You bitches are sick in the head. There is nothing erotic about someone squirting out body fluids on your sheets/furniture/car seats/polar bear rug/track lighting (don't ask).
What do you do when that happens? Try to act pleased? "oooh look at you... was it good? did you get over excited?"
And you girls... what do you do when it happens? Try to act natural? Go "oopsie... I guess you turn me on too much" <-- typical female lying
Oh man... I so don't play that shit. Because :
#1 It ain't funny.
#2 By the time I get them in the bed I have already their cash out of their wallets and if they do that squirty squirt thing and I ain't lifted enough $$$ to pay the cleaning costs... their ass in trouble.
I'd be all like "Oh hell!! WTF?? Whoa. Whoa. WHOAAAAA!!!! Oh shit. Stop it. Make it stop. What the hell you doing? Here put your hand down there... catch that shit. Oh fuck where's a cork? Or a shot glass? Or a shoe. Yeah a shoe.. hang on let me get your shoe... oh fuck what a time for you to pick open toe shoes. Oh bitch look at that shit. What? What did you just say? Whoawhoawhoa... hang on a minute there. You've done this before? You like, knew this would happen? And. You. Did. It. Anyway??? oh hell no this bitch is dead.