How forgiving are you when your man does something shady?

[Jade19]

I've caught him in some BS lies, I dwell on things and don't really let them go. (only the more serious things) He gets mad because he knows i dwell on it, and it still pisses me off. Can't say I forgive him because my trust for people in general is shot.

 

[velvett]

Your lover, partner, mate - whatever the description should really be the one person you can count on. If that one person sees fit to lie to you about anything then that person should not be that one you can count on and liars, well, you can only count on them to lie to you.

 

[Jade19]

Your lover, partner, mate - whatever the description should really be the one person you can count on. If that one person sees fit to lie to you about anything then that person should not be that one you can count on and liars, well, you can only count on them to lie to you.

He's only done the shady stuff when hes drunk. I told him after the last inncident that i wasnt going to put up with his drinking ne more, he's stopped but relapse!

 

[*MissFit*]

ppl use alcohol as an excuse.

It's not one

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Define "shady" and "BS lies"

 

[velvett]

He's only done the shady stuff when hes drunk.

Let me twist that around for a second.

He only cheats on me when he's drunk.
He only lies to me when he's drunk.
He only beats me when he's drunk.
He only treats me poorly me when he's drunk.
He only verbally abusive to me when he's drunk.
He only steals from me when he's drunk.
He only promises me it will get better when he's sober.

Is it still ok that shady stuff happens "while intoxicated"?

 

[Jade19]

No it isn't, thats why i cant quit dwelling on it or forgive him. He's never beat me or ne thing. Dont have proof he cheated but he lied about where he was once and i found out. Talked to his friends (the girls they were w 2) They all say nothing happened, but I can't see ........... clearly. Dont wanna lose him, but i feel theres more i prolly dont know about, or know the complete truth.

Unresolved questions are always on my mind, the same one about the same night. I get no peace from it,.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Jade darlin' you are missing the point...

The point is not that he didnt beat you or cheat on you.

The point is that he lied to you... but "only when he was drunk".

So then it is very simple. He either quits drinking, or you quit him - or you stay with him and accept it.

 

[Jade19]

Jade darlin' you are missing the point...

The point is not that he didnt beat you or cheat on you.

The point is that he lied to you... but "only when he was drunk".

So then it is very simple. He either quits drinking, or you quit him - or you stay with him and accept it.

Thats what i told him, dont want to be with a drunk and deal w his bs when hes drunk and he knows that. Hes knows im serious and has knocked the shit off since but im afraid of wasting my time if hes just gonna give up. His dad was a horrible drunk and hes been one for over ten years.........

 

[starfish]

Your lover, partner, mate - whatever the description should really be the one person you can count on. If that one person sees fit to lie to you about anything then that person should not be that one you can count on and liars, well, you can only count on them to lie to you.

Excellent advice.