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Sitting in front of the computer eatin a popcicle

just...v said:
No? What does it have to do with?

Cause I have always assumed men like that valued their freedom too much to get attached or were looking for an absolutely perfect woman.
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lol@putting it out there in the open so the bottom dwellers can have fun with it
 
puddlemonkey said:
lol@putting it out there in the open so the bottom dwellers can have fun with it
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You could always answer via pm. I'm just curious if I am being too judgmental or if I am right about this type of man.

I do understand about putting anything on here of a personal nature. Some peeps on this site are worse than a pack of hyenas on an injured animal.
 
just...v said:
You could always answer via pm. I'm just curious if I am being too judgmental or if I am right about this type of man.

I do understand about putting anything on here of a personal nature. Some peeps on this site are worse than a pack of hyenas on an injured animal.
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hhhmmmmm... I could. your ties with SB make you suspect though.
 
puddlemonkey said:
hhhmmmmm... I could. your ties with SB make you suspect though.
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You're choice, I can happily keep my assumption that all men over the age of 30 that have not been married are entirely too selfish to give up their freedom. Therefore are not good for having a relationship with cause it will end up nowhere.
 
just...v said:
You're choice, I can happily keep my assumption that all men over the age of 30 that have not been married are entirely too selfish to give up their freedom. Therefore are not good for having a relationship with cause it will end up nowhere.
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*your
 
Or we could say men over 30 develop a much more discerning eye towards women instead of marrying the first chick who comes down the pike, thereby ensuring his freedom by default.
 
superdave said:
Or we could say men over 30 develop a much more discerning eye towards women instead of marrying the first chick who comes down the pike, thereby ensuring his freedom by default.
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Yea but by 30, you have been through college and started a career. Haven't you been exposed to a lot of women by then?
 
just...v said:
Yea but by 30, you have been through college and started a career. Haven't you been exposed to a lot of women by then?
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Yes. And thats part of the problem given the attitudes and expectations of the modern american female. The more we are exposed to it the more we dont want to make any "freedom limiting" mistakes.
 
superdave said:
Yes. And thats part of the problem given the attitudes and expectations of the modern american female. The more we are exposed to it the more we dont want to make any "freedom limiting" mistakes.
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Explain some of these expectations and attitudes that you find are the worse. What has been the deal breaker for you?

And I ask because I know some men that are over 30 and not married. Honestly, they are the most immature douches I have ever met and I can see why no woman would stick around. Then I know this other guy who on the surface seems like a really great guy. Most women that I talk to can't believe he isn't married or in a relationship. But as I got to know him I realized he's a shallow asshole.
 
I think 30 is way young for those kinds of assumptions. Maybe late thirties, but not 30. These are modern times, people have careers, they travel, they date for long periods before marriage.
 
nefertiti said:
I think 30 is way young for those kinds of assumptions. Maybe late thirties, but not 30. These are modern times, people have careers, they travel, they date for long periods before marriage.
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You're probably right. Come to think of it, the two immature guys I'm talking about are in their 40's, well one is 39, I think. The other one that was shallow is 32.
 
just...v said:
Explain some of these expectations and attitudes that you find are the worse. What has been the deal breaker for you?

And I ask because I know some men that are over 30 and not married. Honestly, they are the most immature douches I have ever met and I can see why no woman would stick around. Then I know this other guy who on the surface seems like a really great guy. Most women that I talk to can't believe he isn't married or in a relationship. But as I got to know him I realized he's a shallow asshole.
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Why is being previously married a litmus test of a mans worthiness? Marriage as an institution is obsolete and should a man decide to get married at all he would certainly need legal protections in place to guard against the legal system that is stacked against him in favor of the woman. I think more and more men are avoiding marriage altogether so this notion of "hes never been married, he must be defective" no longer applies for the most part. Whatever happened to the notion of "hes divorced, he must be a bad husband" ? That went out the door when people stopped giving a shit about the "sanctity" of marriage altogether. Unless youre referring to "starter marriages" lol you gotta be kidding me with that concept.

But to answer your question, modern american women expect their men to drop what attracted them in the first place and change, once they got him where they want him. Bad sense of entitlement as well (feminism, princess syndrome, whatever you want to call it). Nagging over bullshit. Ive been relationships where the arguing went on so long i didnt even know what the original argument was over lol. Theres always a pressure to take things to the next level also and its unnecessary. Youve never heard of anyone saying "gee i wish i got married sooner".
I could go on but its probably easier to just peruse any dating site and start posting up profile links of the women im talking about. It wont take long to find them trust me.
Tell you
 
Can someone summarize this thread for me, or do I have to go out and buy a 24-pack of popsicles and read this whole damn thing?




mmm... popsicles...



:cow:
 
superdave said:
Why is being previously married a litmus test of a mans worthiness? Marriage as an institution is obsolete and should a man decide to get married at all he would certainly need legal protections in place to guard against the legal system that is stacked against him in favor of the woman. I think more and more men are avoiding marriage altogether so this notion of "hes never been married, he must be defective" no longer applies for the most part. Whatever happened to the notion of "hes divorced, he must be a bad husband" ? That went out the door when people stopped giving a shit about the "sanctity" of marriage altogether. Unless youre referring to "starter marriages" lol you gotta be kidding me with that concept.

But to answer your question, modern american women expect their men to drop what attracted them in the first place and change, once they got him where they want him. Bad sense of entitlement as well (feminism, princess syndrome, whatever you want to call it). Nagging over bullshit. Ive been relationships where the arguing went on so long i didnt even know what the original argument was over lol. Theres always a pressure to take things to the next level also and its unnecessary. Youve never heard of anyone saying "gee i wish i got married sooner".
I could go on but its probably easier to just peruse any dating site and start posting up profile links of the women im talking about. It wont take long to find them trust me.
Tell you
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You have some really good points. Like I said before, all the older men I have met that aren't married are defective imo, self centered and arrogant. But I should point out that I have not been really putting myself out there and meeting new people until recently. That's why I asked.

And I can't disagree with you as far as your views on most women. I do think that women get comfortable and let their looks go. I pisses me off to hear them say "well, I've had kids!" Well so have I and I look better now than I did before I had them. I've been the one married friends have called to bitch about their husbands and sometimes I feel like my brain has turned into a friend egg after I hang up the phone. So I do see what you're saying. But I'll ask you this, is it that you are unwilling to compromise at all? Or would you bend a little for a woman who is reasonable?
 
just...v said:
You're choice, I can happily keep my assumption that all men over the age of 30 that have not been married are entirely too selfish to give up their freedom. Therefore are not good for having a relationship with cause it will end up nowhere.
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I have no plans to be married by 30, and it has nothing to do with unrealistic expectations. Quite simply, I'm not going to jump into a lifelong commitment on a whim. Getting married should be for life. So instead of judging those who haven't, maybe you should be targeting them as they may value it for what it is rather than a glorified girlfriend who's a lawyer away from away taking half your shit.
 
just...v said:
I'm kinda curious about what you think, Ceo. Do younger men only go after older women with kids cause there is nothing else available?
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nef has kids? Wow, I didn't know that!


just...v said:
You know what else kinda makes me look at a guy funny is if he is older than me an never been married. I kinda wonder why.
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I don't. I'm pretty sure why in most cases.
 
just...v said:
And I ask because I know some men that are over 30 and not married. Honestly, they are the most immature douches I have ever met and I can see why no woman would stick around. Then I know this other guy who on the surface seems like a really great guy. Most women that I talk to can't believe he isn't married or in a relationship. But as I got to know him I realized he's a shallow asshole.
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I think it's just due to the type of company you keep.
 
I got married when i was 23 had 2 kids and got divorced at 27...made me a way better person, but it was the hardest thing i had to endure in life...and i agree with CEO it's the company you keep..
 
Wootooom said:
I got married when i was 23 had 2 kids and got divorced at 27...made me a way better person, but it was the hardest thing i had to endure in life...and i agree with CEO it's the company you keep..
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I got married at 22 and am getting divorced at 25 with two kids, I agree about it changing you as a person

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
 
the.gladiator1987 said:
i have a kid but not married, might keep it that way being that i got cheated on by both fiancee's....

Having a kid has changed me already. Im a Mod!
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Sounds to me like your relationship problems are a. Your choice in girls and b. Moving too quickly, considering you're 21 and have had 2 fiancées.
 
I like superdave's thinking and I agree. I'm also in my 30's.. no reason to marry the first person who you 'think' you are in love with. silly. people get married too fast and then wonder why the other person ends up being a jerk.

I dunno why on earth if you are a guy you would get married in your 20's, much less your 30's.

and I agree with CEO.. if you are meeting guys/gals in bars or clubs than don't bitch when they cheat on you or turn into raging alcoholics. meet someone at the gym or the library who has a good head on their shoulders and who isn't mental.

and to V i won't date seriously a women who has kids at my age.. too much drama, I have no desire to be someone else's kids daddy. but I will go on a few dates with them if they are hawt and have fun with them, thats about it.
i know some joker who is living with a divorcee of a doctor with 3 kids.. she lives off the child support and alimony from the sucker doctor she screwed in court. only question is who is the bigger joker? the doughboy who lives with her or the doctor who has to pay half his salary after taxes to her for the next 20 years in alimony?
 
Also, 30 is really the oldest I date but even guys later in their 30s, I wouldn't think not being married says anything negative about a guy. I would maybe reconsider if at 30, he had never had a serious relationship but marriage? No.

I don't see why anybody would negatively judge a man based on his not having made a mistake. Does that make any sense at all?
 
AFeedz said:
Also, 30 is really the oldest I date but even guys later in their 30s, I wouldn't think not being married says anything negative about a guy. I would maybe reconsider if at 30, he had never had a serious relationship but marriage? No.

I don't see why anybody would negatively judge a man based on his not having made a mistake. Does that make any sense at all?
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Because divorce is just seen as another milestone in obtaining a higher self actualization. So, you see, those who have not been married and divorced are emotionally stunted. LOL

Or thats just something people say to euphemize their failures.
 
superdave said:
Freedom > women
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Men get chastised by the greater public for taking this veiwpoint though. Sometimes I think marriage makes people more miserable than they'd be alone. At least men. It's just that they don't want to admit it because it'd make them look like the bad guy. Regardless of what people say, in modern American society, they man is always gets the short end of the stick in a relationship, especially after marriage.

This is coming from someone who's currently engaged and needing to vent.
 
just...v said:
You're choice, I can happily keep my assumption that all men over the age of 30 that have not been married are entirely too selfish to give up their freedom. Therefore are not good for having a relationship with cause it will end up nowhere.
Click to expand...

I'm 32 and am already giving up a considerable amount of my freedom. Not to mention finances down the road with a house, kids, etc. It's mostly for the woman, because they're wired for this stuff a lot more than men, who have far more simple tastes and wants. Extravagant men are either that way to impress women or hide insecurities, and sometimes both.

I'd be willing to be there's not a married guy alive with a shred of sanity left that doesn't, even if only for a moment, wish he was single again.

Although you're 100% right about selfish guys and how they should not get into relationships.

For the rest of us though, we do it because we're willing to sacrifice, as trying as it may be at times.
 
AFeedz said:
Also, 30 is really the oldest I date but even guys later in their 30s, I wouldn't think not being married says anything negative about a guy. I would maybe reconsider if at 30, he had never had a serious relationship but marriage? No.

I don't see why anybody would negatively judge a man based on his not having made a mistake. Does that make any sense at all?
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Agreed....I recently met a 32 year old who had never been in any relationship longer than like six months and that made me go "hmmm" a little bit (he was also a textbook man-child. Not a douche, a real sweety, but really really boyish in a way I used to find charming till I dated someone like that for two years lol).

In this day and age unless you're a woman hell bent on having a bunch of kids, I don't see why there has to be an age marker for when someone should get married. Seems like a recipe for a lot of people getting married because of social pressure instead of because they actually found the right person.
 
AFeedz said:
Also, 30 is really the oldest I date but even guys later in their 30s, I wouldn't think not being married says anything negative about a guy. I would maybe reconsider if at 30, he had never had a serious relationship but marriage? No.

I don't see why anybody would negatively judge a man based on his not having made a mistake. Does that make any sense at all?
Click to expand...

I know that everyone is taking that one post I made as evidence that I think all men that aren't married by a certain age are defective. But honestly, I only said that to provoke Puddz into a conversation. Which, lol, he could see right through.

I don't think that all men that are not married by a certain age are defective. I do think that relationship between me and a man that has never had a long term relationship would not work out. I just think that I wouldn't be compatible with someone who hasn't had some similar experience.
 
just...v said:
I know that everyone is taking that one post I made as evidence that I think all men that aren't married by a certain age are defective. But honestly, I only said that to provoke Puddz into a conversation. Which, lol, he could see right through.

I don't think that all men that are not married by a certain age are defective. I do think that relationship between me and a man that has never had a long term relationship would not work out. I just think that I wouldn't be compatible with someone who hasn't had some similar experience.
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I was just Adding my $.02 in general, it wasn't directed towards you. :)

But I can definitely see how at times, being divorced/a parent may be an important experience to have in a relationship with another parent/divorcee.
 
nefertiti said:
Agreed....I recently met a 32 year old who had never been in any relationship longer than like six months and that made me go "hmmm" a little bit (he was also a textbook man-child. Not a douche, a real sweety, but really really boyish in a way I used to find charming till I dated someone like that for two years lol).

In this day and age unless you're a woman hell bent on having a bunch of kids, I don't see why there has to be an age marker for when someone should get married. Seems like a recipe for a lot of people getting married because of social pressure instead of because they actually found the right person.
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I realized something also, when Ceo said that maybe it was the company I keep. I am friends with two couples that have been together since they were teenagers. I was with my ex since I was a teenager. I have 3 sets of cousins that have married their high school sweethearts and two of my aunties that did the same.

With the exception of me, all of these couples are still together. I look around me and I see people who have been together for what seems like forever. Maybe this helps to show why I have the pov that I have.
 
just...v said:
I realized something also, when Ceo said that maybe it was the company I keep. I am friends with two couples that have been together since they were teenagers. I was with my ex since I was a teenager. I have 3 sets of cousins that have married their high school sweethearts and two of my aunties that did the same.

With the exception of me, all of these couples are still together. I look around me and I see people who have been together for what seems like forever. Maybe this helps to show why I have the pov that I have.
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maybe, but one thing is for sure. It proves that you're a failure. :qt:
 
AFeedz said:
I was just Adding my $.02 in general, it wasn't directed towards you. :)

But I can definitely see how at times, being divorced/a parent may be an important experience to have in a relationship with another parent/divorcee.
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I know :)


I was just to lazy to quote all the other people before you that were kinda saying the same thing. And I'm glad that everyone is giving me a different pov on this cause it's obvious that have had a very different experience than most people.
 
just...v said:
I realized something also, when Ceo said that maybe it was the company I keep. I am friends with two couples that have been together since they were teenagers. I was with my ex since I was a teenager. I have 3 sets of cousins that have married their high school sweethearts and two of my aunties that did the same.

With the exception of me, all of these couples are still together. I look around me and I see people who have been together for what seems like forever. Maybe this helps to show why I have the pov that I have.
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On the flip side I spent 12 years in NY and six years in DC where getting married before thirty was seen as hasty lol. I don't think either is true, I just believe there is no one right answer for everyone on this. Some people should never get married....some should wait. Some are perfectly fine marrying young and having it play out for the rest of their lives. It shows a level of maturity to say no to marriage when it's not right, or not the right time.


PS - can't drop generic bait on a forum and not expect a bunch of us to take a bite ;) <3
 
calveless wonder said:
He's taking a break from being a professional baseball playing, super secret agent spy, competition bodybuilder marine killing machine.

I'd seriously pay to see the explanation he'd give to his wife if he actually did do this.

"I'm going to fight some dude i've never met before because he went on the internet and insulted the girl I'm emotionally cheating on you with who also sends me naked pictures of herself. But don't worry, half the board has seen her naked now too".
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i'm always in the other half of the board...you fucking, fucks :(
 
nefertiti said:
I've got a while before that happens. I still pass for 22/23 :)

I had the opposite experience last week. A 32 y/o guy was talking to me for a while and asked my age. When I told him he was visibly relieved and said, "That makes me feel so much better. I have a 19 year old sister and I was thinking you were around her age."
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i pass for 22+23 :sulk:
 
I hope you have enough room for my fist, so I can ram it into your stomach and rip out your goddamn spine!!!
 
Hydros at work nigga wut, somebody turn on the AC it's hawt in this mutha fucka
 
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