What should I do? I am so fucking confused right now.

[DannoMight]

Sounds like my brother .He claims that he is on soboxen(sp) now for his heroin issues. However, he is always driving out to the other city every week claims he needs to go buy his meds, not to mention he is never where he says he will be, he doesn't look too messed up most off the time, but still.You never can know for 100% sure and it sucks!

What dosen't help me is that some of our friends will call me and tell me they seen him and his girl and they were totally wasted. They'll tell me how his girl can't stay awake and keeps falling in and out of conciousness. Or that he had huge dark black circles uner his eyes. Or after he got out of jail he was at one of our friends houses and was digging in his pocket and dropped three oxys out of his pocket but was claiming they were for someone else. Shit just the other day a friend told me how he suddenly stopped by and was all wacked with gf and his brother and 2 other people that were sober and actually scared to be in the vehicle with him driving cause he was so messed up.

 

[jnevin]

The only reason he'd come to me is for money and that'll never happen. I am not gonna support their habits/addictions

I mean if he just needs someone when he's ready or thinks he is. When my whole drinking thing came to a head for me, I went to one of my friends that had stopped calling and had clearly been frustrated with me because he could see what was happening when I couldn't. He just sat there and listened, didn't judge me, and was completely supportive. Nothing in the world could have meant more to me or helped me out at the time.

 

[tdringo]

I just did. She doesn't wanna be the one to turn him in. I told her that I would. I don't wanna see him dead which is where he will be, SOON at the rate hes going.

Did I mention that my sister and my oldest nephew are hooked too? Just not as bad as my godchild. This sucks. My godchild has a 3 year old son and my oldest nephew has a 5 month old. Poor fucking kids. Man, I wish I could go get all the lil ones and fuck the rest. Let them live with their drugs and drug dealing. Its gonna be one of the innocent ones that will end up hurt or dead.

Sorry to here of your families situation, I have to agree with the "you can't help someone who doesn't want it." advice. But if you truly think the lives of those children are in danger then talk to your state DHS (Department of human services) or what ever child welfare dept. you have in your state. In almost all cases they will keep your identity gaurded. If these people love their kids it might force them to take a harder look at themselves with the prospect of losing their parental rights. If you can't save the adults mabey you can save the kids. It is a very tough choice as to get involved or not in these situations and I hope all goes well for you and your family.

 

[feisty11975]

lol what drugs you guys are probably overreacting like fucking crazy, typical whiney women.

for real though, offer him your vag

sub- we are talking oxy's, x, crack, xannies, whatever they can get their hands on..both to sell and to use. not just weed.

 

[Cutiebaby]

What dosen't help me is that some of our friends will call me and tell me they seen him and his girl and they were totally wasted. They'll tell me how his girl can't stay awake and keeps falling in and out of conciousness. Or that he had huge dark black circles uner his eyes. Or after he got out of jail he was at one of our friends houses and was digging in his pocket and dropped three oxys out of his pocket but was claiming they were for someone else. Shit just the other day a friend told me how he suddenly stopped by and was all wacked with gf and his brother and 2 other people that were sober and actually scared to be in the vehicle with him driving cause he was so messed up.

damn, that sucks...
Yeah, I know almost everyone i meet or what not know my brother.."he is that junkie that deals"......Pretty nice huh!

 

[feisty11975]

damn, that sucks...
Yeah, I know almost everyone i meet or what not know my brother.."he is that junkie that deals"......Pretty nice huh!

I cut off all contact with that side of my family over a year ago. I know when my phone rings and its her, she wants something. Today, she wanted an ear tomorrow it'll be money for her light bill.

 

[AAP]

Fuck this "in God's hands" shit. That is just a cop-out. People leave it up to God because they are hesitant to get involved. Well we all know how much attention God pays to his followers, so why should he pay more attention to those that don't?

You want to visit him in jail or you want to visit him in the morgue? That is the future. Oh, no one knows how long it will take before that conclusion is reached, but it will come.

It is true that you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but you can plant the seed in their heads that they need help. Unfortunately, it isn't they don't want help.. it is that they don't want the embarrassment of asking. And their ego won't allow them. Rather than starting new from zero and building their life back up, it is just easier to coast along at zero day to day.

Most people never even reach the bottom. They end up dead before they hit it.

Also you have to take into consideration that if he does get help and cleans himself up, the environment that he is coming back to is drug infested and will surely claim him again. it is better if they all do it at one time together.

I wish there was a proven success formula of Step 1, Step 2, etc.. that I could give you. But there isn't. All you can do is what you can do. Trying is the most effort you are capable of producing and no one can begrudge you that. Not even yourself when you end up at the funeral kicking yourself for not have trying to help in the past. Sometimes you don't try to help them for their benefit but for your benefit. Just knowing you did your best to make a difference and gave an honest heartfelt attempt to get him on the road to recovery is what you need to accept the outcome in your own heart.

I know a lady in her mid 30's hooked on Oxy. Lives with her mother. Has no job, no desire to get a job. Has no hobbies, no friends, no interests. I look at her and all I see is a shell of a person. Someone who wakes up each day only because they have to in order wait the rest of the time their lives have out. They are living just to die. Their lives have no other purpose. They will leave nothing behind. One day they will just be gone.

And no one will really care.

 

[heatherrae]

sub- we are talking oxy's, x, crack, xannies, whatever they can get their hands on..both to sell and to use. not just weed.

Oxy's are bad in eastern Ky. My little sis is only 25 and by the time she had turned 20, she had lost 4 friends to oxycontin. One is permanently a vegtable and lives in a nursing home, the other 3 are dead.

 

[feisty11975]

Fuck this "in God's hands" shit. That is just a cop-out. People leave it up to God because they are hesitant to get involved. Well we all know how much attention God pays to his followers, so why should he pay more attention to those that don't?

You want to visit him in jail or you want to visit him in the morgue? That is the future. Oh, no one knows how long it will take before that conclusion is reached, but it will come.

It is true that you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but you can plant the seed in their heads that they need help. Unfortunately, it isn't they don't want help.. it is that they don't want the embarrassment of asking. And their ego won't allow them. Rather than starting new from zero and building their life back up, it is just easier to coast along at zero day to day.

Most people never even reach the bottom. They end up dead before they hit it.

Also you have to take into consideration that if he does get help and cleans himself up, the environment that he is coming back to is drug infested and will surely claim him again. it is better if they all do it at one time together.

I wish there was a proven success formula of Step 1, Step 2, etc.. that I could give you. But there isn't. All you can do is what you can do. Trying is the most effort you are capable of producing and no one can begrudge you that. Not even yourself when you end up at the funeral kicking yourself for not have trying to help in the past. Sometimes you don't try to help them for their benefit but for your benefit. Just knowing you did your best to make a difference and gave an honest heartfelt attempt to get him on the road to recovery is what you need to accept the outcome in your own heart.

I know a lady in her mid 30's hooked on Oxy. Lives with her mother. Has no job, no desire to get a job. Has no hobbies, no friends, no interests. I look at her and all I see is a shell of a person. Someone who wakes up each day only because they have to in order wait the rest of the time their lives have out. They are living just to die. Their lives have no other purpose. They will leave nothing behind. One day they will just be gone.

And no one will really care.

Thank you very much for that AAP!

Feeling helpless sucks!

 

[nefertiti]

Fuck this "in God's hands" shit. That is just a cop-out. People leave it up to God because they are hesitant to get involved. Well we all know how much attention God pays to his followers, so why should he pay more attention to those that don't?

You want to visit him in jail or you want to visit him in the morgue? That is the future. Oh, no one knows how long it will take before that conclusion is reached, but it will come.

It is true that you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but you can plant the seed in their heads that they need help. Unfortunately, it isn't they don't want help.. it is that they don't want the embarrassment of asking. And their ego won't allow them. Rather than starting new from zero and building their life back up, it is just easier to coast along at zero day to day.

Most people never even reach the bottom. They end up dead before they hit it.

Also you have to take into consideration that if he does get help and cleans himself up, the environment that he is coming back to is drug infested and will surely claim him again. it is better if they all do it at one time together.

I wish there was a proven success formula of Step 1, Step 2, etc.. that I could give you. But there isn't. All you can do is what you can do. Trying is the most effort you are capable of producing and no one can begrudge you that. Not even yourself when you end up at the funeral kicking yourself for not have trying to help in the past. Sometimes you don't try to help them for their benefit but for your benefit. Just knowing you did your best to make a difference and gave an honest heartfelt attempt to get him on the road to recovery is what you need to accept the outcome in your own heart.

I know a lady in her mid 30's hooked on Oxy. Lives with her mother. Has no job, no desire to get a job. Has no hobbies, no friends, no interests. I look at her and all I see is a shell of a person. Someone who wakes up each day only because they have to in order wait the rest of the time their lives have out. They are living just to die. Their lives have no other purpose. They will leave nothing behind. One day they will just be gone.

And no one will really care.

You think we didn't do everything we could to knock some sense into my sister? Believe me, we did. She didn't want help, not at that point. She just wanted drugs. Badly enough to essentially abandon her son for it. And yes, I told her that if she tried to take him back before we as a family had deemed she was clean and recovering, that I'd call social services on her.

I think what people are trying to say here isn't that you shouldn't try to help. What they - or at least I am saying is - you can't FORCE help on someone. You can let them know you love them. You can offer what you are able to offer in terms of help. You can get mad, scream, throw shit, etc but you can't save a person unless they want to be saved.