Tell me the worst sex you ever had.

[Buddy_Christ]

i tried as hard as i could to make it good for this one chick that was horrible in bed. every time she'd just lay there and squeak. one day i let her get on top of me, and that had to be, without a doubt, the absolute worst i've ever had it. somehow she confused the look of pain on my face for pleasure. i let the torture continue for maybe 10 minutes. all i was thinking was "i hope she gets off soon, cause i can't take much more of this" only to find out later that she wasn't trying to get herself off, she was trying to get me off! i ended up getting on top of her and faked an orgasim just to get the whole thing over with.

had her on all 4 one day and i had leaned down, was going to be a nice guy and kiss the back of her neck while railing her. she didn't know how close my head was to hers....she threw her head back and smacked the back of her head into my forehead....HARD. her head dropped into the pillow and i knew she was hurting, but i started really pounding the shit out of her for a few more minutes til she made me stop cause her head was hurting so bad. i was in a race to get off before she made me stop

this chick was just an alternative to jerking off for me. that's the only reason i'd let her hang around at my place for the weekend. if i didn't feel like nailing her one weekend, i'd make up an excuse as to why she couldn't come up. there were times she'd be at my place for the weekend and i'd go into the other room to jerk off instead of having sex with her. she knew exactly what i was doing too, as i'd announce i was going to go jerk off...yet she'd STILL call me up mid-week and ask if she could spend the weekend with me! took her almost 3 months to realize that she was only an alternative to masturbation for me, but i had pretty much made that clear for her by week 3 with my actions around her.

i love sex just as much as the next guy, but this girl was just THAT bad that i said no to sex with her more than i said yes.

 

[AAP]

50 cent version. I had been doing the phone booty thing with this chick from AOL for a few months. I just like hearing chicks have a good screaming O, so sue me. I'm in Atlanta and she's in Nevada somefreakinwhere. Now, I know this girl's not Paris Hilton thin but she's on the damn phone so what do I care? Lo and behold, she finds a reason to be in Atlanta one weekend so we agree to get together for a lil freak nasty. I'm thinkin she's prolly 5'7", 170'ish. That's do-able...brothas like 'em big anyway. I go pick her up...HOLY MOLY....how did she miss the NFL draft? This girl's 230 lbs if she's an ounce. I'm about 210 at this point so she's got me beat for sure. I promise you I actually turned one foot to run but I think that's just too too cold. Plus I already got my mind set on some sex so I'm in it for the long haul. Actually took her to Cirque du Soleil then to my place for some bonin. I gotta admit she f*cked like a champ but I never called her back. We were supposed to hook up the next night too but I couldn't go another round with the female George Foreman. Nice blowjob, wouldn't swallow, loved it down the ole dirt road, I spanked holy hell outta that big booty too.

You should have used that Chris Tucker routine from Friday (them movie).

"DAYYYUMMMM!!"

 

[AAP]

lol, isn't that your fault if you can't climax?

Man, you ain't ever heard of Fucking-For-Favors?

Shit, sex is barter money in the gay world.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

...HOLY MOLY....how did she miss the NFL draft? This girl's 230 lbs if she's an ounce. I'm about 210 at this point so she's got me beat for sure.

so you learned an important lesson in getting a good picture of them beforehand i hope.

 

[AAP]

tell us the pube story.

He said "Ohhhhh you make me so hot."

So I did.

 

[pitbullstl]

Sophmore year of college............I met the most amazingly hot girl (next to my wife) I have ever seen.........she's done playboy twice for the Big 12 thingy..........but believe me this was of no consequence, as she was the worlds worst fuck. This bitch would just lay there and close her eyes.......literally FUCKING CLOSE HER FUCKING EYES.......until I blew......oh yeah I blew alright..........but that was only due to the fact that she was amazingly hot.......and a shitload of test........

The weird thing is she was so sexually aggressive before we would actually get down to it......licking my ear in the bar....displaying the fact that she wasn't wearing underwear................weird...........plain fucking weird..........

She ran up the stairs to my room........lit candles.....stripped off her clothes.......and laid on my bed.......I thought I would bust before I even touched her........but the minute I got near her......she went all limp noodle on me........and CLOSED HER FUCKING EYES..................weird ass hot girls............

 

[Buddy_Christ]

prolly thought she was so damn hot she didn't have to do a damn thing and that you were responsible for all the work.

 

[Dial_tone]

so you learned an important lesson in getting a good picture of them beforehand i hope.

I had a pic but the fat ones never have a recent one. Hell, I had a pic of her with someone's dick in her booty.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

I had a pic but the fat ones never have a recent one. Hell, I had a pic of her with someone's dick in her booty.

i know the feeling. damn false advertising

but the fatties got one thing going for them...they'll do anything you want. my theory on that is that they never know when they're going to get dick again, so they'll do anything they can to give you incentive to come back to them for more.

 

[AAP]

crk600 - she SQUEAKED???

Damn... bro you fucked a rat