You say that you can't have any connection with being slim. I don't quite understand that statement. Is it a thing where you constantly look in the mirror and are unhappy with what you see? B/c if it is than that would motivate me and it does. But bottom line is that i am making progress.
Guys, let me try to explain this to you so you CAN understand it. My attitude these days is MY BEST FRIEND.
Concern about slimness, body fat, and looks HASN'T HELPED ME, *EVER.*
It HASN'T HELPED me that no matter who a person is, what else a person has done in his or her life, what kind of person they are, it's somehow less if they aren't slim. You could discover the cure for cancer, but somehow it just isn't as legitimate if you aren't the socially prescribed shape and size.
I am not going to make myself miserable by making this a "have-to-be-thin-or-else-I-will-hate-myself" goal in my life EVER AGAIN. It HASN'T HELPED me get thin!!!!!
All this self abuse HASN'T MADE ME THIN in the past TEN YEARS. Why would hating myself some more help out somehow in the future?? If I continued on this way, and it still didn't make me thin, I'd want to kill myself, and I don't want to go there. Why stick with a motivation for myself that makes me want to kill myself rather than exercise??
What we are arguing about, my friends, is what sort of attitude facilitates healthy change.
And we are arguing about: What IS healthy change?
Regarding the second question: I see some attitudes here that seem to say that Low Body Fat is the most important measure of health, and no matter what other ways your body changes, if you don't have X body fat, you might as well go out and shoot yourself, because you haven't done anything at all.
I respectfully disagree with that. And no, that doesn't mean that I believe everyone should weigh 300 lbs. It means that, even if you haven't taken off enough fat to look whatever way, if you have lost some of what you started with, intake healthier food, and put on muscle and gain stamina, you are light years better off than if you did NOTHING.
Regarding the first question: Why does motivation have to be the same for all people? People are not all the same (no matter how much certain of you might wish they were.)
When I had my heart set on being thin, I couldn't sustain ANY motivation to exercise or eat well. Nothing I did seemed good enough. I was a perpetual failure,
and I WAS thin!!! I only weighed 135 lbs, and I wore a size 8! But, because my heart was set on how much body fat I had where, how I looked, and what size I wore, I was STILL, in my own mind, a complete failure as a human being. It didn't matter what other gains I made, how I did in school, what the rest of my life was like, if I didn't look what I thought was thin enough, I hated myself, I berated myself, I put myself down as mercilessly as you are now.
Please pay attention: That didn't help ME continue any sort of program at ALL. All it helped ME do was QUIT. And what happened as a result??? *points to screen name*
Now I AM eating better, and I am exercising five days a week, and I actually LIKE weights!! If all I had cared about was Losing The Fat and Becoming Thin, I WOULD HAVE QUIT BY NOW.
But that was the old me. Because I *no longer care* about this many inches and that size pants, I can focus on all the other benefits, which I *can* see, AND THAT IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING.
If what you want is for people to exercise and eat better, WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH THE ATTITUDE THAT HAS KEPT ME GOING??? Because if I thought like you people, I would be all depressed by now, "lying on the sofa and stuffing my 'piehole.' " I would have quit, because I don't LOOK any thinner.
Instead I say to myself, "I can DO two sets of this now!! When I started I couldn't even lift the thing three times!! I can DO thirty leg lifts now!! When I started I couldn't even do three!!" And THAT keeps me *excited* and *wanting to do more,* and get better. If I continue on in this mindset, and I enjoy what I am doing, and I move up to more and more weight because I'm *proud* that *I can do it,* and I build more muscle ... Hmm, maybe it won't be such a "barrier," after all.
Don't destroy that sort of mindset by telling someone like me, "Sorry, hon. If you don't lose X body fat, NONE of it matters!!!"
(After all, if I quit AGAIN, I really would be addin' to your health insurance costs, now, wouldn't I???
)
I am NOT MOTIVATED by a need/desire to lose fat and look thin. That isn't what WORKS to get me out there and keep me moving. It hasn't WORKED my entire life, and it never will.
Because "I hate myself unless I am thin," really is just shorthand for "I hate myself," period.
That attitude keeps ME sad, stuck, and depressed, and that is what makes me give up on myself, lay down, and eat. Maybe it motivates you, but it doesn't motivate me.
Let me say that again. Maybe that sort of punitive mindset motivates YOU, but it doesn't motivate ME.
You are like the wife who nags her husband to do the dishes and then stands over him while he washes and critiques. If you want me to eat better, work out, and be healthier, you cannot prescribe for me how to motivate myself. I am me, I obviously think differently from you, and I have to motivate myself MY way. I know this from long and *painful* experience.
The people over at NAAFA are trying to find some sort of respect for themselves. If that is going to motivate them to take better care of themselves, maybe you shouldn't argue. After all, piddling concerns about compassion for your fellow man aside, it IS your health insurance rates ...
There are some people who are never going to take better care of themselves if told nothing but, "You're nothing if you're not THIN." If you can't get your mind around how different people motivate themselves differently, you are part of the problem.
Now.
YOU ARE STILL BLAMING THE MEDIA.
Why else are millions of people still doin' it the same old way?? Because they already think they're doing things right. If you think you're on the program that's supposed to work, and you blame YOURSELF because it doesn't, where is the impetus to go lookin'?
I was indoctrinated into the code of Prevention Magazine when I was a CHILD. Most girls are. Children are especially vulnerable to whatever information is out there. Isn't that a good reason to clean up the messages they hear?
Hoss, you're giving people way too much credit when you say they should know better. Sadly, most people are like sheep. I guess we really should make it as hard as it can possibly be for them, put whatever will make money out there for public consumption, and oh, well, if they have problems it's all their fault. Rolleyes, .gif!!!
Is it asking too much for society to help out even a little? I am not saying that the individual bears NO responsibility at all. But do we have to make it as hard as it can possibly be??? The media could SUPPORT people in taking better care of themselves, instead of working against them at every turn.
What? How do you define a BB physique? They are across the board.
They are???? I didn't know that. And I'm a newbie *here*. How can you expect the average lay person to know that?? They don't. They see people like Arnold, and they think that's all it's about.
I'd be interested to see what you are talking about.
IF you stick with a solid program like body for life for 6 months you'll notice enough improvement to keep you motivated to continue on.
I already AM motivated to continue on. I like doing it, and I like being able to do more. I don't have to look better, just feel better.
Another thing, if you want to get in shape and will accept the fact that you can do it then ignore and pretty much drop any fat friends you have - leave them as they will want to discourage you , whine, and spend their time shopping for big clothes, picketing Lane Bryant, watching Oprah, have "special" occasions 3-4x a week that justify eating huge amounts of shit and will be in shock if you don't schedule your life around bad TV shows..
Uh, no. This is TOTALLY not the case. I haven't said much on the NAAFA board about what I am doing, but if I did, the people there would be *very* supportive of me. We don't encourage each other to remain fat and get fatter. (Well, most of us ...
) But that board is specifically for problems in daily living we all face because we're fat. Even if you *are* trying, ya ain't gonna lose a hundred pounds overnight, and what do ya do in the meantime? That's the kind of board it is. It isn't for weight loss. Some of the folks there might be in weight loss programs, I know for sure a few that are. But that isn't the purpose of that board.
p0ink, I'm not even gonna reply. You did it AGAIN, and that's what brought me here in the first place. Aren't you tired of it yet??
And Virgin, there is no WAY I'm going to take hormones or resort to *surgery* like that JUST to get fat off. That shit can really mess you up if you don't know what you're doing, and sometimes even if you do! Plus I'd run the risk of losing my license and livelihood.
Surgery is something you do if you have cancer. It's something I was glad to escape because my emdometriosis, unlike thousands of other women's, doesn't warrant it. WHY THE HELL would anyone want to HAVE THEMSELVES CUT OPEN????????? Get real, bro.
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