CNN.com video - female athletes & eating disorders

[treilin]

As everyone here who has gone thru competition prep at least once, we all see the symptoms of "food obsession", "body obsession", probably sometimes wish we could just yak it all up and lose some friggen weight at some point. But the difference is in knowing that that gets you nowhere and the whole process is driven by your body's biochemistry and patience. I've had plenty of 20-30 lb weight swings, seen a few endocrinologists wondering if I somehow managed to hose my metabolism, hit some depression points where I just gave up and let it go for a while - but a lot of that was combined w/ pressures in my life that in most cases pushed me to become more obsessive about the weighttraining because that was my outlet when the rest of my life sucked (e.g. lots of stress & layoff time during the internet boom & bust in the tech industry). But again, just as everyone who has gone thru the extremes of competition prep or near that level of extreme, you see how it all affects you and your moods, your self image and how you interact with others. I think when you see other people getting mad or concerned about you that you first think "God, they just don't understand. This is so important to me and they are not helping" -- but then you pass thru that and realize that its not their job to deal w/ your mood swings - you made that choice and its your job to manage it within the scope of your life in a civilized world.

I'm really glad I read this this morning! I have been starting to see myslef doing just that exact same thing AGAIN. I go to my friends house and she has cooked food or is eating something. I'm not necessarily hungry but with hormones going out of control right now It's like it's in my stomach before I realize it. Not to point the finger at her but that I feel like I can't go over her house because she has that food. Then I'm only hurting our relationship, and it's not her fault she has that food and can eat it. It wasn't her choice for me to eat the way I do. Sometimes I want to blame her, but it's me. It's like my brain shuts off and then I can't think until the next day. She even says,"I know you can't have this and she doesn't try to push it in my face or ask me if I want any." I think it's the 'can't' have any that makes me want it.
So how does someone come out of a funk like that? I mean how do you handle your eating when it comes to foods and emotions and hormone levels?
I already work-out twice a day.... So it's not a matter of working out again when I get that craving. It's hormonal, and usually later by dinner time. I have been stocking the fridge with cucumbers and lettuce for fillers when I think I'm hungry.. I just don't get it. I think from personal experience when I hit that level of eating when I'm hungry I'm like screw it I my as well eat more... In the past I have then relied on bulemia. Knowing now I can't do that is very frustrating to me. The other extreme is anorexia. I used to wake up one day and just look at myself and decide I'm not going to eat until I look better. So I would go on some crazy calore deficient program dividing my 800 calories up over 5 meals and run twice a day for a few hours, and lift weights for like 30 minutes, do aerobics class for an hour (sometimes 2 classes), and some days play a game of softball or 2, and maybe some golf. Yeah I would see the weight coming off but after about 2 months when I started 'looking' good I would cave in because noone can stay at that low of calories. Then I was at bulemia again.
Now I eat well you guys see what I eat and what I look like. It's just hard to overcome that nagging little guy in the back of the head saying do this, or do that. I definitely notice the eating tendencies when I'm stressed or under a lot of pressure. Now that school is over I will be under less stress hopefully and things will be a bit easier with the food. It's just very frustrating in my head when I know A) Anorexia, B) Bulemia, C) eating more food are not the answers to my problem. I think yoga and meditation are the things that have helped keep my head on straight in the past when it came to this, as well as getting outside and gettihg some fresh air for recharging. Also, when I'm not obsessed with looking in the mirror and picking myself apart. Pictures are good so you can see progress but lately it's like I don't even want to look for fear of what that might spiral into.
What do you all do?

 

[Sassy69]

I'm afraid I could never actually be anorexic / bulemic -- lmao -- i've had the thoughts - wish I could. But then I start getting hungry & just say "fuk it". Only time I've 'stopped' eating was after a couple extremely traumatic break-ups. Otherwise, I tend to stress eat. I just deal w/ it tho. Over the stress of the last six months & burn out from comeptition dieting last yr, I just stopped worrying about it & ate what I wanted. Not adding the addiitional guilt of "omg I ate and i shouldn't but I did, omG!".

I just deal w/ things a lot better now. Very hard for me to get really worked up about stuff because tehre are so many other things that are more important. But its still all about getting a consistent, even-keel lifestyle going. Right now I have none of that, so I'm just doing what I can.

BTW, just because you finish school doesn't mean the stress ends

 

[treilin]

I'm afraid I could never actually be anorexic / bulemic -- lmao -- i've had the thoughts - wish I could. But then I start getting hungry & just say "fuk it". Only time I've 'stopped' eating was after a couple extremely traumatic break-ups. Otherwise, I tend to stress eat. I just deal w/ it tho. Over the stress of the last six months & burn out from comeptition dieting last yr, I just stopped worrying about it & ate what I wanted. Not adding the addiitional guilt of "omg I ate and i shouldn't but I did, omG!".

I just deal w/ things a lot better now. Very hard for me to get really worked up about stuff because tehre are so many other things that are more important. But its still all about getting a consistent, even-keel lifestyle going. Right now I have none of that, so I'm just doing what I can.

BTW, just because you finish school doesn't mean the stress ends

Your right I know the stress doesn't end... It jsut gets alleviated for a little bit until something else comes up!

 

[Sassy69]

LOL I don't even think it becomes alleviated -- just takes different forms.

 

[treilin]

LOL I don't even think it becomes alleviated -- just takes different forms.

Yup like that evil chocolate cake calling me from next door saying "eat me!" If it wasn't for someone's promotion I would step on it