So today is the end of week 3 and puts me at about the midpoint of my cycle... So far I have gained 9 pounds, up to 200... I am sure my body fat is still in the 6 area but has probably gone up a touch... I am going to assume about 6.5 or so, which is unacceptable to me but I will be able to fix that once they cycle is complete and am not holding on to any water... I am definitely seeing a lot of change daily and now with the anavar and proviron starting to kick in, the vascularity is becoming amazing... This will be able to be seen with the pics I post tomorrow...
Today was just a cardio day... I did 75 minutes on the stairclimber on level 11 and finished with 15 minutes on the elliptical on level 8 for 2 miles... This is my typical Sunday cardio... The stairclimber is always a nice long climb but it is always helpful on days like today when the nba is on for me to watch as I climb...
So I guess I need to let a few things out that are bothering me that I am having a bit of trouble shaking... Its more personal than physical... Its been bothering me for a few days now and that is strange because normally I can let things go very quickly but this is lingering...
I got into a slight argument with my ex fiance a few days ago... She saw my newest pics and told me that I was way too thick and that I needed to stop eating so much and I needed to do"crossfit"...
Let me explain why this bothers me... I have always been very touchy when it comes to weight in general... I have been a high fashion model for over 6 years and so I have been brainwashed to be very thin and that anything else is unacceptable... Ive battled eating disorders, cocaine, etc... Its been a long journey to get to where I am today... I guess I feel that at 200 lbs. and 6% body fat that I would be in an elite area of humans in general but her comments are really bothering me... I know I just need to shake it off but its not that easy coming from where I have and going through what I've gone through... I should consider the source though, coming from someone who only weighed 115 pounds and was a size 2 and had liposuction... So there's obviously issues with her as well but you know, sometimes comments and words can cause mental anguish... I am sure I will be fine, but it has definitely been giving me a bit of a hard time... I will get past it and keep working hard... I will do my best to not let it effect me and everyone that knows me on here knows that things like that will only motivate me to work harder and harder... I appreciate everyones support and I promise you this, I will keep pushing harder and harder and I will look like a fucking ice sculpture by the time this cycle is complete!