My intro to my in-favor-of "correction of intersexed children" essay.

[casavant]

The first words are good attention getters. Your use of quotation marks is OK with them, but I wouldn't use them on any of the words after that.

Interesting topic.

 

[casavant]

^

 

[HumorMe]

Is duel-gender spelled right?

Dual-gender maybe??

 

[Hoopsdaddy135]

“Aberrant”, “Anomaly”, “Freak”

Come on, leave HappyScrappy alone. It's been a long day, and it's not even his fault.

 

[Code]

Not sure what an "intersexed child" is, but it sounds like something HS suffered from as a youth.

 

[HumorMe]

I just need some honest opinions of my intro, and maybe suggestions of what I should change... Please, no bullshit in here... Thanks


“Aberrant”, “Anomaly”, “Freak” -- all negative terminology that represents society’s view on something that is not socially or physically acceptable. Society, for the most part, adheres to the standard “male” or “female” gender classification system. Most inter-sexed children who are born looking physically “different” from the rest of American society are teased, shunned, and placed into “sub-human” categories. This labeling and ridicule can create a hatred stemming from the “normal” duel-gender society, and it can create a self-hatred from the inter-sexed children. When a child is born with ambiguous genitalia, a doctor should correct the physical irregularity to prevent a possible or likely negative confrontation of a predominantly duel-gendered society.

Aberrant, Anomaly, and Freak are negative terminologies that reflect society's views and reactions to a rare genetic birth defect known as ******. While society typically identifies and accepts the standard male/female gender classification system, a ****** is neither physically nor socially accepted as either. This physical difference will almost always lead them to be placed in a sub-human category where they are ridiculed and teased as being abnormal. Labeling and ridiculing can create an atmosphere of hatred towards society and a self-hatred from ******. When a child with ambiguous genitalia is presented, necessary medical procedures should be started to correct this abnormality to prevent a likely negative confrontation from a dual-gendered society.


Is this the defect known as hermaphrodite?


I don't know if you will like my concept of your opening statement but at least I am the only one who isn't trying to be funny!

 

[Nathan]

You need a clearer thesis statement, such as:

Don't be hatin' on the hemaphrodites just cause they be sportin' both a wang and a puntang.

Somethng to that effect anyways. Also, you need to take advantage of the bunny ears more. Try putting every other word between bunny ears as a dramatic gesture for maximum effect. Finally, you need to use the word "fuck" more. Combining the last two suggestions you might use something like:

"Hemaphrodites" tend "to" have "fucking" huge "damn" cocks "as" well "as" the"mother" fucking "tastiest" fucking "vaginas" you "ever" did "the" fuck "see".

 

[HumorMe]

You need a clearer thesis statement, such as:

Don't be hatin' on the hemaphrodites just cause they be sportin' both a wang and a puntang.

Somethng to that effect anyways. Also, you need to take advantage of the bunny ears more. Try putting every other word between bunny ears as a dramatic gesture for maximum effect. Finally, you need to use the word "fuck" more. Combining the last two suggestions you might use something like:

"Hemaphrodites" tend "to" have "fucking" huge "damn" cocks "as" well "as" the"mother" fucking "tastiest" fucking "vaginas" you "ever" did "the" fuck "see".

You write with such elogance. I wish I could.

 

[the nature boy]

using quotes (or bunny ears) makes everying sound "important".

example:

I would like a "large" soda and a "rim-job".