Question for the ladies, definition of a MAN?

[Griz1]

Sas, Jens

Geez girls, I think your bar is set a little high! You may as well just write
Definition of a man = "perfect"

I mean hell I could easily put that same definition to the definition of a "real woman". But I seriously doubt I would ever find one that fits that and I've always been labeled as very "picky" when it comes to women. Hell, even if I was gay, I'd never expect to find someone that perfect. Someone said "Nobody wants to date a Ken Doll" but you've essentially described one (encapsulated in the personality as well as body to a lesser degree).

I would read it more as a "wish list" where a man would have a tendancy to fall into those categories, but where's the "human" factor? What about faults, lapses in judgement, etc.

I think that it's more the way you gals need to "see they guy" rather than how he actually is. I mean the MOST admirable PERSON I have ever met doesn't even match ALL those criteria certainly never 100% of the time.

Don't read this as if I'm being a prick, or tryin to start a fight. I'm just saying that even if SOME women met a guy who actually did live up to this definition, they'd likely treat him like shit anyway and blow it. Perfect IS boring wouldn't you think?

I DO hope everyone finds a partner that matches that criteria though (and doesn't find it boring). I guess it's what we're all striving for isn't it?

I'd have to say that if a guy is a good person, true to himself, and treats you with admiration and respect that would be enough to accept his faults or failings (assuming mutal attraction, love, etc.).

Needs to be intelligent, responsible, sense of humor, sense of self, awareness of othes, respect for others and himself, love of his mother/father, be able to communicate. Physically speaking, must respect his own body, (for me) must have some shape & discipline in his maintenance of his body, habits & hygiene. As far as ups & downs, be able to discuss issues, share in decisions, be open to interesting / creative solutions, agree to disagree when appropriate & not carry grudges. Revel in the good times, appreciate & learn from the bad times and remember them relative to the good times.

Also helps if he has a job, meets his obligations, has his own house (i.e. doesn't live w/ parents or weird pothead friend from college) has his own car w/ air conditioning (i.e. doesn't want to drive mine). Also appreciated if he keeps a well-maintained lawn "down below".

 

[H-isBack]

Sas, Jens

Geez girls, I think your bar is set a little high! You may as well just write
Definition of a man = "perfect"

I mean hell I could easily put that same definition to the definition of a "real woman". But I seriously doubt I would ever find one that fits that and I've always been labeled as very "picky" when it comes to women. Hell, even if I was gay, I'd never expect to find someone that perfect. Someone said "Nobody wants to date a Ken Doll" but you've essentially described one (encapsulated in the personality as well as body to a lesser degree).

I would read it more as a "wish list" where a man would have a tendancy to fall into those categories, but where's the "human" factor? What about faults, lapses in judgement, etc.

I think that it's more the way you gals need to "see they guy" rather than how he actually is. I mean the MOST admirable PERSON I have ever met doesn't even match ALL those criteria certainly never 100% of the time.

Don't read this as if I'm being a prick, or tryin to start a fight. I'm just saying that even if SOME women met a guy who actually did live up to this definition, they'd likely treat him like shit anyway and blow it. Perfect IS boring wouldn't you think?

I DO hope everyone finds a partner that matches that criteria though (and doesn't find it boring). I guess it's what we're all striving for isn't it?

I'd have to say that if a guy is a good person, true to himself, and treats you with admiration and respect that would be enough to accept his faults or failings (assuming mutal attraction, love, etc.).

HEY! PISS OFF!! I was asking the girls, your comments are not required here, leave it, pm me if you like but i want some real discussion here not your EGOTEST, okay!


H

 

[jenscats5]

Sas, Jens

Geez girls, I think your bar is set a little high! You may as well just write
Definition of a man = "perfect"

I mean hell I could easily put that same definition to the definition of a "real woman". But I seriously doubt I would ever find one that fits that and I've always been labeled as very "picky" when it comes to women. Hell, even if I was gay, I'd never expect to find someone that perfect. Someone said "Nobody wants to date a Ken Doll" but you've essentially described one (encapsulated in the personality as well as body to a lesser degree).

I would read it more as a "wish list" where a man would have a tendancy to fall into those categories, but where's the "human" factor? What about faults, lapses in judgement, etc.

I think that it's more the way you gals need to "see they guy" rather than how he actually is. I mean the MOST admirable PERSON I have ever met doesn't even match ALL those criteria certainly never 100% of the time.

Don't read this as if I'm being a prick, or tryin to start a fight. I'm just saying that even if SOME women met a guy who actually did live up to this definition, they'd likely treat him like shit anyway and blow it. Perfect IS boring wouldn't you think?

I DO hope everyone finds a partner that matches that criteria though (and doesn't find it boring). I guess it's what we're all striving for isn't it?

I'd have to say that if a guy is a good person, true to himself, and treats you with admiration and respect that would be enough to accept his faults or failings (assuming mutal attraction, love, etc.).

Well, you could look at it that way or you could look at it as fear or a shortcoming on your part. (not intended as a flame)

How do you know that I don't think my hubby fits these criteria, even with his failings??

And being a responsible, intelligent, caring person is not striving for the ever-unattainable, negative connotation of "perfect." "Perfect" is to some what "normal" is to others -- different....

 

[GiaDona]

Definition of a "man."

Strong yet sensitive. And this is harder then the cliche insinuates.

Strong as in I feel safe with you. I feel that you got my back. Sensitive as in sensitive to my feelings, to my needs, discuss emotions. Sensitive as in knowing yourself. Looking inside yourself. Exploring yourself--the good and the bad. Always looking to improve yourself yet confident as well.

Strong enuff to take care of me, strong enuff to take care of himself. Strong enuff to let me take care of him, and---strong enuff to not be threatened that I can take care of myself.

Intellectual and worldy--with something to say about the current state of this country, the world, economics, politics etc. With his own personal philosophy on life, perhaps some existential questions--these make for the best convos/debates. I def. second the fact that he must be secure enuff to have a good debate w/o getting defensive or threatened. Respect differeing beliefs, opinions. Open-minded.

Maybe most importantly--strong enuff to at times show that he's weak. And allow for help from others to feel strong again.

 

[jenscats5]

Definition of a "man."

Strong yet sensitive. And this is harder then the cliche insinuates.

Strong as in I feel safe with you. I feel that you got my back. Sensitive as in sensitive to my feelings, to my needs, discuss emotions. Sensitive as in knowing yourself. Looking inside yourself. Exploring yourself--the good and the bad. Always looking to improve yourself yet confident as well.

Strong enuff to take care of me, strong enuff to take care of himself. Strong enuff to let me take care of him, and---strong enuff to not be threatened that I can take care of myself.

Intellectual and worldy--with something to say about the current state of this country, the world, economics, politics etc. With his own personal philosophy on life, perhaps some existential questions--these make for the best convos/debates. I def. second the fact that he must be secure enuff to have a good debate w/o getting defensive or threatened. Respect differeing beliefs, opinions. Open-minded.

Maybe most importantly--strong enuff to at times show that he's weak. And allow for help from others to feel strong again.

Good words........well said....

 

[velvett]

Needs to be intelligent, responsible, sense of humor, sense of self, awareness of othes, respect for others and himself, love of his mother/father, be able to communicate. Physically speaking, must respect his own body, (for me) must have some shape & discipline in his maintenance of his body, habits & hygiene. As far as ups & downs, be able to discuss issues, share in decisions, be open to interesting / creative solutions, agree to disagree when appropriate & not carry grudges. Revel in the good times, appreciate & learn from the bad times and remember them relative to the good times.

Also helps if he has a job, meets his obligations, has his own house (i.e. doesn't live w/ parents or weird pothead friend from college) has his own car w/ air conditioning (i.e. doesn't want to drive mine). Also appreciated if he keeps a well-maintained lawn "down below".

Works for me.

 

[Sassy69]

In lots more words I think I was basically saying the guy, just as any person really, needs to be responsible for himself, respect himself, respect others and be enough in control of himself that he thinks before resorting to the easiest emotions (e.g. throwing a tantrum, threatening violence). There's always moments when you just 'need' to do something like that, but for god's sake, don't be freekin stupid about it. This is basically the definition of "civilization". People learn how to communicate and how to deal w/ conflict - no one is perfect. But they need to be open enough to even consider learning new / better ways to deal with ups & downs. I don't think this is perfect, but its certainly something that I consider the requirements to be a "MAN". I have my own additional needs from a guy, but these are the things that enable a guy to fulfill my needs.

 

[FigureSkater]

This may sound superficial, but a guy also has to have a similar level of education (at least a 4 year degree). I'm planning on law school once I finish my masters in May. I can't date some guy who has never been to college and works at the mall (or some other job that doesn't require much education). Socially and intellectually, that puts us in completely different worlds.

That sounds very Miranda (Sex and the City), but it's true for a lot of women.

 

[Griz1]

HEY! PISS OFF!! I was asking the girls, your comments are not required here, leave it, pm me if you like but i want some real discussion here not your EGOTEST, okay!
H

First. YOU piss off kid! I have a right to post here.

You DO NOT own this thread! You DO NOT control the thread. If you post a thread, EXPECT alternate opinions. I never crapped on you, but I'm very close after your quoted post.

What I've proposed is actually 'honest discussion'. If you read it as a "egotest" then YOU are the idiot, not me.

If you want to "talk to the ladies" in private then do through pm and don't be embarrassed when another guy reads your post. Christ, you have same damn post in another forum anyway! So quit flamin me!


Adressing Jenscat's response:

How is that one of my "shortcomings"? That I don't think I live up to that standard? Geez there's a catch 22, if I say I don't live up to that def-I have shortcomings. If I say i do-i'd be about 5 hat sizes larger! I never tried to fit myself into that mould that was proposed. I don't need to, cause there is no "mould" anyway.

I can however (and did) try to fit the rest of the folks I know into it (or at least how I see them). Which is what I was doing in my response.

I don't know your husband, never even knew you were married. He didn't, and doesn't enter into what I said.

All I am saying is that I question the broad and all encompassing nature of the definition. I think it is a wish list more than any reality.

My god the folks on this thread are touchy! I can't help but notice I attacked no one in my post, but the two replies either shit on me or tell me I have shortcomings in my personality.

So much for an open minded discussion!

Definition of a Woman men would actually want:

She needs to be intelligent, responsible, sense of humor, sense of self, awareness of othes, respect for others and herself, love of her mother/father, be able to communicate. Physically speaking, must respect her own body, (for me) must have some shape & discipline in her maintenance of her body, habits & hygiene. As far as ups & downs, be able to discuss issues, share in decisions, be open to interesting / creative solutions, agree to disagree when appropriate & not carry grudges. Revel in the good times, appreciate & learn from the bad times and remember them relative to the good times.

Also helps if she has a job, meets her obligations, has her own house (i.e. doesn't live w/ parents or weird ditzy girlfiriend from college) has her own car w/ air conditioning (i.e. doesn't want to drive mine). Also appreciated if she keeps a well-maintained lawn "down below".

Now that reads almost sexist to me. If the thread had started with that, I'd hazard a guess that there would be another "flavour" to this discussion.

 

[H-isBack]

First. YOU piss off kid! I have a right to post here.

You DO NOT own this thread! You DO NOT control the thread. If you post a thread, EXPECT alternate opinions. I never crapped on you, but I'm very close after your quoted post.

What I've proposed is actually 'honest discussion'. If you read it as a "egotest" then YOU are the idiot, not me.

If you want to "talk to the ladies" in private then do through pm and don't be embarrassed when another guy reads your post. Christ, you have same damn post in another forum anyway! So quit flamin me!


Adressing Jenscat's response:

How is that one of my "shortcomings"? That I don't think I live up to that standard? Geez there's a catch 22, if I say I don't live up to that def-I have shortcomings. If I say i do-i'd be about 5 hat sizes larger! I never tried to fit myself into that mould that was proposed. I don't need to, cause there is no "mould" anyway.

I can however (and did) try to fit the rest of the folks I know into it (or at least how I see them). Which is what I was doing in my response.

I don't know your husband, never even knew you were married. He didn't, and doesn't enter into what I said.

All I am saying is that I question the broad and all encompassing nature of the definition. I think it is a wish list more than any reality.

My god the folks on this thread are touchy! I can't help but notice I attacked no one in my post, but the two replies either shit on me or tell me I have shortcomings in my personality.

So much for an open minded discussion!

Definition of a Woman men would actually want:

She needs to be intelligent, responsible, sense of humor, sense of self, awareness of othes, respect for others and herself, love of her mother/father, be able to communicate. Physically speaking, must respect her own body, (for me) must have some shape & discipline in her maintenance of her body, habits & hygiene. As far as ups & downs, be able to discuss issues, share in decisions, be open to interesting / creative solutions, agree to disagree when appropriate & not carry grudges. Revel in the good times, appreciate & learn from the bad times and remember them relative to the good times.

Also helps if she has a job, meets her obligations, has her own house (i.e. doesn't live w/ parents or weird ditzy girlfiriend from college) has her own car w/ air conditioning (i.e. doesn't want to drive mine). Also appreciated if she keeps a well-maintained lawn "down below".

Now that reads almost sexist to me. If the thread had started with that, I'd hazard a guess that there would be another "flavour" to this discussion.

LOL I dint know Canadians had opinions arent you all AWOL descendents? i thought the Italians were bad but talk about fence sitting, and silence is all you get out of canada, how much have you lot dedicated to the tsunami disaster?? your a bunch of nonentities in the world forum, be quiet.

H