Your most sexually embarassing moments !!

[ricco561]

I'd take dry crusty vomit over shit on my dick any day. - just saying.

I've had a girl vomit on my dick while attempting to deep throat while giving me road head while driving through New Mexico in a 26ft Uhaul.

So you can feel my pain............or she can feel the other girls pain...................or whatever...........you know what I mean.

 

[qman04]

I was drunk and heading back to my room after a party at school and met this girl while walking back. And for some reason I just asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said yes so I took her into the laundry room at LSU. I am hitting it for about 20 minutes before I realise that a female security guard is just standing at the door watching. But as drunk as I was I didn't care and kept going but then she yelled stop and the girl ran out. Now here is the weird part...while I am pulling up my pants to leave the security officer comes in closes the door and starts giving me head. Long story short I fucked her about 5 more times....and that is why I love LSU

 

[aquatic_glories]

I was drunk and heading back to my room after a party at school and met this girl while walking back. And for some reason I just asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said yes so I took her into the laundry room at LSU. I am hitting it for about 20 minutes before I realise that a female security guard is just standing at the door watching. But as drunk as I was I didn't care and kept going but then she yelled stop and the girl ran out. Now here is the weird part...while I am pulling up my pants to leave the security officer comes in closes the door and starts giving me head. Long story short I fucked her about 5 more times....and that is why I love LSU

Epic !!!

 

[mustang_00]

this chick i was screwing around with was giving me head one day and just out of the blue she was like "i want you to cum on my face!!" i had never done that before so i was like fucking sweet and totally excited. so she's still sucking me off and i tell her i'm almost "there" so she pulls her mouth off it and starts stroking it towards her face and then i shot one of those power shots that completely missed and went into her hair scared me for life. how the fuck do you miss????

another time with my ex. we were sitting on the couch and i had my head in her lap and she starts playing with my dick. so i pull it out and she starts jerking me for a while. i tell her i'm about to cum and she just said ok tell me the last second. so i did. she lets go and i shot but it flew slow motion like the matrix and hit her dead center on the botton lip/chin. fucking funny and hot at the same time. she was super pissed. i kinda miss that silly bitch

 

[Big_Joe]

this was meant to be a light hearted thread, and as per usual, some one has to ruin it by throwing insults around. why are you so angry? is it because you dont actually have any sexual moments to share? its ok bro, it will happen one day. but not if you keep being so rude.

Oh it's happened for him. But it was him shitting on the sofa.

 

[got2getripped]

Hmm from all the girls over the years I've been with: getting puked on twice, pissed on (unintentionally), going limp (alcohol). I wouldn't call pulling out a shit dick embarassing though. Makes for some really funny sputtering flatulence on her part afterwards.

 

[GWizz]

I am a tool...lets just get that outta the way.

when I was 16 I went on a date with a girl I worked with. She wanted to drive and neither of us could think of anything to do. We ended up sitting in a parking lot for freaking hours.

She kept trying to get me to put on this girly chap stick shit and I was to naive to realize she just wanted me to kiss her and get it on me that way. Eventually she drives to the end of this dirt road in the middle of nowhere and I finally got the balls to kiss her. We were making out pretty good when i realized I hadn't taken a piss in like 9 hours.

So I tell her I'll be right back and head off into the trees. I was in the middle of the longest piss of my life when I look down and see that the piss was running down the plant and all over my pants. I was running around forever trying to get it to dry.

30 minutes later she come and finds me and I'm all sweaty. She was late for her curfew and had to go home.

There was no sex with her....ever. That was kinda embarassing.

 

[rediculus]

Shit on the dick? been there done that laaaaaaa

Gone down on her and the fuckin bitch forgot to tell me she was on the rag...ewe but laa

My buddy says his GF wants to do a tag team 2 guys on her so I am like ok cool whatever I am down...her roomate comes in..I say dude fuck your own girlfriend I got this handled. She sucks..the most...amazing suck..My buddy (fukstik) pulls her head off my cock and starts fucking her..his girl sprawled out on the bed..Fucker left his girl to fuck her roomate...that was just greedy imho.

Fucking in my driveway when I psycho hose beast roomate starts Pounding on the window telling me to put my dick away...( I was couch surfing with a family at the time and the mom wasn't as impressed)

 

[*The_West*]

some fawking hilarious stories in this thread. glad to know im not the only one who has had and "shitty" (lol, see what i did there?) experience

 

[richard89]

shit