Help me help my girl

[Stubby2]

I've been hitting the gym hard for the last 8 months and have lost 3 stone and now look and feel good. Im trying to get my girl to go to the gym since she hates the way she looks and has noticed a lot of extra fat in recent months. Ive tried suggesting she go but she thinks im putting her down and usually says stuff like "if im too fat leave me" or "sorry im not good enough for u" she fails to realise I can see she is depressed but she wont do anything about it. I know if she changed up her diet and hit the gym she would feel a lot better about herself and get a bit of confidence back.

She keeps saying she has no time (even though she does) and that she cant afford it (she can) and her mate goes to the gym and has asked her many times to join her.

Any suggestions on how to get her to go to the gym would be great and also any suggestions on how to stop her eating chips and crisps and other shit food.

When we do out weekly shop she piles the trolly with junk... all i buy is chicken breasts and veg... she gets cakes,crisps,coke and other bad stuff (it tempts me too at the weekend ).

I just want her to feel the way Im feeling. She moans at me calling me obsessed all the time also which is a pain in the ass... oh well.

Thanks ladies

STUBS

 

[tripleV]

well i feel for ya....thats just plain sux

but she will NEVER do anything until she makes that decision on her own.

You both need to adopt a healthy lifestyle for it to work, try to explain to her that........but it will be difficult.

sounds to me like shes purposely tring to defy you, maybe she is jealous of your success and your accomplishments.......

she should want to do the same, shes probably got way low self esteem.

actually sounds to me like shes being selfish in that respect.

i say rid the house of all junk,,,,,,,no matter what, dont let her buy that crap.......and if she really cares for you .....she should go with you to train and help herself out, as well as your relationship..

that bites! grrrrrr

tell her to get on here,,,,,lotsa motivation around here and friendly ladies making great gains and accomplishments

best of luck

 

[Phemomena]

try to do things that she may enjoy more than going to the gym together.... walks, runs, go swimming, blading... anything that gets her moving.. she probably feels self conscious about herself and you pushing her to go to the gym probably doesn't help as good as your intentions are...

get her out an moving, which will help her get some inital energy and confidence once she realizes that fitness is not necessarily a chore and that you like doing things with her other than watching tv or whatever, she may make the decision on her own...

as for the food... start with the low fat versions of things she loves (they're crap, but at least it's a start).... cook for her, this may involve finding new recipies and putting more effort in than usual to preparing meals, but show her that eating healthy does not need to be a drag...

also, do the shopping yourself... that way she'll have to go out and buy the junk without you around if she really does want it... she may just be doing all this to get your attention and to spite you in some weird way????

 

[Stubby2]

The thing is I know she has a VERY LOW self esteem but that is what going to the gym will correct. I feel sorry for her but she has run me down a lot about going to the gym all the time and buying protein and stuff all the time. She rekons im going to far... oh well.

We cant really go to the gym together since my work pays for my membership and go at lunch while at work (work 50 miles from where i live) and im knackared when i get home so wouldnt want to go to gym after work.

She could go with her m8 who keeps asking her. Its up to her at the end of the day. She starts feeling low and eats... and justifies it by saying "if people dont like me being the way i am then screw them and screw u". Its a shame she is like this cus it gets me down too.

cheers

STUBS

 

[new@gettinbig]

Get her on the boards we will whip her into shape in no time Your girl sounds really insecure and she is just NOT happy w/ herself right now...struggling w/ body image issues which is tough for a woman.

Just be supportive and keep doing what you are doing. I have found people start to catch on and want to follow after a while....The more they object and say you are obsessed....they are really watching and just wishing they had the same discipline you do. Its hard to get someone to come out of their shell......it will take time and it will be on her time. Keep being positive and allow no negative comments to be said. She needs a lot of positive thoughts right now.

I would seriously get her on here so she can talk w/ other women....it would help. For her to read success stories and for support...rather than just from you. Maybe start taking night walks together outside..go to the park or mall and just walk around....doesnt really feel like exercise then....Buy her a gym membership for christmas...let her try some protein bars...shakes...and stuff. If she reads how we feel great being in better shape....and from a different perspective than you it would probably help... goodluck to ya

 

[ann]

Sit down with her and read the " Hi my name is...... " thread started by Warlobo.

She might find she shares a lot with some of us girls who posted on that thread.

And then she might add her own tale, and get hooked, on these boards at least, and that would be a perfect start for her

 

[littlesha]

Stubby2......

Your girl needs to be aware of the fact that MOST women are insecure about their bodies. That's why we work so hard on them! She isn't alone, and she definitely can RAISE her self-esteem by taking better care of herself. Just knowing that she's doing something healthy will raise her esteem! It may take a lot of get her started...but possibly if she sees that we feel better about our bodies by staying fit, she may be encouraged to start getting fitter herself.

Now one question....what is "stone." How does it relate to our "pound." (1 stone equals how many pounds?). I keep reading these fabulous English mags and still can't figure it out!

Sharon

 

[muskles]

Stubby2,

my boyfriend helped me get into the fitness thing, and now i feel like the crazy protein girl eating meals all day at work
he started by asking me to go jogging w/ him. sometimes i went/somtimes i didn't. eventually, after seeing my weight jump up a bit and feeling helpless, i asked him to help me learn weights... of course, i'd listened to a few stories before that on how lifting is the ultimate exercise and WHY it is. he started me off in our apartment gym - it's small and not too intimidating. maybe i'm not so brave, but my first time at a real gym i felt pretty awkward even though he'd taught me the basics already. he coached me at the aptmt 4 about 3 months (couple times a week) and then we joined a gym together. now, he helps me set my routine straight a bit and we're always talking about diet or training but we don't usually go together. i agree that you should be encouraging, but don't let her get away with making fun of your "wierd" habits either. just ask her if she likes the way you look, and let her know why you're getting those results. my guy did make several pretty mean-hearted comments to me along the way in the name of "coaching" me, and it pissed me off and i let him know it -- but... who knows... maybe it has helped me stay focused on my goals.

Oh, and he just recently got me on this board and I'm loving the women's perspective -- reading the posts keeps me motivated. if i don't feel like going to the gym, i'll just do a little reading and get my tooshee there My self esteem is so much better, too - even if i'm not where i wanna be it feels SOOOOOOO good knowing i'm doing everything i can to get there. i really admire how my man didn't let me screw up his routine -- if I didn't want to go running he'd still go. If I ate junk - he wouldn't... well, a lot of the time. Your lady may get bugged by you always being so disciplined, but believe me she respects you for it.

Do you cook? I love that idea, Phem. I would have LOVED LOVED LOVED it if he had cooked for me, but he's not much of a cook -- so now i am the one trying to help him find new ways to dress up those boring meals.