Your most sexually embarassing moments !!

[KD1]

Dude Im just fucking with you.

You are trying way too hard, just laugh at your nasty ass experience with the rest of us.

 

[lilj888]

yo that throw up on the dick is fucking gross. shit or throw up on dick either way is pretty much the same thing but one is more digested then the other. Now leaving throw up on your dick overnight and wakin up to carrots and peas incrusted in your pubs is gross. a little shit turd on your couch gross also, but its not like a dog never shat on the couch before or the floor. the fact is who had the gross shit on their dick longer. If it was a instant wipe right after her takin the shit on your dick then i dont think it would be that bad as sleeping with vomit on your dick and pubs to allow it to crust up and seep into you. eitherway their both fucking gross and that sucks major balls for the both of u. Id say if u instantly cleaned your dick after the barf, then the shit dick is worse but u didnt, and who knows how long u stayed at the bar partying with ur vomit dick.

 

[lilj888]

exactly,

imagine you are taking her doggie, and stroking away, well, that smell and heat are rising up into your face and nose..

no thanks.. i'll pass.. "it's tighter than her vagina you say"???

I say then you have a small penis or your girl is a road whore that has vibrators that are too big..

either way.. the throat is small..

yea i didnt even think about the friction and heat, even grosser. i think ill pass on anal for sure unless the girl gets a asshole cleanse by a professional that day and doesnt fart or have any shit shes holding in, then id think about it

 

[Arabian]

probably my first time...
i was no less than 16 years old, went to a christmas party round a school frineds house. there was only about 20 of us there and we were all having a good time, drinking, playing spin the bottle, you know, stuff you do when your 16 years old lol.
then the girl who was hosting the party, her mum and 2 of her friends came home, properly drunk. they started getting rowdy and getting more drink out and stuff. my friend was annoyerd that her mum had crashed the party, but i was quite glad because i thought one of her mums friends was really sexy, and she kept flashing her tits at me, it was great!
so anyway, time gets on and people have started to ko, but me and this lady are still downstairs, chatting, having a drink and stuff. both absolutely wankered. so said i just come right out with it and say "i think you are really sexy" and she says "thats sweet. do you know what i think?" so i say "what" she says "i think you should fuck me" i was absoulutely speechless. remember, im 16 years old, this lady is in her late 20's and has just told me to fuck her.
i just about manage to mutter a feeble "errrrr....ok" and we get down to business. kissing, taking eachothers clothes off. she starts sucking me, and i was like "holy fuck, i had no idea it feel this good!" after i dont know how long, she tells me "your turn" so down i go. now i literally have no idea what i am doing down there, but i lick the pink bits and slide 2 fingers in. she actually started moaning and writhing around (whether this was just to make me feel better i dont know, but it made me feel pretty fucking good at the time) after another while, she just looks at me and says "i want you inside me"
so im like yes!!!!! its on!!! so i postion myself over her, (shes on a big old armchair, hips just ver the edge) and slide into her. start hammering away. it was the most amazing thing, i was loving it, anyway, i was so excited that i was finally having sex, and with a quite attractive late 20 something, that i blew in probably 2-3 minutes lol. tbh i wasnt that bothered, i was 16 years old and had just lost my v's, i was so happy. until i heard a giggle behind me-a few of my friends had been in the room the whole time and i hadnt even noticed them!!!
im sure they could have snuck out at any point, but they thought they would stay for a free show, cheeky fuckers lol.
well anyway the most embarrasing part was not blowing my load in fewminutes in front of my friends, but after i went back to school after the xmas holidays. i remember i was late to my first class on the first day back, i walked in and the whole class just started going "uhh, uhhh, uhhh" like making hardocre sex moans lolololol. i got the piss taken out of me for weeks after that. but i think it was worth it.

lol good one

 

[Arabian]

you guys are a riot.. the west will never live this down ...hshheheheh

 

[the_alcatraz]

shot so hard it hit my eye and was bruised for 4 days.

 

[txbondsman]

never, I have no conscience, disgusting is funny, and first you'ld have to give a shit what happens....

I've posted some good stories that come under "strange" or "funny", the funny one most people may find embarassing, the gist of it, I was fucking this chick in a club on the dance floor that was closed off and the manager opened a sliding partition and 50 or so people saw us laying there nekkid before he noticed us.... lol

 

[Jocques Straap]

I'd take dry crusty vomit over shit on my dick any day. - just saying.

I've had a girl vomit on my dick while attempting to deep throat while giving me road head while driving through New Mexico in a 26ft Uhaul.

 

[NEO1]

I call BS! Uhaul doesn't use 26ft trucks

I'd take dry crusty vomit over shit on my dick any day. - just saying.

I've had a girl vomit on my dick while attempting to deep throat while giving me road head while driving through New Mexico in a 26ft Uhaul.

 

[KD1]

I'd take dry crusty vomit over shit on my dick any day. - just saying.

I've had a girl vomit on my dick while attempting to deep throat while giving me road head while driving through New Mexico in a 26ft Uhaul.

Did she finish the job?