FlyBrownChick
New member

Heya, Mermaid! Looks like you've been doing really well! NICE!
I hope you're having a good one!

Ooooh, this sounds like a plan!scorpiogirl said:
I had your V for you yesterday. Strawberry's soaked in it. Took them to my friends cookout. They went over VERY well! lol
Maybe we can have some of those in July!![]()

)Hey girl!mermaid said:Thanks ladies. I'll just keep going.....
And SG, don't you DARE mention vodka soaked strawberries while this log is alcohol free!!!!!![]()
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Day 44 Wednesday 31 May 2006
Meal 1 - 1 cup whites, 1 yolk
Meal 2 - 1 banana, 1oz almonds
Meal 3 - 5oz chicken, 4oz sweet potato
Meal 4 - 5oz chicken, 3oz sweet potato
Meal 5 - 1 oatmeal blueberry pancake, 1 tbsp almond butter
PM Cardio – 60 mins treadmill 4.0kph @ 15% incline
No weights
Calories - 1631
Protein - 161g 41%
Carbs - 139g 33%
Fat - 49g 26%
Fibre - 24g
A better day, not because things went well but because I had an attitude adjustment. Slept for shit and turned off alarm for AM cardio so an hour in the PM was required (three hours after fourth meal). AF Store shipment arrived - more Sesapure and Glucorell - very happy. Hump day over with, downhill slope for the weekend. Where does the time go?

Just droppin in - lookin awesome girl!!
15% incline = great work 
nelmsjer said:24 days have now passed since pics have been posted.
This has been a public service announcement by Nelmsjer.

nelmsjer said:24 days have now passed since pics have been posted.
This has been a public service announcement by Nelmsjer.

I'm working on one too!Roonytunes said:Yay for an attitude adjustment!I'm working on one too!






I hear that ...mermaid said:Well.
I'm not alcohol free anymore.
What was it? 40 something days. Yay![]()
![]()


mermaid said:Well.
I'm not alcohol free anymore.
What was it? 40 something days. Yay![]()
![]()
nelmsjer said:All I want to know is if you are doing ok, and if the next time you drink will be with IP and me.
![]()
Merm, be proud of your 40 days. That IS an accomplishment. I can't say I've gone that long myself.
ya, girl!mermaid said:Well.
I'm not alcohol free anymore.
What was it? 40 something days. Yay![]()
![]()

^^^^^jenscats5 said:40 days is GREAT!! Good job!!
Now just start over again.....![]()
WOHHHOOO 40 days great job girlie!!! Start over again... This time will be easier!jenscats5 said:40 days is GREAT!! Good job!!
Now just start over again.....![]()

from the ladies. I know, I have to see that the glass is half full not half empty.

'Scuseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee memermaid said:Bumpity bumpity bump bump bump..............
Damn, it's cold and dark and lonely down here off that wagon.
Now I fully understand why progress was tough when I drank every week. I woke up this morning, hurting bad, the apartment was a wreck and I was late for work. A bit depressed. I am willing for this day to be over.
Needless to say, junk is my friend today. And so is my sesapure and glucorell. Food fit alert.
And not onefrom the ladies. I know, I have to see that the glass is half full not half empty.
And today is the start of another dry spell and tomorrow is the start of another clean diet![]()






Yep remember this feeling write down every bit of it... so when the temptation occurs again you can read it!mermaid said:Bumpity bumpity bump bump bump..............
Damn, it's cold and dark and lonely down here off that wagon.
Now I fully understand why progress was tough when I drank every week. I woke up this morning, hurting bad, the apartment was a wreck and I was late for work. A bit depressed. I am willing for this day to be over.
Needless to say, junk is my friend today. And so is my sesapure and glucorell. Food fit alert.
And not onefrom the ladies. I know, I have to see that the glass is half full not half empty.
And today is the start of another dry spell and tomorrow is the start of another clean diet![]()
Take them for you as least to hold as referencemermaid said:Pics? Um, no, not yet. Need a week and then I'll see what I look like.


que_66 said:Safe to assume the food hit is over?
![]()
Still wuv ya so hang in there!
mermaid said:So, again, tomorrow, I try again.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."







mermaid said:Food fit.
For about 3 hours today. But I sprayed the rest of the chocolate with cleaner and smashed the Doritos to smithereens and put both in the rubbish. I feel like shit.
So, again, tomorrow, I try again.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
I'm the heated blanketjenscats5 said:Hang in there girl!! I'm back on the wagon (or under it?) too - so at least you have company. We'll huddle together for warmth.
You motivated me today with posting your pics!! I didn't eat those cookies! Thank yousbt2082 said:Hey hun! Just dropping in to say hi I hope you had a great day today!!!

Thank you!! And with Bunny as our blanket, we'll do fine. I really love the quotejenscats5 said:Hang in there girl!! I'm back on the wagon (or under it?) too - so at least you have company. We'll huddle together for warmth.
I stand, not crawling, not falling down
I bleed the demons that drag me down....

YES I AM!!!ck2006 said:YOU WILL DO IT AND YOU ARE DOING IT!
And I have faith in you toojamielynn said:You can do this Merm, I have faith.

It was certainly better! Thanks for the vote of confidence.roonytunes said:You CAN do this. Day 4 will be good.
You know the drill, friend
) and between him and the other angels who have posted in my log (yep, that's you) I got through the day.
Very nice cardio workout today and diet looks good too. YAY!!!
Roonytunes said:ps - How did you cook your lentils in tomatoes?![]()
mermaid said:Woke at 3.30am with sinus issues. Stayed awake, did AM cardio and went to work. My work day was not good. Got angry, then upset, then clinically professional (usual routine). Some people really really suck. But learned a valuable lesson.
Food fitting was a close run thing because of emotional pattern described above. Damn, I hate it how my diet is governed by my emotional state. Actually missed meals instead.
What I ate today:
1 cup whites, 1 yolk, 1 banana
Organic spelt pita w/ chicken, avocado and raw veggies
Orange and almond meal slice (like a cake but different, duh, that makes sense)
2 eggs, 2 slices rye bread
2 cardio breeze followed by AM cardio:30 mins bike, hill profile level 6, sneezing all the way.
Alcohol cravings tonight but resisted. Positive element of the day![]()

mermaid said:Woke at 3.30am with sinus issues. Stayed awake, did AM cardio and went to work. My work day was not good. Got angry, then upset, then clinically professional (usual routine). Some people really really suck. But learned a valuable lesson.
Food fitting was a close run thing because of emotional pattern described above. Damn, I hate it how my diet is governed by my emotional state. Actually missed meals instead.
What I ate today:
1 cup whites, 1 yolk, 1 banana
Organic spelt pita w/ chicken, avocado and raw veggies
Orange and almond meal slice (like a cake but different, duh, that makes sense)
2 eggs, 2 slices rye bread
2 cardio breeze followed by AM cardio:30 mins bike, hill profile level 6, sneezing all the way.
Alcohol cravings tonight but resisted. Positive element of the day![]()
mermaid said:Woke at 3.30am with sinus issues. Stayed awake, did AM cardio and went to work. My work day was not good. Got angry, then upset, then clinically professional (usual routine). Some people really really suck. But learned a valuable lesson.
Food fitting was a close run thing because of emotional pattern described above. Damn, I hate it how my diet is governed by my emotional state. Actually missed meals instead.
What I ate today:
1 cup whites, 1 yolk, 1 banana
Organic spelt pita w/ chicken, avocado and raw veggies
Orange and almond meal slice (like a cake but different, duh, that makes sense)
2 eggs, 2 slices rye bread
2 cardio breeze followed by AM cardio:30 mins bike, hill profile level 6, sneezing all the way.
Alcohol cravings tonight but resisted. Positive element of the day![]()
Great job crankin out the cardio!
Yeah !!!!!! Cravings are tough - glad you stuck to it and resisted.
wuv ya Merms!


Great job on recognizing the emotional eating connection, and AVOIDING itmermaid said:Woke at 3.30am with sinus issues. Stayed awake, did AM cardio and went to work. My work day was not good. Got angry, then upset, then clinically professional (usual routine). Some people really really suck. But learned a valuable lesson.
Food fitting was a close run thing because of emotional pattern described above. Damn, I hate it how my diet is governed by my emotional state. Actually missed meals instead.
What I ate today:
1 cup whites, 1 yolk, 1 banana
Organic spelt pita w/ chicken, avocado and raw veggies
Orange and almond meal slice (like a cake but different, duh, that makes sense)
2 eggs, 2 slices rye bread
2 cardio breeze followed by AM cardio:30 mins bike, hill profile level 6, sneezing all the way.
Alcohol cravings tonight but resisted. Positive element of the day![]()

^^ I second thatque_66 said:Great job crankin out the cardio!
Yeah !!!!!! Cravings are tough - glad you stuck to it and resisted.
wuv ya Merms!
![]()
![]()
![]()
^^ thatRoonytunes said:Great showin' of willpower on saying no to the alcohol and going through with the cardio despite the sneezin'!!![]()
^^ AND that ..treilin said:Great job on recognizing the emotional eating connection, and AVOIDING it![]()
great job ... brain function minimal right now

mermaid said:I love you girls. I wake up in the morning, check my log and feel very grateful for the positive reinforcement especially when I feel like poop.![]()
![]()
Jens, I am ahead of you, by approx 17 hours! Crazy isn't it. I'm going to bed on Wednesday night, when you're getting up.
I've been very busy at work and have been having trouble catching up on logs like I like to. Lately, the weekends have been time for that![]()
I'm a big believer in "what goes around, comes around", both good and bad. Someone at work has got it coming to him; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will come. No one can live like that and ultimately get away with it. As a result, diet was shaky again. Too much bread, cake (! - caved in to emotions) and another missed meal. Felt quite sick at the gym tonight for not eating so had a few gulps of gatorade to get me through. I got the gym time in though and that was important for me today. It got me over the anger.
It's so good to know that, though an internet board, I can communicate with some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of "meeting". I am truly blessed to have found the EF ladies. I wish we lived near each other because I would have loved to have met up today for a cup of tea and a good old chat about life![]()

mermaid said:I love you girls. I wake up in the morning, check my log and feel very grateful for the positive reinforcement especially when I feel like poop.
![]()
![]()
Jens, I am ahead of you, by approx 17 hours! Crazy isn't it. I'm going to bed on Wednesday night, when you're getting up.
I've been very busy at work and have been having trouble catching up on logs like I like to. Lately, the weekends have been time for that![]()
I'm a big believer in "what goes around, comes around", both good and bad. Someone at work has got it coming to him; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will come. No one can live like that and ultimately get away with it. As a result, diet was shaky again. Too much bread, cake (! - caved in to emotions) and another missed meal. Felt quite sick at the gym tonight for not eating so had a few gulps of gatorade to get me through. I got the gym time in though and that was important for me today. It got me over the anger.
It's so good to know that, though an internet board, I can communicate with some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of "meeting". I am truly blessed to have found the EF ladies. I wish we lived near each other because I would have loved to have met up today for a cup of tea and a good old chat about life![]()

The 5 week countdown begins!! 
mermaid said:
Wooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be in Chicago 5 weeks today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, just had to let that out, I'm so excited![]()

mermaid said:
Wooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be in Chicago 5 weeks today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, just had to let that out, I'm so excited![]()




it's 8.30 Friday am now, should be at work but going in a bit later today.


mermaid said:I have just read Tre's post on emotional eating and I'm in a state of shock really, I felt like I was reading about myself in most parts and my understanding of my food issues have only become more acute. This is a good thing but uncomfortable nevertheless.
I have to come clean about something that I didn't post on Wednesday. I bought some gifts for a friend, one of which was a tin of luxury chocolate coated honey candied pecans. Lovely packaging, more expensive than you would pay normally for chocolate. I even had them wrapped, ready to ship. Well after another emotional moment at work in the afternoon and without any conscious thinking, I opened them up and ate the whole lot in about 10 minutes. I didn't even think about what I was doing until they were all gone. I then spent the rest of the day in a state of guilt and lied about it (well omitted it) in my journal that night. That's why I "missed" meal 4.
I have been on antidepressants on and off for some time in my adult life. I'm on them again now (started again September 05 when I started journalling). While, I must admit, my rollercoaster emotions are steadied, losing weight is more difficult because the drugs do tend to slow the metabolism down. Hence, I eat clean, train, see minimal progress, fall off the wagon, eat, don't lose weight etc. And I'm at the bottom of that cycle right now.
I've decided, today, to go and see my doctor and discuss coming off the pills. I have to learn to do this on my own. I am strong enough.
I feel sad now. I'd better go to work![]()
mermaid said:Thanks for that Aries!
SBT
Que and Roony
Jens -it's 8.30 Friday am now, should be at work but going in a bit later today.
Love the pic, Bunns. There are some great mermaid pics out there.
So, yesterday, my food consumption was OK but macros were probably slightly off. Had lunch and dinner meetings and stuck to mostly vegetarian foods so protein was low but I feel better for it today (things are "moving" well).
AM cardio, 30 mins bike, hill profile, level 6. No evening gym due to meeting with boss![]()
And I did have 1 glass of red wine with dinner but funnily enough I don't feel bad about it. It tasted great and I only wanted 1.
I have just read Tre's post on emotional eating and I'm in a state of shock really, I felt like I was reading about myself in most parts and my understanding of my food issues have only become more acute. This is a good thing but uncomfortable nevertheless.
I have to come clean about something that I didn't post on Wednesday. I bought some gifts for a friend, one of which was a tin of luxury chocolate coated honey candied pecans. Lovely packaging, more expensive than you would pay normally for chocolate. I even had them wrapped, ready to ship. Well after another emotional moment at work in the afternoon and without any conscious thinking, I opened them up and ate the whole lot in about 10 minutes. I didn't even think about what I was doing until they were all gone. I then spent the rest of the day in a state of guilt and lied about it (well omitted it) in my journal that night. That's why I "missed" meal 4.
I have been on antidepressants on and off for some time in my adult life. I'm on them again now (started again September 05 when I started journalling). While, I must admit, my rollercoaster emotions are steadied, losing weight is more difficult because the drugs do tend to slow the metabolism down. Hence, I eat clean, train, see minimal progress, fall off the wagon, eat, don't lose weight etc. And I'm at the bottom of that cycle right now.
I've decided, today, to go and see my doctor and discuss coming off the pills. I have to learn to do this on my own. I am strong enough.
I feel sad now. I'd better go to work![]()

Mermalicious said:Thanks for that Aries!
SBT
Que and Roony
Jens -it's 8.30 Friday am now, should be at work but going in a bit later today.
Love the pic, Bunns. There are some great mermaid pics out there.
So, yesterday, my food consumption was OK but macros were probably slightly off. Had lunch and dinner meetings and stuck to mostly vegetarian foods so protein was low but I feel better for it today (things are "moving" well).
AM cardio, 30 mins bike, hill profile, level 6. No evening gym due to meeting with boss![]()
And I did have 1 glass of red wine with dinner but funnily enough I don't feel bad about it. It tasted great and I only wanted 1.
I have just read Tre's post on emotional eating and I'm in a state of shock really, I felt like I was reading about myself in most parts and my understanding of my food issues have only become more acute. This is a good thing but uncomfortable nevertheless.
I have to come clean about something that I didn't post on Wednesday. I bought some gifts for a friend, one of which was a tin of luxury chocolate coated honey candied pecans. Lovely packaging, more expensive than you would pay normally for chocolate. I even had them wrapped, ready to ship. Well after another emotional moment at work in the afternoon and without any conscious thinking, I opened them up and ate the whole lot in about 10 minutes. I didn't even think about what I was doing until they were all gone. I then spent the rest of the day in a state of guilt and lied about it (well omitted it) in my journal that night. That's why I "missed" meal 4.
Repeat after me: Wafers are for Punkin!
I ate a whole pkt of wafers I bought for the Punkin.![]()
I have been on antidepressants on and off for some time in my adult life. I'm on them again now (started again September 05 when I started journalling). While, I must admit, my rollercoaster emotions are steadied, losing weight is more difficult because the drugs do tend to slow the metabolism down. Hence, I eat clean, train, see minimal progress, fall off the wagon, eat, don't lose weight etc. And I'm at the bottom of that cycle right now.
werd!
I've decided, today, to go and see my doctor and discuss coming off the pills. I have to learn to do this on my own. I am strong enough.
I feel sad now. I'd better go to work![]()
Isn't wellbutrin for asthma or something like that?Scorpiogirl said:Mermaid......have you tried Wellbutrin?!?!?! It's a great appetite supressant along with a great emotional booster. When I was getting my business up and running, I was really overwhelmed. I started taking it and the fat FELL off me AND, my mental stability came back, AND I quit smoking!!!!! It's just a thought.......
Big hugs, Sweetie! (((((((((((((((((HUGGGGGGG)))))))))))))))))))))
Try to have a good day at work.
^^DittoJenscat5 said:Good morning! (to you) Just got done dinner here & you just got done breakfast!! LOL
You've accomplished the 1st step!! You recognize the issue with the emotional cycle & WHY you do what you do. That is very important!! Whatever you decide to do, you have our support!!
^^DittoScoob said:Hang in there girl, you are doing great, but I agree that you should talk to your doctor before deciding anything. Depending on the anti-depressant, some can actually cause weight gain as well. Talking to the doctor is a good thing because there are a lot of other brands that might be just as beneficial. My thoughts are with you!
Ya know I luff ya Mermie 



I KNOW you can do this. And you are stronger than you know 

Well the thing is, is that you have recognized the behavior.... Now you are actively going to seek out some help (EF, doctor,friend's) Noone ever said changing a life-time of habits is going to be quickly and easily changed. You are not the only one who has been in such an emotinal dump and ate a box of chocolates. If it makes you feel better I purchased pretty Godiva chocolate gifts for Christmas, and then Valentine's.... Ummmm Yeah One for them, two for me, one for them two for me..... We all go through different phases in life and this is one phase that you will get through and surpass and even though right now it seems like everything is out of control and you feel helpless, you will look back and it will seem like nothing.mermaid said:Thanks for that Aries!
SBT
Que and Roony
Jens -it's 8.30 Friday am now, should be at work but going in a bit later today.
Love the pic, Bunns. There are some great mermaid pics out there.
So, yesterday, my food consumption was OK but macros were probably slightly off. Had lunch and dinner meetings and stuck to mostly vegetarian foods so protein was low but I feel better for it today (things are "moving" well).
AM cardio, 30 mins bike, hill profile, level 6. No evening gym due to meeting with boss![]()
And I did have 1 glass of red wine with dinner but funnily enough I don't feel bad about it. It tasted great and I only wanted 1.
I have just read Tre's post on emotional eating and I'm in a state of shock really, I felt like I was reading about myself in most parts and my understanding of my food issues have only become more acute. This is a good thing but uncomfortable nevertheless.
I have to come clean about something that I didn't post on Wednesday. I bought some gifts for a friend, one of which was a tin of luxury chocolate coated honey candied pecans. Lovely packaging, more expensive than you would pay normally for chocolate. I even had them wrapped, ready to ship. Well after another emotional moment at work in the afternoon and without any conscious thinking, I opened them up and ate the whole lot in about 10 minutes. I didn't even think about what I was doing until they were all gone. I then spent the rest of the day in a state of guilt and lied about it (well omitted it) in my journal that night. That's why I "missed" meal 4.
I have been on antidepressants on and off for some time in my adult life. I'm on them again now (started again September 05 when I started journalling). While, I must admit, my rollercoaster emotions are steadied, losing weight is more difficult because the drugs do tend to slow the metabolism down. Hence, I eat clean, train, see minimal progress, fall off the wagon, eat, don't lose weight etc. And I'm at the bottom of that cycle right now.
I've decided, today, to go and see my doctor and discuss coming off the pills. I have to learn to do this on my own. I am strong enough.
I feel sad now. I'd better go to work![]()



Merm, we have way more in common than you thinktreilin said:Who knows maybe someday down the road someone else will be going through your same issues and will be able to read your daily log of the struggles you went through and be able to look to you as a source to help them.
![]()

into submission for a box of chocolate, a bag of cancdy, a pizza, 3 bottles of wine etc ... whatever it may be ... We
you girl .. your post & admittance to yourself is more than most would do and have the GUTS to do on here ...
mermaid said:I feel sad now. I'd better go to work![]()



Always irresistableque_66 said:+++++++++++++++++Sending Positive Q-Tip Vibes+++++++++++++++++
c'mon Mermalicious how can anyone resist Qtip vibes?
Ah, there's my lady. Thank you, MM, you have mymusclemom said:Smile honey, you have so many people who love and cheer for you, seriously.
I myself have just realized that admitting to something and being honest about what it's doing to your life is a major part of the battle ... amazing how we can kid ourselves about stuff.
Know that you're not alone darlin' we all have our own demons that hound us and are chained to us like some metaphorical albatross ...
Learning how to break those chains is among the most difficult of life lessons.
PM to follow (and not an empty promise this time)*Bunny* said:Merm, we have way more in common than you think
Need Update .. we are here FOR you NOT to judge you or into submission for a box of chocolate, a bag of cancdy, a pizza, 3 bottles of wine etc ... whatever it may be ... We you girl .. your post & admittance to yourself is more than most would do and have the GUTS to do on here ...
I admire that in you
Appt on Tuesday am. I'm ready. Just needed some off time - elaboration to follow. Thank you, honeyRoonytunes said:Where you at, Mermie? Post up when you get a chance. I hope everything went well at your doctor's appointment.

Thanks T. It's hard though, thought I would have it all worked out by now, isn't that what experience is for? Glad I posted it but ashamed at the same time, no one likes to admit their headspace is fu<ked on occasion(s). I promise though, no more cover ups.Treilin said:Well the thing is, is that you have recognized the behavior.... Now you are actively going to seek out some help (EF, doctor,friend's) Noone ever said changing a life-time of habits is going to be quickly and easily changed.
thuggie said:Hi there
So you're form Blimey? Have u been here long? I've only been here just over a year, and I go back every three months, I get so homesick. But I grew up in Africa, but spent the last 9 years in London, was born in Scotland tho.
Good luck with the pills and things, I was also there, I managed to get off too, and I have just learn to recognise certain triggers that could spiral me down, and put the brakes on quickly.
Good luck and love and xxx

THAT SOUNDS SOOO YUMMYYYYYYYmermaid said:Meal 4 - Canneloni (chicken mince, herbs, tomato sauce, 2 pasta sheets)
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