows i hate that girl, so he didnt want to talk to me cuz he knew he was showing no respect by being with her even.
\

He hasnt pulled anything like that otherwise ........hes drank once in 2 months now (like i said before) but it pisses me off soo bad, i wanna know the truth but i dont trust him in the situation, partially because he pops pills when he drinks which cause blackouts and he f*cking lied....how do i know when im getting the truth?

 

[flexygrl]

We've been together since may 2003, but we broke up for a few months, nov/dec 03. Living together for a year now. I talked to him once while he was there and he was so pissy drunk i couldnt understand him, but i knew he was being an asshole. He knows i hate that girl, so he didnt want to talk to me cuz he knew he was showing no respect by being with her even.
\

He hasnt pulled anything like that otherwise ........hes drank once in 2 months now (like i said before) but it pisses me off soo bad, i wanna know the truth but i dont trust him in the situation, partially because he pops pills when he drinks which cause blackouts and he f*cking lied....how do i know when im getting the truth?

I wasn't going to respond but I have to. Get out now! This is not a healthy situation. How old are you? How old is he? I know since you both live together that you may feel trapped but you aren't. He is way too imature to have a relationship. He is a liar and let me tell you it will only get worse from here. Trust me I speak from personal experience. I have to tell you and as hard as it will be to hear you need to trust your intuition. That little voice inside of you is telling you something is not right. Listen to her. She will never steer you wrong. Get out now before you get deeper into this. Everybody deserves someone who will respect them and treat them right. Everybody deserves someone who treats themselves good because if they don't how will they treat you good?!? You do too. Respect yourself, kick his ass to the curb, move out and MOVE ON! Good luck to you.

 

[flexygrl]

I wasn't going to respond but I have to. Get out now! This is not a healthy situation. How old are you? How old is he? I know since you both live together that you may feel trapped but you aren't. He is way too imature to have a relationship. He is a liar and let me tell you it will only get worse from here. Trust me I speak from personal experience. I have to tell you and as hard as it will be to hear you need to trust your intuition. That little voice inside of you is telling you something is not right. Listen to her. She will never steer you wrong. Get out now before you get deeper into this. Everybody deserves someone who will respect them and treat them right. Everybody deserves someone who treats themselves good because if they don't how will they treat you good?!? You do too. Respect yourself, kick his ass to the curb, move out and MOVE ON! Good luck to you.

Oh...and if he is reading this...YES, I told your girl to leave you. Don't think when she does that it's because of anything I or any of the other girls have said. You single handedly destroyed your relationship. Good job! Now get some help before you screw up someone else's life.

 

[habitualhealth]

Oh...and if he is reading this...YES, I told your girl to leave you. Don't think when she does that it's because of anything I or any of the other girls have said. You single handedly destroyed your relationship. Good job! Now get some help before you screw up someone else's life.

Yeah!! Get 'em gurl! Tell him to go pound sand.

 

[Jade19]

I have to give him some credit, I lost my job due to some drama BS and he has been paying our bills now for 2 months. I just got a job about 2 weeks ago. He's been there throughout my depression struggle and has been there for me throughtout my fathers struggle with cancer. Pulled me out of my apartment where my roomates sold meth, and let me live with him and his mother for about 2 months before we moved into this place. Overall we both know we are good influences on eachother, hes my best friend.

I don't feel trapped here at all, I have a few places I could go live without a problem. The thought hurts, but when it all comes down there is no proof that he cheated, just that he lied. That being the case, I've been caught in some lies too. It's hypocritical of me to break up with him for something I have done myself. It was the first (and only time I will deal with it) that he did some really shady BS. I told him that was it and I meant it, love causes you to try to give the benefit of the doubt. I just seem to think about it all the time. The smallest thing will remind me of it. It's caused me to become jealous easily also, and I thought I was bad before.

 

[littlemully]

Trust is a fundemental foundation in a relationship. Period. If you can't trust someone you love..... there are going to be major issues, now and later. Even though you guys are best friends maybe it would be wise to spend some time apart and collect your thoughts on your life and whats best for you. Sometimes whats best for us are the things we don't want to do. (If that makes any sense. lol)

 

[Sassy69]

The one thing I have to say is that people (women especially) spend lots of time analyzing and then some how justifying an action someone else did and some how the woman ends up carrying part of the blame. If this is someone who you can discuss the issue with, then for God's sake, do it. Get it out in the open and maybe some other issues that might be the root of the larger problem will come out. If not , you face the chance that it can continue and at some point you neeed to make a stand on it or it will eat you up or end up hurting you in more ways than just emotionally.

Its a tough one because these things are often not as catastrophic as they could be, but still, if it's bothering you that much, I'd deal with it.