"Why are you going to the gym so much? You don't need to lose weight! You're already really thin!"
Yeah, retard, i'm trying to ADD pounds, not lose them. Thanks for the mtivational speech!
After years of having people look at me and assume I have an eating disorder (and be right), the last thing I need is getting that "worried" look when i'm trying to do the right thing.
wow. yeah. I hear you LOUD and CLEAR. +1000.
I have been sick of that for YEARS. My first memory of dieting was when I was about 7. My favorite pair of pants stopped fitting(lavender corduroys). Because of all the time I spent listening, focusing on my mom and her friends talking about diets, getting fat, not getting fat... and so on, I automatically quit eating to fit back into my favorite pants. Little did I know, I was just GROWING and GROWING was normal at the age of 7. So, yea. Then I didn't eat... for years.
When I was 15, my doctor put me on crutches for a stress fracture on my pelvis. I was on the cross country team, running 5-8 miles a day, but only eating maybe 500 calories a day. I sure felt like the fattest kid on the block, but everyone else was worried. That was a really hard time for me. My dream was to be the star of the cross country team, yet, I was stuck on crutches. I remember trying to excercise and getting into trouble because I wasn't using my crutches. I spent many nights doing crunches, pushups and jumping jacks in my room after everyone else went to sleep (and trying HARD not to wake my parents), followed by an hour or so of crying and feeling hopeless. Then, go to bed. Get up, go to school on my crutches. Rinse, repeat.
When I was finally off my crutches and away from the nutrition specialists to teach me about "calcium", "iron", "calories"...
I went into a new sport. Boxing. It was the workout of my dreams. HOURS of intense training, 6 days a week. I was finally eating better and feeling kinda okay about my body.... but my classmates would make jokes about my muscles from boxing. They would say stuff like, "you have such a pretty face! It looks funny on a boy!". The hurtful part was that these were my "friends" just "teasing". I eventually stopped eating, again.
Along the way, I managed to somehow get a better idea about what I needed to do. I ALWAYS feel fat.. but I know that I will ALWAYS feel that way and it doesn't matter what my scale says. Now, I focus on being healthy instead "looking good".
My mom says I am gonna die from all of the mercury in the fish I eat.... but is QUICK to point out when I gain an extra 5 pounds. I hate going to visit my mother. I'm either "fat" or "sickly skinny". I learned to ignore it. It was hurting me more than she knew.
So, I focus on healthy. I do my best to ignore the comments. People always find dumb,
reckless things to say to each other. I wish I would have understood this when I was covered in sleek, boxer-girl muscle and getting called a boy. It seems so perfect to me, now.
Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
