Worst sex EVER!

[Sub-Zero]

one time i was beating off and sitting down to porn, and it blew up and hit me in the face....it was the most traumatic experience iv ever had, and now i catch it in tissue

i nearly cut my hand, dick, and face off all at once, but then i realized that wouldnt be possible

 

[Griz1]

I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?

 

[slickdadd]

one time i was beating off and sitting down to porn, and it blew up and hit me in the face....it was the most traumatic experience iv ever had, and now i catch it in tissue

i nearly cut my hand, dick, and face off all at once, but then i realized that wouldnt be possible

*record skips*

 

[redcrimeboy]

I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?

no, thats not wierd.

 

[slat1]

I tried Viagra 100mg one night in New York City. My buddy and I took turns on 5 strippers from a prominent strip club. They were all really hot and it lasted for 3+ hours. The only problem was that they had to go after a while and I couldn't get off. So I wound up in the bathroom beating it. My whole entire right arm locked up.. then my left. I never got off. AND, I had to hang out at my buddies place with a hardon!
Needless to say, "don't look at me" was said quite a bit that night.
I am reformed now. I don't have meaningless sex anymore. I do miss it though...

 

[chiba102]

Anal sex in the ball pit at Chucky E Cheese’s using McDonald’s pancake syrup as lube. She was fat and just about my mother’s age. I thought no one would ever know but, I was caught on the security camera.

About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.

 

[Evil_Frisky]

I tried Viagra 100mg one night in New York City. My buddy and I took turns on 5 strippers from a prominent strip club. They were all really hot and it lasted for 3+ hours. The only problem was that they had to go after a while and I couldn't get off. So I wound up in the bathroom beating it. My whole entire right arm locked up.. then my left. I never got off. AND, I had to hang out at my buddies place with a hardon!
Needless to say, "don't look at me" was said quite a bit that night.
I am reformed now. I don't have meaningless sex anymore. I do miss it though...

So in short...

the WORST sex you ever had was WITH YOURSELF?

 

[slat1]

So in short...

the WORST sex you ever had was WITH YOURSELF?

Having five of the hottest women should have been the best. The result of me beating off until both my arms were useless made it one of the worst.
I can't remember all the times I've had sex anyways... I'm suret there were some drunken moments that weren't so good!

 

[Guvna]

Anal sex in the ball pit at Chucky E Cheese’s using McDonald’s pancake syrup as lube. She was fat and just about my mother’s age. I thought no one would ever know but, I was caught on the security camera.

About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.

bwahahhaha. I am glad I dont have experiences like these.

The worst was as follows...
In high school there was a girl, and she was giving me a blow job. I busted in her mouth and about 2 seconds later she has a riproaring sneeze. He mouth was full and she ended up blowing it all over me. face, clothes, car, everyfuckingwhere.


I also had another chick that smelled worse than anybody else's "she smelled THIS bad" stories. It was terrible, and I really did throw up. I never talked to her again.

 

[Steve The Bluesman]

This is a great thread...

Here are a couple of mine...I was fucking this waitress after a long night of working and drinking - I put it in her ass and was going to town, then it got all squishy down there, I didn't pay much attention, but then the smell started, and I realized that all this shit had squirted out around my dick. Naturally, I finished, but then sprinted for the shower.

Another time I was getting ready to fuck this spanish chick, but I had to take a piss, and told her I'd be right back. She said go right here, rubbing her jugs. I thought about whizzing on her and then wallowing in my own piss, and said, "sorry, I have to go now."


Bluesman