Started dating an Older Woman... need opinions from both sexes!

[StoneColdGold]

I've been seeing an older woman for a little while now. I've known her since august. we work at the same place, but our different jobs don't bring us in contact during the day. i met her at a company party.

she's almost 9 years older than me. i just turned 25 two weeks ago, and she'll be 34 soon. she was married for six years (no kids) and has been divorced for just over a year. i'm on the other end of the spectrum. at 25, my longest relationship has been 4-5 months.

i am definitely falling in love with this woman. she is smart, beautiful, spiritual, funny, and thinks i'm the greatest thing ever, which doesn't hurt. we've been spending a lot of time together, talking, laughing, sharing. i've also had more sex in the last 2 weeks than i'd had in the previous 25 years! she has the most voracious sexual appetite i've ever experienced from a woman first hand.

her age isn't a problem for me now. but i can't help but look to the future. i have always wanted a big family. when i'm 30 years old and ready to begin that family, she will be almost 39. obviously, this isn't exactly the beginning of a woman's prime child-bearing years.

because of our age discrepancy and what it would mean for the future, i can't help but feel that there can't be any long term prospects for this relationship. am i being unreasonable? guys, what would you do in this situation? how do you tell a woman that you love her but that ultimately you can't be together? ladies, if you were in her position, would you understand where the guy is coming from?

i know that no matter how solid the reasoning, she is going to be crushed. it kills me to think of that. please give me your thoughts.

 

[Night Fly]

Hey you!!! I'm glad to hear that you've finally found someone who cares for you and treats you like YOU deserve to be treated! You are a great guy and you need a great girl because you deserve no less than that.

If I were the female in that situation...well...I would TRY to understand. I would want so badly for something to be able to workout...and for things to be 'okay.' She is going to be hurt.

Do you honestly feel that there is no way you can have a long term relationship with this woman? Because honestly...if you feel that you can't right now....you need to get out soon. This is for your sake AND hers. If you both really wanted it to work...it may if you tried hard enough. Do you think that you could get past her age and the fact that she may be too old to bear the children that you really want to have? Those are just a few things to think about.

Sorry if this seems bluntly honest...but you know that's how I am!

 

[PHATchik]

I know the feeling of wanting a big family. I definitely want a housefull of kids. I've always loved them. If you can honestly see yourself spending the rest of your life with this woman, then have you ever thought about adoption? I know it's not the same as knowing a child is yours, but if you want to keep her in your life, but you also want children, it's always a possibility. (BTW, she is still capable of having your child at that age)If you decide that you simply can't handle that option or any others presented to you, then end it now. Don't drag it out. It'll only hurt you both more. Just think carefully before you do anything.

 

[Austin316]

well dude, no offense, but ur really going to start noticing the age on her while u stay young looking, she'll be 40 when ur 30 and yea, I dunno having kids will be tough for her, lot of things to consider

 

[vinylgroover]

Maybe it's just a passing thing with her as well. She was in a marriage for 6 years, divorced now, so she wants to prove to herself and the world that she's still sexy, still got it, so she links up with a younger guy.

It sounds like you've already thought it out rationally, and that in your heart of hearts you can't see it working for whatever reason. If you do stay with her, you want her to be upfront and honest with you about starting a family, does she or doesn't she want children?. If she doesn't want kids, then the decision is made for you......move on.

If you can't see it going anywhere, you are better off ending it here and salvaging a friendship out of it.

btw, is she into anal sex?

 

[Pamela]

Be open and honest with her!
"Don't lead her on."

Just like VG said she might be just having fun with you..
She probably feels great to have a young guy after her..

If you let her know how you feel;
this may be an on going relationship for a long time.

 

[vinylgroover]

Be open and honest with her!
"Don't lead her on."

Just like VG said she might be just having fun with you..
She probably feels great to have a young guy after her..

If you let her know how you feel;
this may be an on going relationship for a long time.

So how does it feel to have a young guy after you

 

[Pamela]

So how does it feel to have a young guy after you

VG how have you been?

 

[vinylgroover]

VG how have you been?

Can't complain sweets. If i did, no one would listen anyway I got your note.....i wish 5 x's......i need to do something about it and soon.

I trust you are well.

 

[c-sharp minor]

I was in this EXACT situation 8 years ago. She was 33 and I was 26. Everything you wrote describes the relationship I had with my ex. The sex, divorce....everything.

My ex was bothered by the age difference. I suppose I made her feel old. We both had different priorities and ended up going our separate ways.

I don't see anything wrong with such an age difference. If both people love each other, then, why not?