How many of you played football and whenever you took a good hit

[SpyWizard]

That's the thing about women they don't forget anything you say or do. They might not bring it up right then and there most of the time they just save it and use it against you when you really piss them off. Well I was know exception she was just sitting there waiting until I completely forgot about the situation. One thing my ex girl knew about me was I hate blood. I can handle seeing it I mean I played football was in the Army but touching it and seeing it , smelling it makes me faint anytime I have to give blood I pass out. Two months go by and my girl invites me over her house . She emails me on Myspace saying she wants to get her back blown out. I'm excited because I have something to look forward to after work. So I get over there and she's already in her room butt ass naked. I wasted know time I went straight to work one thing I noticed was that it pitch dark in her room. I mean she normally has the TV or her bathroom light on but she didn't have on any lights on at all. I didn't care I'm fucking the hell out of this girl and she was super, super wet. I'm thinking to myself damn she must have really been horny. Two hours go by and where both exhausted we just laid there. The next morning was a morning I'll never forget. She was already gone she had to go to work the next morning. When I woke up it was fucking blood everywhere. This mother fucker was on her period and she didn't say anything I was wondering why she was so wet. Blood was all over my face, all over my chest, my elbows, and my legs. I never scream so loud in my life. I looked like Carey from Prom night. I got on the phone and called her ass. "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WHERE ON YOUR PERIOD"? She laughed and she said it's only a little blood beachboy you're a tough guy right? Walk it off and she hung up on me. I was so grossed out I sat in the shower just sat in corner crying like bitch trying to clean it off of me. It was everywhere. Well I couldn't leave these bloody ass sheets on the bed so I carried them to trash can outside. Well she lived in a 98 % rich white neighborhood when those white folks seen a 220 pound mexican looking guy wearing a bandana coming out of a white girls house with bloody ass sheets. They where on there I phones in six point five seconds "Hello police I think we might have another OJ on are hands the good news is Johnny Cochran is dead and from the looks of his car this wetback is broke. My girl had to bail me out of jail due to the misunderstanding so fellas learn from my mistake. If you ever accidentally stick your girl in pooper "DO NOT TELL HER TO WALK IT OFF". She will make you pay!!

hahah.. You know you have to do her one better.. don't be a pussy.. you have to do her one better..

 

[Wulfgar]

dude i found you can totally tell if a girl is on her period cause you can smell the iron in her blood on your dick as you are fucking her

but thats fucked up she did that too you knowing your phobia of blood

 

[bigmann245]

bwhahahahahahaha x 1000000000000

 

[Beachboy6294]

dude i found you can totally tell if a girl is on her period cause you can smell the iron in her blood on your dick as you are fucking her

but thats fucked up she did that too you knowing your phobia of blood

I hear ya but that was a few years back and I was on some ghb so I was out the box and we had sex for like two hours!!

 

[drsketch]

haha I used to enjoy drawing it out and doing all the foreplay forever.. Now I just want to destroy the vag for 5-10 minutes and go to sleep.

 

[Smurfy]

I have a confession to make ladies I'm not much of a love maker. I can do everything else for you open up doors, pull out chairs, and hold a conversation with the best of them. I can be everything you want me to me in a boy friend except a love maker. I'm not going to lay there and caress you, moving slow while listening to Kenny G's greatest hits, kissing on you, crying with "love you NO I love you" that's some punk ass shit. Don't get me wrong I'm gentlemen but when it comes to the bed room. I only know one speed BLOW YOUR BACK OUT SPEED. I was raised by a single mother and my mom is gangster so she didn't raise know punk. With that said being a love maker isn't in my blood I'm a fucker. But sometimes being a fucker can get you in a whole lot of trouble. Being a fucker can damn near be dangerous. One night I was blowing my ex girl friends back out. Well the lights where off and I accidentally put it in the wrong hole. Yes I accidentally put it in the pooper. Fella's I'm not sure if you ever made that mistake but if you ever stuck it in pooper your girl will make noise that will haunt you for the rest of your life. I know my girl was in pain because she just lay there face down, ass up barking like a seal from Sea World. I panicked I mean I never heard her make a sound like that. I tried to come with the right words to make her feel better the only thing I could come up with is what my football coach use to tell me whenever I got the wind knocked out of me in practice. I told her "WALK IT OFF". I said Walk it off shit happens your tough right? Well she couldn't even respond she was in pain and furious beyond words. I knew I was in trouble the next day. I was afraid she was going to beat my ass in my sleep so I slept on the couch that night. I knew she was going to get me back for the walk it off comment I just didn't know when. There is nothing more scarier then the unknown.

LOL!! jesus christ thats funny
yes its happened before
i had an ex accidentally shove his huge member up my ass on accident when he had me bent over the bathroom vanity sink. fuck my dad was just downthe stairs and i am still convinced he heard me screach and yelp when it was shoved into the wrong hole. good god that hurt.

 

[Beachboy6294]

LOL!! jesus christ thats funny
yes its happened before
i had an ex accidentally shove his huge member up my ass on accident when he had me bent over the bathroom vanity sink. fuck my dad was just downthe stairs and i am still convinced he heard me screach and yelp when it was shoved into the wrong hole. good god that hurt.

WTF smurfy you just turned me on talking about that! Sorry to your man but it does!

 

[javaguru]

I told a girlfriend to once walk it off......I didn't realize she had actually torn both her MCL and PCL ligaments though......

I tore my ACL and damaged the meniscus during a skiing trip to Montana. I walked down the mountain. I knew it was torn...I heard it.

 

[rsnoble-im-back]

I'll never forget butt burn. That fucking hurts.

 

[Beachboy6294]

I'll never forget butt burn. That fucking hurts.

WTF??