Dating chicks with kids.Advice.

[habitualhealth]

Everyone to their own but personally I think a young lad of 24 doesn't need to deal with two kids, the ex, a pushy older women and all the rest of the crap that comes with it. Not my idea of a fun relationship! It's up to him but hey there's plenty of fish out there without that kind of baggage.

Ugh...if it weren't so early....you'd piss me off with this "baggage" garbage. A child is not baggage. Emotional instability, financial ruin, addictions.....THOSE are baggage. If he's crazy about this chic he needs to take it super slow. IMO, 2 months isn't quite long enough to know if you really are ready to take on the "ready made family". Personally, I do not date with my daughter at all. I'm very fortunate that her daddy is a HUGE part of her life and he and I share custody/schedule so I have down time so to speak. I feel that i need to get to know a man (and he me) thoroughly...see if he and I are compatible together before involving my daughter. A child is far too impresionable to have diff men/women coming in and out of their life. I'm speaking on my OWN behalf....you dont get to know me and THEN get to know my daughter to determine if you want to be with me. She is, without question the best part of who I am....so it's a done deal. Like someone said above...predetermine BEFOREHAND if you are willing to/can date someone with a child before even engaging in any "relationship". If not, no big...but be man/woman enough to say it upfront. If you're really into this gal....assure her you're not going anywhere and that time is key. Flip it to her that you are just as excited about the relationship but want a chance to really show her and get to know all that she AND her priorities (the children) are about. That will show her you respect her situation and have everyone's best at hand.

 

[habitualhealth]

Take this seriously for I have been left with a miserable childhood, my parents went through a series of failed divorced and step-parenting and look what they have done to me...

Ditto on this post....

I loathe my stepmother....have often times thought of smothering her in her sleep for the horrid things she has said and done to me. You really need to understand the importance of the RESPONSIBILITY you are about to embark on.

 

[seizer]

I personally wouldnt beable to enter a relationship where the other person already has kids. I know that since they arent my own, I could never truly care for them as much as I would want like they were my own. This chick is probably lookin for a father, you're 24...while thats old enough to be a good dad, you have the option to grow more as a person before you make any child commitments.

 

[Bikini Mod]

For the record - I have kids. In the 4 1/2 years that I have been separated from their father (going on 2 years divorced) ONE MAN has met them and that was at his urging for several weeks before I consented. I knew him for over 3 years before I allowed this to occur. He is also much older and quite experienced in life - a father and grandfather (married young first time) and still we are having a very hard time because of the issues of the death of his wife.

Relationships can be very complex. When children are involved all the adults need to put the kids first. This woman pushing the kids on you so soon is not expressing that. That expresses insecurity - period.

I have dated mad shamelessly. NO ONE even sees a picture of my kids, that is how special they are to me. Heck, I have had FRIENDS that I have known nearly two years that havent yet met my kids.

 

[habitualhealth]

Heck, I have had FRIENDS that I have known nearly two years that havent yet met my kids.

Yep yep same here. If only more parental units would have the same mindset....

 

[from zero]

She's obviously hunting for a new father figure. Get out. Now.

 

[hamstershaver]

welcome to the world of gigantic kitty

 

[KillahBee]

lmfao!!!

 

[onerepmaximum]

It's package, not baggage. What I mean is, if you choose to be involved with a woman with kids, it's a package deal. You get it all or you get nothing. I guess 24 is young. I don't know, it depends on your experiences. I was an old man at 24, I think. If you're not in love with her kids too, it's gonna cause problems down the road. Two months is pretty quick to be making any long term commitments though, kids or not.

 

[from zero]

I'm gonna step up and play some devil's advocate here. To a young, just out of college, 24 year old guy with a lot of potential, youre goddamned right those kids are going to be baggage. He doesn't need to deal with that shit yet. He's got waaaaay too much to look forward to at this point in his life.

Back off, move on, enjoy freedom while you can.