Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
just say no!
- Thread starter randk
- Start date
J
jenscats5
Guest
randk said:
Wow...it's hard to sit by & watch a friend be abused..... but you can't force her to leave him.... she has to do it for herself....
Be there for her & offer her your support..... make sure she knows you will do whatever it takes should she choose to leave him.... Good luck to both of you....
Last edited:
M
*MissFit*
Guest
ya what they all say is true. i have gone thru this before.. and know exactly how hard it is too leave.
Outsiders don't realize the amount of psycholigcal abuse that is usually associated with phyiscal abuse to make the abused person feel the way they do about themselves, and theat they may not be deserving of anything better
Outsiders don't realize the amount of psycholigcal abuse that is usually associated with phyiscal abuse to make the abused person feel the way they do about themselves, and theat they may not be deserving of anything better
You are doing all you can. Opening your house and heart. Letting her know shae can always talk to you.
I think it is important to remember not to judge her when she comes to you. Judging her or her man will only result in alienation - she won't come talk to you anymore.
Let HER talk things out. Your opinion doesn't matter, really. She should do more talking than you do. You are simply the sounding board for her emotions. It is hard to not give your opinion, but SHE needs to make this decision.
CC hit a good point. Telling her she "deserves better" may be true, but she likely doesn't believe it right now. Even if she SAYS it, she probably doesn't believe it deep down. She is not only abused physically, but psychologically. She probably believes she did something that deserved punishment. You can't change this feeling. All you can do is *help* her come to this realization - you can't *make* her.
Good luck to you (and her)
I think it is important to remember not to judge her when she comes to you. Judging her or her man will only result in alienation - she won't come talk to you anymore.
Let HER talk things out. Your opinion doesn't matter, really. She should do more talking than you do. You are simply the sounding board for her emotions. It is hard to not give your opinion, but SHE needs to make this decision.
CC hit a good point. Telling her she "deserves better" may be true, but she likely doesn't believe it right now. Even if she SAYS it, she probably doesn't believe it deep down. She is not only abused physically, but psychologically. She probably believes she did something that deserved punishment. You can't change this feeling. All you can do is *help* her come to this realization - you can't *make* her.
Good luck to you (and her)
Sassy69
New member
Is this her bf or husband? At the very least she should do a financial & legal inventory of her ties to this guy and her ability to bolt if she wants to. This would give her something to do to protect herself & her resources and she doesn't have to make any commitments until she's ready. But at least if she has a feeling of control over her life instead of handing it all over to him & feeling locked in emotionally as well as every other part of her life. Anything she can do that will help her jettison the "victim" feeling is a good thing.
thanx for all the advice gals. I know it is her decision to make and she is starting to take an enventory of what she would take with her. We are working on the self-esteem issues but as you all know it can be hard. I have never been physicly abused but have gone through the mental and emotional abuse and am aware of how it knocks down your feeling of self-worth and ability to do things. I appriciate all the moral suport I feel from you ladies. (and daizy, I will try but it is sooo hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes!)
Similar threads
