Dating chicks with kids.Advice.

[DIVISION]

OMG...you took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. Mark this day down as I'm sure it'll be one of the few that I will say that.

I was right about you.




DIV

 

[habitualhealth]

I was right about you.
DIV

oh yeah? i think i missed the memo...care to enlighten?

 

[DIVISION]

oh yeah? i think i missed the memo...care to enlighten?

Look at the posts you've made today, backtrack.



DIV

 

[lickin lollypops]

Ugh...if it weren't so early....you'd piss me off with this "baggage" garbage. A child is not baggage. Emotional instability, financial ruin, addictions.....THOSE are baggage. If he's crazy about this chic he needs to take it super slow. IMO, 2 months isn't quite long enough to know if you really are ready to take on the "ready made family". Personally, I do not date with my daughter at all. I'm very fortunate that her daddy is a HUGE part of her life and he and I share custody/schedule so I have down time so to speak. I feel that i need to get to know a man (and he me) thoroughly...see if he and I are compatible together before involving my daughter. A child is far too impresionable to have diff men/women coming in and out of their life. I'm speaking on my OWN behalf....you dont get to know me and THEN get to know my daughter to determine if you want to be with me. She is, without question the best part of who I am....so it's a done deal. Like someone said above...predetermine BEFOREHAND if you are willing to/can date someone with a child before even engaging in any "relationship". If not, no big...but be man/woman enough to say it upfront. If you're really into this gal....assure her you're not going anywhere and that time is key. Flip it to her that you are just as excited about the relationship but want a chance to really show her and get to know all that she AND her priorities (the children) are about. That will show her you respect her situation and have everyone's best at hand.

You must spread some Karma around before giving it to habitualhealth again.

 

[Spartacus]

You have known each other for two months and she is asking you, "When are you going to warm up to my kids?"

Stupid question: How long had she known you before she introduced you to them?"

Answer: NOT LONG AT ALL.

HYUGE RED FLAD

This will sound harsh, but, fuck the shit out of her as long as you can and run like hell when it ceases to be worth it anymore. But not when the kids are in the pic. Meaning, only see her when the kids are with the dad or take her out and doink her in a hotel while the kids are home with a sitter.

Any woman that feels the need to push her kids on a young man (or any man) that soon after she has met him has rocks in her head and that young man (or any man) is better off without HER...

Children are NOT baggage. They are a blessing and a gift, one that is not to be taken lightly or "pushed" on anyone.

hey! solid

 

[lickin lollypops]

I just say this because I know my self, and that while I could hold someone else child very close to me if i were a step dad or something...i really wouldnt beable to hold them as if they were my own blood. That's just me though.

I guess you'll never know until your put in that situation....But that's just my opinion.

 

[artrius]

Ok bro, here's what you need to do. Get lots of garlic, some crosses, and lots of wooden stakes. The next time that bloodsucking bat of a vampire comes around you frickin nail her to the ground with your stakes, dump garlic down her throat, and impale her with a cross you aren't wearing.

That should get rid of her, or at least get your point across.

 

[Dekaxx]

Dude i would see BIG RED FLAGS with this one! Im a Single DAD and i do NOT allow women to be around my children unless im SERIOUS with them and 2 months is hardly time enough for you to be warming up to anything!

Besides your 24 years old and you need a ready made faimly in 2 months like you need a bullet in your head!

Kids are great but lots of responsibility and this chick is dead wrong for trying to FORCE her kids on you and thats exactly what it sounds like she is trying to do.

I even had a counselor tell me one time you can count on 1-2 years to properly develope a realtiosnhip with someone who has children.

 

[tybz28-#2]

Thanks for all the advice. This is a really hard situation for me because I really like this girl. I also have feel like someone else who posted and said that they would never be able to love kids that arent thier as as much as kids that were. I think im the same way. i dont know if i can love these kids like they deserve to be loved.
Also, all the red flags. Its really even worse than you guys think. First of all this girl has worked with my mom for like 3 years. The first time i met her was at a bar. One of my friends is standin there and he tells me, "dude that blond over there can't take her eyes off you" I have never been pursued like this by a girl before. She calls me all the time , everyday. She started askin me if i wanted to meet her kids like month after we got together. I know exatcly what she would say if I said that most people wouldnt inroduce someone to thier kids so fast, she would say. "Well its a package deal and if you arent serious then we have a problem"
What do you guys think this girls motivation is? Does she think that she better get a man now before she gets too old? Does she have a hidden agenda? I wonder if she has heard soemthing about me possibly from someone to her work that works with my mom saying i have money or somethin. Its just weird I have never been pursued like this. Most of the time I have to put in 50% or more of the effort in relationships.

Oh and can you guys give me some ideas on how to interact with her kids. I thought i was interacting but she doesnt think so at all. What should i do with them? Please give me some tips. Im not good with kids i guess.

 

[jenscats5]

^^

I think you need to take more time to re-evaluate whether or not you want to be in that situation.

It's hard to say what her motives are just by reading what you have posted -- but it's very strange for a woman to push her kids on you like that. Where is their father?? Provided he's involved with them, they have a dad & don't need another one. You aren't & won't be their dad -- but you can be their friend.