fat trouble

[Quadsweeps Sister]

This is such a tough topic.

My b/f and I have been together a year and 8 months now and we just went out together this past Friday night and it felt like first date excitement (without the first date awkwardness). Its funny how this is the first relationship I've ever had where we both like to get dressed up for one another and make sure we still 'excite' one another sexually and otherwise. We are kind and respectful. Don't get me wrong - we've had our ups and downs, but what I am trying to stress is the important of keeping things fresh and exciting...all the while maintaining respect for one another.

I think first try to think about the period of time when she first started to gain. Can you remember if anything triggered this? Has your relationship experienced any changes outside of the visual change you 'see' in her? Is she experiencing some health problems or problems at work, etc.

Not everyone is athletic and maybe she isn't a gym-goer. What attracted you to this women? What other interests do you share?

Maybe looking a little deeper into her daily life may shed some additional light on what may be going on. Sudden weight gain usually happens for a reason. If you love her I am sure you will find a way to talk without too much hurt. Sexual attraction and intimacy are both parts of a relationship and need to be addressed or other problems will arise. Take care.
__________________
Mythicwrld

"We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more."

 

[Gymgurl]

Great advice Quadsweep's Sister.....

Now if she is just 21.....she can use a little work...can't all be age related!

 

[TheOak84]

shes basically a lazy person, who likes to eat.. has no motivation and a gym membership

i try to get her to go with me, and she does, but once a week, which isnt enough.

she thinks working out hard once a week is good enough, i try to tell her consistency. and watch your calories. her waist is bigger then mine... when im with a girl, i wanna feel bigger then her, and i wanna put my arm around her waist, not a luv handle, but im getting tired of wasting my breath on a person who doesnt wanna be healthy.

i work hard and i workout hard, i just want a girl that does the same..

its a lifestyle to me. not something i do in the spare time...

 

[aandd]

I've tried about everything I can think of. She doesn't even want to walk the dog yet alone go hiking with me or something like that which doesn't seem like you are just training. I didn't mean anything by the stretch marks, I know they can't be helped and she got them from having my daughter which I greatly respect her for. However, she is not even 21 yet, so the ass and boobs cannot be blamed on age. If she would just do activity of some sort her ass would go back to how it used to be and a little strength training focused in the chest area woyld help bring her boobs up. She is always complaining that I don't want to have sex but she doesn't do anything about it. I am always trying to continously improve my physique for her as well as myself, but she doesn't understand it is a two way road.

Not entirely correct. Sagging boobs will not be aleviated by exercize. Boobs are made from fat. If she got serious about diet/exercize/etc her boobs would get SMALLER, not perky like they used to be. And exercize alone won't do much for the cottage cheese look on her ass if her diet isn't in line.

If it affects you that much, maybe you could spring for a boob job and some lipo?

 

[Gymgurl]

hehehehehe...oh and a tummy tuck!

 

[Tweakle]

dude come on.. someone who's lazy, chubby, eats crap and isnt interested in working out or improving themselves isn't really a good match for guys with our obsession.

chances are she's just too scared and self concious to go to the gym or start doing cardio outside.. but if she's just too damn lazy to make positive changes in her life, and you don't find her attractive anymore.. well, you're only 21..

 

[Dial_tone]

Think of it this way. The heavier she gets the worse she will feel about herself, making it even less likely that she'll want to go out and have fun much less go to the gym and be the fat girl everybody giggles at.

 

[SexyJen]

Just dump that plumper! if she loved you she would take care of herself and look silm and sexy for you. my ex boyfriend gained a shitload of weight after we were together for awhile so i dumped his fat ass and i have no regrets about it. why should i have to date a lazy fat slob when i go to the gym everyday, watch my diet,wear nice clothes am well groomed etc......i now have a hot muscular guy and we have awesome sex! i have a big problem with fatness its just soooo nasty to me..

 

[Swole_2112]

I've had the same problem with my g/f in the past. She has something of a weight problem. For the longest time, I tried to steer her toward healthy eating and exercise, but, she took none of it seriously. Or, if she did, she would for about a month and then come off the wagon.

I love her tremendously and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. But, my sexual attraction for her isn't always there. Her and I have talked about it before, and she has suspected that the reason why I don't feel such lust for her IS because of her weight, but I could never let on that that is actually the reason.

Like GG said, I never actually come out and say any of it. Whenever she expresses the interest or a need to eat right and exercise, I pounce on the opportunity. I try pretty hard to put her on a regimen that she can maintain. After several failed attempts, I think I might have succeeded this time. I think she may actually stick too it.

With my reasonably time intensive experience, let me give these words of advice, never straight out say, "Honey, you need to lose weight." No good will come of it. Least of all, a smaller reading when she steps on the scale. Next, try to do the food shopping, yourself. Diet will take her a long way. Next, see if you can make some kind of a deal with her, such that she is committed to proper nutrition and exercise just long enough for her to see some results. Maybe, if she sees some changes, she'll continue on her own.

Remember, if you love her, then you love her. Her weight should not change that. But, it is not unreasonable for you to expect her to get into shape if you are dedicated to being healthy. Like several people here have said, it's a two way street. After all, I'm sure she enjoys all the perks of you being in shape.

 

[TC2]

Lmao @ all the girls playing the "Something must be missing in her life or lacking somehow" mentality.

It could'nt possibly be that maybe..just.. maybe she's just fuckin lazy as hell like most people.