venting time

[trex74]

I just have to vent a bit, I am so stressed out. For the last couple weeks since my husband has been in hospital, I have had no desire to exercise, and I have no appetite. I can't eat, sleep, or do anything much at all.
Basically just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I have never been depressed or anything in my life, but i feel like I am going through some hard times, and i can't wait for them to be over.
I went to see a doctor and they gave me the number of a pastoral care counselling place. I'll call them. They also prescribed me some pills for when I am too overwraught to function, which has been happening lately a lot. I just seem to burst out crying a lot.
Crying at work is not an option. I need the job for the insurance benefits too to cover all the medication.
I have to get through this and put on a brave face for my husband because after all its him that's sick not me.
I am so worried about the heart transplant, and life afterwards.
There is too much going on right now.

 

[zedhed]

WOW trex. I really dont know how you do it at all.
But I can tell you this, there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of you and your husband.
Prayers for you both sis.
Yours in spirit,
Zed

 

[cuthroat]

No two situations are alike and it sounds as if you have a lot more stress and issues in your life right now than I have ever had but I have had my bouts with severe depression. I have been on all the med's under the sun and they would take the edge off but leave me feeling groggy and my mind hazy.

If you can I would say force yourself to work out once. You are guaranteed to feel better afterwards; I have never gone into the gym and come out feeling worse than before. Consistency over the years helped me wean myself off the anti-depressants.

There is nothing wrong with crying; hang in their chica - as bad as things seem right now you'll look back on this one day and it won't seem so bad. I hope all goes well with the surgery.

Keep your chin up.

 

[Roxy722]

Vent away! That's what we're here for. I'd give you a big hug if I could!!

Trex, you seem like an incredibly strong person and I can't imagine how difficult it is to go through what you are facing. I think calling the Pastoral Care Center would be a great idea and give you a support and outlet that is just for you and a safe place to express emotion. Sometimes they have those types of people right in the hospitals too but I know that varies from province to province. It sounds like the meds are for an as needed basis and they can help when things seem so overwhelming. Do you have other support people that you can lean on? friends or family to give you that extra TLC or listening ear? Is taking time off work an option? stress leave or family illness or something like that? Those are a few thoughts that come to mind.

Try to take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself. You do have a lot on your plate and I know being stuck in limbo waiting for surgery is very difficult. You have helped me on more then one occassion and if there is anything I can do to help you, I'm here for you. I think of you and your husband often and will continue to pray for you as well.

Hang in there.

 

[RachelM]

Oh Trex, my heart goes out to you... I have been through a few not good scenarios and what helped me was the saying "it will pass", nothing is forever and everything passes with the transit of time, so when you feel like you cant go on, know that it is in this moment you are feeling like this and it will pass and tomorrow is a new day.

There is so much support here for you.. Trex, please vent, you are in my thoughts..

 

[williamske]

Damn that sounds like a lot on a person. You are going through a lot - having the one person you love more than the world in the hospital has to be a lot of stress. I cannot relate on the level of pain you may be feeling, all I can is tell you that eventually all of this will be over and you will be a stronger woman for it. Use this time to get closer with your loved ones, look for them for support - and if they are irritating like my relatives, just ignore them and maybe spend time self reflecting. I would just be sure to try and consciously eat, not eating plus the stress can talk a physical toll on your body. Your body needs food, and while you may feel depressed and not want to eat, you need to force yourself to eat because by not fueling your body how can you expect it to deal with the emotional stress you are trying to digest? I hope you feel better. Vent away.

 

[trex74]

Thanks everyone
it means a lot to me

 

[Island_Girl]

Trex! I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I'm with Roxy....if I could I wish I could give you a big hug and comfort you as a friend would. I feel like I have gotten to know some of you ladies on here and even though it is just cyber friends, heck it seems like I REALLY know you guys!

I highly recommend you calling the Pastoral Care Center. They are equipped with knowledge and love and could possibly give you the comfort that you need.

I'm praying for you and your husband. *hugs*

 

[zedhed]

Hey trex just this little tip. I know you are already taking pills but you just might try this. In Eurorp they swear by St. Johns Wort. Hoping and praying for the best for you lady and your husband.

 

[musclemom]

Living through the chronic/life threatening illness of a loved one is actually worse than having the illness yourself, seriously.

Vent, rant, scream, and eat whatever you do or do not have a taste for, but I would say something: Try to get some form of exercise, even if it's a long walk or swim or jog on a treadmill, nearly every day. Force yourself, seriously. If nothing else, use the "You MUST stay strong for your husband" mentality.

I know it seems impossible but take (at least) an hour or so a day for yourself or you risk spiraling into a very bad place and you don't have that luxury. Your husband is still alive and he needs you and needs your job. You MUST stay healthy, and you need to get your mind in a place that does not leave you feeling devastated and lost.

Trex you have no choice, you gotta do this. You can't control what's going on with your husband, but you can control how it impacts you, and you need to deal with this situation like a marathon, it's not going away for a long time, if ever. Which means you need to eat well, stay hydrated and pace yourself or you'll implode. You're not going to do him a lick of good if you don't take care of yourself. In fact, you're only going to add to his burden of guilt and concern (and sick people feel HORRIFICALLY guilty about the burden they put on their loved ones) if he sees that you're not taking care of yourself.