Your most sexually embarassing moments !!

[Chrisco915]

Okay......was doing this girl I was dating in the ass and she shit tipped it. I pulled out and the smell and clump of excrement on the head of my cock made me throw up all over her ass and back. That is just embarrassing top to 'bottom'.......pun intended.

 

[Wulfgar]

i cant say ive ever been sexually embarrassed

 

[rediculus]

Ok how about sexual embarassing without even screwin her yet...I'm hitting on this chick she starts feeling up my naughty bits in denny's yes In Denny's under the table. I am enjoying it naturally so just as when dawn comes you raise the flag up the pole. She screams out...No I dont' mean says out loud

this bitch screamed out

OMG You want to stuff that thing in my what? THere's no Fucking way that things going to fit in me" I will end the quote there and not mention the families reactions around us....Not trying to say I'm walkin around with a tuba stuck in my pants but It's definetly no flute...That was one of the first times in my life I was ever really truly embarassed.

 

[*The_West*]

she seriously said that, out loud?! ouch lol. i bet the look on your mum's face was priceless

 

[rediculus]

It was just us at the table. I took her out for some food first..But there were families all around..and I don't mean she Said it..Bro it sounded like a shoved a 2x4 up her ass...And my 2 female friends (non romantic relationships) were sitting across the table...Only thing one of them said was..holy shit dude..i've never seen you blush before...My nickname is DD or Double D...Dirty dan....I have a mouth that would make a hooker blush but I just believe there is a time and place lol.

OH last experience perhaps..high school girlfriend I never got over her..she was beautiful back then..110 lb cheerleader type with an ass that would crush granite. I won't attempt to tell you how pretty her eyes and smile were because the male language doesn't contain words descriptive or appropriate..Just know she was all that and a bag of chips with nacho cheese..yah....The NACHO CHEESE!!! Never had sex with her in high school she was a virgin...GOT DAMN Close. Tried a couple times but she said it was too painfull. Angry inch not bragging just saying that's why I didn't get it back then.

SO I find her 10 years later on Myspace...SWEET!! I go to San Clemente and we hang out for a weekend..She is still FUGGIN HOT!! Green eyes smile that would bring laughter and joy to hells whore house..Just an amazing person..We go have a few drinks I get a hotel room because I can't ride my 10r back home..she comes in...lays down...I do the gentlemen thing because a part of me is dumb as fuggin rocks. Sitting next to her bed on the floor (yes I got a 2 beds instead of one big one) On the floor with one arm up and over her as she is going to sleep...she starts sucking my fingers....Ok...first of all rule 1 that just fucking cheatin if I am being a gentlemen...next thing I know I am on the bed we start making out..Hot and heavy clothes fly off like 2 teenagers all over again..I dont' even have her pants off and I can feel her legs squeezing and flexing..

She squeezes my shit in...Telling me how its still so huge (she said it not me but fuck if I am gonna complain or call her a liar) now someone here said..2 minutes? It took 1 minute to squeeze it in..She was sooo HOT inside..literally her body heat must all focus in her accessory box..and SO FUGGIN Tight!!!! AS i was going in...I feel my balls go OH OH..I squeeeeeeeeeze for the LOVE OF EVERYTHING RIGHT IN THIS WORLD DO NOT BUST YOUR NUT!!!!

I calm it down...she starts moving straight up and down..I can see the muscles in her thighs and her...twisting and sqEEEEZING me..3 seconds later it's like a machine..Her body just starts HAMMERING Down on me..Jackhammer status...I mean TIGHT AS everything glorious..

You all may think..oh what a n00b...this guy finally got a girl that actually screws back and he busts a nut...No dude...she didn't just ride me...She put John Wayne to shame I don't claim to have the BEST game but I got my name for a reason this is...BY far....the singular...defining moment in the sexual history of the world...SHE Squeezed my shit so tight and so hot and so good it dented my dna.

It was like my cock was on 20 tabs of acid and my balls were the starship enterprise Enterprise....GIVE'R ALL SHE GOT SCOTTIE!!!

ok so long story short..she hammers me for a good 20 seconds I started to blow so hard I threw up straight up in the air with one hand nailed her with the first shot before she hit the bed....

The second shot hit me on the neck/chin area and hell no I didn't taste it..I never seen something move like that..straight out of a sci fi movie.....She put her hand on my chest after and my heart was beating so fast she actually got worried I was having a heart attack....I wish I had that on film...seriously...So I got whipped called her wanted to hang out all the time for like a week..she said "man you gotta go" I said OH GOD I WANNA DIE" then I left grew up a little....So....anyone can top that?

 

[*The_West*]

holy fuck lol. i dont think that CAN be topped. awesome story, told well.
hahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[wills_got_rythm]

My first most embarrasing moment was my first time with whiskey dick, the second was my second bout with whiskey dick, and my third was my third bout with whiskey dick.

Since then I've learned not to drink so damn much if I'm talking to a nice chick. lol!!

Every time though I came back for seconds and made it worth their while...After they tell me I have magic fingers!!!!!