Split up with the lady, now a hot blond wants me to spend the night.... advice?

[badazzwhitedude]

It's very hard bro.' I was seeing an absolutely stunning blonde myself, up until last month. I cared for her very very much. But much of the same stuff that is happeneing with you started happening with us. Unfortunately, it didn't work out with us.

 

[FreakMonster]

BBV, What's the update on the whole situation?

 

[Big Brother Val]

Freshr1.... Nah... I opted not to go that route over the weekend. She said she had a friend who wanted to be "trained" as well. So essentially I had a chance at a two on one on Saturday night. But fortunately, my lady asked me out. She wanted to go to dinner, and talk. It went pretty well.

Badazzwhitedude.... I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. It's a very hard situation to be in.

FreakMonster... as far as what's happening... we went to dinner on Saturday, and talked about stuff. She was more open than normal. On Sunday, she asked me to take her shopping. She got some extraordinarily skimpy things to wear for me around the house... and got some things to wear to work, that are very conservative. Button up shirts to wear under her jackets/sweaters that she wears to work, rather than the REALLY tight shirts she'd normally wear. More of a Dockers style pants, rather than the tight skirts/pants she wore. She even went as far as throwing away some of the really tight stuff that I've grown to hate.

This is either good... or bad. She's either begun to understand... or will simply resent me for "forcing" this on her.

I was going to buy another batch of Fina with my extra money, but spend $280 on her clothes yesterday. But if it means she's going to be more conservative for the public, and save her body for me.... then the Fina can wait.

 

[Big Brother Val]

And also... I still have a picture to post... I just don't have a scanner. Neither do my chums. I think we're the only group of people left in the country without one. I'll have to go to Kinko's or something. I gave my computer to my mother when she lost her job, so I have to go up there to even load it.... so it will be posted... I just have to get the time, and access to the scanner.

 

[hardbdygrl]

BBV

i feel so bad for you,,,,,,,you sound so unhappy,,,,,,,,,,,you are sacrificing things that you shouldn't have to be doing

ur girl makes me soooooo mad the way shes treating you

 

[bigwillster]

Dude, I got hard just hearing about your lady. She sounds hot but maybe her self-confidence got a little too high because of her body. You encouraged her to get in shape & now she trying do you wrong...thats fucked up. Like everyone says pretend like you're ok about this and just happen to mention the other chick that wants you. She'll be begging soon. Do not give her any attention. Just make it seem like your happy for her. Good luck!!

 

[badazzwhitedude]

BBV

i feel so bad for you,,,,,,,you sound so unhappy,,,,,,,,,,,you are sacrificing things that you shouldn't have to be doing

ur girl makes me soooooo mad the way shes treating you

Many tend to do that. Everytime I have been with someone, I have always did my best to make things easy. Too bad they all have to make things so god damn difficult.

BBV, good to see that things are getting better for you man. I hope it's the right decision.

 

[Big Brother Val]

HBG... it's odd... a lady who doesn't know me says more encouraging things to me than the gal who says she'd marry me tomorrow.

BigWillster... yeah... she's fantastic. I'm trying REALLY hard to not show how much I dig her. But it's really hard to do. If I feel something for someone, I express it. It's just how I am. Be it anger, hate, love, fear, you name it. Usually it's anger... but with her, it's very hard for me to turn my head, and act ultra-confident... when I fear she'd leave me for anyone... I'm just not sure what anyone else could give her. Worship her body? I already do. Attention? I give her enough to choke a camel. So who knows.

BAWD.... thanks. I can't tell if it's the right decision yet either. It's a bad sign that I have this feeling of impending doom... but hey... I won't give any more room for her to screw up. I'm trying to be a little distant. Not give as much, or say as much. And I'm trying not to show what she does bugs me. But... I don't know how long any of it will last.

Maybe another cycle or two from now, when my arms near 20 inches... she'll view my physique the same way I do hers... and let me know it.

It's not just about the body... far from it. Don't get me wrong. But man... I kick my ass every day. In the gym, and in the ring. She's the only lady I want to impress... and she's the only one I feel I don't.

Oh well. Sorry about all the bitchin', everyone. This really isn't my way. I just feel like I'm losing someone I love more than anything. Like she's dying of cancer... and I don't have the cure. I hate feeling helpless. Thank you all for the support.

 

[RealDeal]

BBV - hey bro, glad to hear your lady at least talked to you about some of this over the weekend. Hopefully you two were able to communicate enough that she'll realize you're not forcing anything on her; that you do care about her and that over the past weeks or months you've felt like she no longer gave a rat's ass about you and was only concerned with showing off her goods (though in a more tactful manner).

You'd think that her buying conservative clothes for work, tossing out some of the skimpy shit you hate, yet buying new skimpy stuff to wear for you at home would tell you that she's sersiously thinking about what you've been trying to tell her. At least I know you're hoping & praying that's her reason. I see where your skepticism, or worry, on that issue still remains. Has she told you that she understands where you're coming from and knows that you have the best of intentions, even if she's viewed it as "you have no right..."?

Your cancer analogy isn't really the best. I understand what you're trying to say, but someone with cancer is sick and it's difficult to heal. What you're going through is watching someone you love kill themself and your relationship. Regardless, it's still painful to watch and know there's not much, if anything, that you can do to stop it. I feel like you've done all you can or anyone would expect you to...the ball is in her court now. She has to make a choice. If you "loose" her, it's because she didn't know what she had...not because you didn't do or give enough.

Just try to keep it all in perspective while the road is still rocky. Hopefully things will continue to improve with her, but don't let yourself be walked over. If the problems persist and she continues to place this wall between the two of you, walk away. No person, regardless of how much you love them, is worth your misery...especially if they're the cause of it (this excludes a person's children).

Good luck bro.

 

[Big Brother Val]

True, cancer isn't something someone chooses to have. I just feel helpless in the fact that I can't change anything. It's beyond my control.

I won't let her stomp me into the ground anymore. And you're absolutely right about hoping that this is the beginning of what I've been waiting for. I hope a light turned on in her head, and even if just for a moment, she realized what I'm saying. And that I'm not trying to be an asshole, but it's all done out of love for her.

I never said a word about the other gal... and as far as I'm concerned, the new gal can drop off the face of the Earth. I'm not interested in seein' a chick just for the sake of attention. That would mean I myself will do what I absolutely detest my lady doing. And that isn't right. I do practice what I preach. I dress conservatively. I don't show it off... I don't flirt... I don't want attention, and I sure don't care about impressing anyone but her.

If a lady on this board tells me I look good, I take it as a compliment... not that she wants to take me to bed. Even if a gal did, it's not the normal mindset for a lady to have.

Thanks again for taking the time to write, RealDeal. You really have a good understanding of what's going on.