superdave said:
Ok bor Im going to tell you this shit straight up. No more Mr.Understanding&Empathy here anymore. Ive tried to be wiser and reply to damn near all of your posts with a certain above board wisdom and non-judgmentalness but you just need to hear how the world, and women, really are, especially at your age.
You better start fucking some women now and just get the uncomfortableness and puppy love out of your system. Get laid by women who are your equal, not high school chicks. You WILL feel some pain, you WILL feel some emptiness, and you WILL feel like you are not acting as a saint.
But guess what? That bullshit passes after a couple months of getting some ass. And guess what else? You will start to realize what youve been missing out on all this time and wonder why you werent in on it earlier. You will feel a different confidence and attitude that only a nice piece of ass gives a man. Because I will tell you the alternative if you continue down your road of self doubt and loathing.
There is a guy I know who is eerily similar to yourself, hes older (30), has a dead end job, no prospects, and no social skills to speak of. Cant support himself and constantly has to live with roomates and bum rent money off his parents. Hes my brother and just so happens hes the biggest loser Ive ever known. Just so happens hes also a virgin with zero physical play from any girl his whole life. Now obviously him being a big loser with the chicks has not been the whole cause of his life to this point, but it definetely is a big symptom of the whole thing. Dont be him by the time you are 30, turn the thing around now. Hes got such a large emotional and psychological learning curve with women that he will NEVER have a relationship with a woman. Its just not going to happen, it would have in some form by now if it ever was going to. It hates me to say that about my own bro but Ive known him 30 years and its true.
My point is involvement with the opposite sex makes gives you more motivation to be better in all areas of your life, because that means your relationships with women will be all the more fullfilling, sexual and otherwise. Its like a synergy. Women will NOT consider you as a serious relationship material, it will be like a novelty, "innocent virgin guy" they can call when the real men arent giving them the time of day. You are already starting to see that even the sweetest of girls just doesnt give a shit if you dont be a man and take charge and get laid when she is offering. All this is magnified under the white hot lens when everyone is in their 20's.
Women do not care about your devotion to morals nor do they think your innocence and virginity is attractive for the long term, no matter what bullshit they tell you now. Just look at all the adult, seemingly sane, women just on this board who are with the "Bad Boys" that run all over them, then they come to this board to complain about their relationships with their men. But you can bet your ass those guys are railing their women 6 ways from sunday on his terms and dont give a damn about feeling emptiness or innocence or any of that crap. Those guys are sewing their wild oats, as well they should be until they are damn good and ready to settle down on THEIR terms.
Because when you get older and want to settle down you can look back and say with utmost confidence "yea, I had my fun and I got mine" and you wont be tempted to stray to other women because you all of a sudden realized what youve missed out on your whole life.
And that is the reality.
So quit wasting your time and get yourself some ass.
thanks for the post dave, you put a lot of thought in your words and i read them and considered them carefully.
are you sure i could completely get the puppy love out of my system, and get to a point where i dont feel guilty about sex, just by making myself have it a bunch? You know I'm a Christian, and have had other Christians throw their beliefs about premarital sex at me and it has brainwashed me somewhat. Do you know any serious Christians who have just said "to hell with being sacred about sex" and just started having it, and were cool with themselves doing that? (And also still remained a serious Christian)
I just dont want to start going out having tons of sex to try to change myself to be more casual about it, but just dig a really huge hole filled with regret later. Honestly I'd love to be free of the emotional bondage tied with sex, but can humans be? Many women for example are constantly having sex with strangers and regretting it the next day.
So now you see why I'm scared of taking on such a risky endeavor. Plus then even if I succeed, I'll be the ultimate hyppocrate, who is a Christian and used to say "i have morals, and sex is sacred, and i value it" and then to turn around and be doing it all the time casually? some people on here were already upset that i let a girl touch my dick since it seemed hyppocritical to what I used to say.
I really feel bad for your brother. I hope and pray that he someday he will become independant and find a woman.
The part about involvement with the opposite motivitating other areas in life is entirely true! since I met this girl, I've been more conscious about taking care of myself for example. Its one of the big reasons why I want to get involved with women.
Some women appreciate men that are innocent. I think some women do have principles about sex too. But women with experience want a man with experience. and ALL women want a man who takes charge. I've learned that.
The part about how if a man sows his wild oats making him less likely to be tempted later on, is something ive heard from a lot of people. Because he got it all out of his system he doesnt need to do it later when he's married. But consider the opposite argument, what if he's so accustomed to getting hot new types of ass everyday that she just doesnt want to settle down even after he's married, and he misses the old days.
so... I'm not saying your wrong or anything, I'm just saying that there are counterpoints, and I dont know who is right, but all sides have to be weighed.
Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
