The Entitlement Mentality; can the younger generations of poor help themselves?

[ledhead]

Would you say Asian parents are more authoritarian or authoritative in general? At least in generations past, it seems to me they were more authoritarian. Seems to have worked well for them for many generations. Of course as they become more westernized it will probably cease to work as well as the kids feel they may actually have a choice to rebel. lol.

-oh, maybe 75th will chime in on this...being an Asian, and an expert on everything.

I would say traditionally Asian parents are more authoritarian because that goes with their culture, but if they been Americanized probably not so much.

 

[javaguru]

I think being raised on a farm where there's always work to do and everyone has a job helps a lot. Kids on farms start working at a very young age doing something. That helps them learn responsibility and that they are expected to work in order to earn their keep.

Maybe more suburban parents should send their kids to "farm camps"?

Just make them have responsibilities. My brother was raised like me and his son, my nephew, is so entitled it's disgusting. He has all the latest Apple products while my brother works two jobs to support the family. He's also a discipline problem at school and home even though he's smart and gets good grades.

It's the lack of personal responsibility...the simple idea of working for what you get...I would roll out of bed at 6:00 AM for two a day football practices and when I was released I would go bail hay until dark for 2.00 an hour...under the table. I also got a nice allowance of $40.00 a week that I spent on games but other than that my parents gave me food, shelter, and the cheapest clothes my mother could find...lol...

 

[cindylou]

My parents didn't believe in an allowance.

 

[nangiggles]

My parents didn't believe in an allowance.

neither did mine, most parents give allowances for no good reason or for chores, my parents said those chores were our responsibility and our way of cooperating with the family, when we did want to by something they'd usually buy it for us depending on whether or not we "cooperate" lol

The problem with rewarding kids with money is that entitlement, they want more, they feel like it's theirs and they deserve it every time they do certain things, my cognitive behaviorism techer in college told us that his father always sued the same reinforcement throughout their childhood and teens, which was pizza, you get a good report card? it's pizza day, you graduate and let's go for pizza, never the same pizza, they went to dif places (and no he wasnt a fatty) says he remembers working hard to "earn" that pizza when you use a same reinforcement method that cant increase (as opposed to money and gifts) then kids dont feel that entitlement... and of course there's positive reinforcement through other non-material things that are good as well... money works for some, just not for most....

 

[-SD-]

Pizza reinforces being a fatbody it would seem

 

[75th]

I remember when I was 13 or so my parents sat my brothers and I down and asked us whether we continued wanting allowance for chores or if we preferred no allowance and they would simply buy us things we wanted periodically. We all opted for the former. We turned out fine (I think), but I personally believe it had more to do with our situation as a whole. My parents were in debt* up to the point where they considered filing bankruptcy (my dad worked in finance so they decided not to...would have impacted/threatened his job) so aside from the essentials (clothes and school) we were kinda forced to buy our own things. We all started working at 12 or 13 so that by the time we were 15 we could get a cheap ass car and pay for our own insurance/gas. I remember my grandma (who is well off) offered to buy each of us a car when we came of age, but my dad refused consistently, would always make sure birthday/christmas presents didnt exceed $100 in value, etc.

So yeah, it extends way past allowance imo. Even if, Allah willing, I am wealthy by the time I have kids I plan on treating them the same way.

*When we moved from LA to Hawaii, we kept our house in Northridge and rented it out. Got fugged up by the earthquake. Couldnt rent it after that. Foreclosure, etc.

 

[-SD-]

Look at me, I walked up hill to school in the snow both ways

 

[75th]

Look at me, I walked up hill to school in the snow both ways

lol - not claiming it was anywhere near that bad.

My mom got a job as a secretary at a private school so my older bro and I got in for free, whereas my 2 younger brothers got 50% off tuition (one of them got kicked out for teh pot fogging so that saved us some cash).

 

[-SD-]

lol - not claiming it was anywhere near that bad.

My mom got a job as a secretary at a private school so my older bro and I got in for free, whereas my 2 younger brothers got 50% off tuition (one of them got kicked out for teh pot fogging so that saved us some cash).

Look at me, I went to private school.

JK rob, fogg for teh win btw

 

[75th]

Naturally my mom was a tad embarrassed when all that went down.