Worst sex EVER!

[deltreefitness]

one time i was beating off and sitting down to porn, and it blew up and hit me in the face....it was the most traumatic experience iv ever had, and now i catch it in tissue

Yeah right. I saw you taste it. Cum eater.

 

[Bullit]

(and I'm fairly big

Of course you are.
Plus you bench 450 and have an IQ over 150.

Just like everyone else on EF

 

[dzulboy]

I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?

Nah but it hink you made that two year old gay lmao

 

[superspud]

i got probably the worst head in my life last night, the bitch didn't know what sucking on it ment. no warm wet nothing, just felt like a ring around my pole...

 

[SoKlueles]

well lets see
i was dating this guy.....and i dont really know why i was dating him....and we were having sex...and i thought i was going to throw up just because he was THERE....and i made him stop

 

[kristie_doll1980]

Worst sex... I have a few

I guy I just met was going down on me but apparently nobodies ever told him that biting a woman's clit is painful. That shit hurts. You don't want teeth biting down on your dick, don't bite clits.

He also has a thing about insulting me during sex. Calls me his fuckhole. I know it's just dirty talk but still...

OK, years ago I gave a guy a terrible blowjob. He pushed my head a little too hard into his dick and I ended up gagging and throwing up a little. It was nasty. I still feel bad when I think about it. He never called me again

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Worse sex I had sober, was with a chick who got on EF just to see what site I was looking at (not my current wife Annabelletx) when I told her I was on my message board typing while chatting with her on the phone once. She got on EF for a couple of weeks and then left after posting and chatting a bit.

Basically, she gave horrible head, no suction, teeth dragging (my dick went limp), then when I went down on her she did not make a sound or move at all. Once I started fucking her, again she just laid there...and after about 5 minutes of this I pretended to cum then went to the bathroom and flushed the condum so she would not know and just chilled and chatting with her for a couple hours before going home. She was a good conversationalist. A couple weeks later we were chatting and she admitted that she did not think we were sexually compatable, and I admitted to faking my orgasim.

 

[dzulboy]

i can't believe BBF is married WOW

 

[Deleted member 33117]

i can't believe BBF is married WOW

I can't believe I wasted so many years chasing anyone but Anna. It feels like I have been with her for years, and it is a bit difficult to imagine NOT having her now.

 

[deltreefitness]

Worse sex I had sober, was with a chick who got on EF just to see what site I was looking at (not my current wife Annabelletx) when I told her I was on my message board typing while chatting with her on the phone once. She got on EF for a couple of weeks and then left after posting and chatting a bit.

Basically, she gave horrible head, no suction, teeth dragging (my dick went limp), then when I went down on her she did not make a sound or move at all. Once I started fucking her, again she just laid there...and after about 5 minutes of this I pretended to cum then went to the bathroom and flushed the condum so she would not know and just chilled and chatting with her for a couple hours before going home. She was a good conversationalist. A couple weeks later we were chatting and she admitted that she did not think we were sexually compatable, and I admitted to faking my orgasim.

LOL you faked an orgasm.