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Past loves (serious thread)

S

sterolizer

Sorry for PartyRocking
Platinum
Ok I'm going to do some venting so bare with me. Please don't flame or make a joke about it. It's a rather sensitive topic for me right now.

I had dated this girl for 4 yrs. She was the first person I had ever really loved, and became very attached to. I was young and immature at the time. I had cheated on her, she found out and we then broke up. I never did get over my feelings for her. And I regret ever cheating on her in the first place. It's been kind of like a fucking curse, knowing I hurt someone I cared about so much and having to live with that feeling.

We haven't talked for years, and just the other week she started talking to me again (for some unknown reason), which has totally began to tear me apart mentally. I still have feelings for her. And she says she misses us but she can't ever trust me again. I've changed since then, I'm a different person now. I'm not that same immature kid that I was when we were dating. But she seems to think that people don't change. It's just really frustrating hearing that she misses "us" being together, but at the same time hearing she doesn't think we can ever be together again. It's just really been a huge mind fcuk for me. I really wish she would give me that chance. And if she doesn't I feel it would almost be easier if we didn't talk again, because I have too much feelings for her still, to still talk and not be apart of her life, I'm finding that really hard to handle.

I just wish she was able to see what I'm willing to do for her, and that she could see through the blinding pains of the past, and see that I really have changed.

Any suggestions? it's really been tearing me apart mentally so please try to be sensitive to the subject
 
Keep talking to her. Ask her if she wants to get some coffee. Somewhere quiet where you guys can talk and not be interrupted. Let her know how you've change but tell her how you actually haven't gotten over her and that you really regret what you did. Guys are stupid when they are young. Just ask her if you guys can take things really slow. Really slow! You will have to be really open with her though. And be aware if you have Facebook that might make her a little uncomfortable.
 
How about you talk to her about these feelings? If she misses you, then it might work out (although the trust will take a long time). Try not to keep on telling her how you've changed. Show her how you've changed.

Or...turn gay.
 
Cheating is very painful, and she seems to have not forgiven you yet. Until she forgives you she will have the perception that people can't change and will continue to do so while she struggles with her inability to forgive. Although what you did was wrong, she does not have any right to continue to punish you and make you feel like a piece of shit while you're not in a relationship with her...lol. If she thinks she can't be with you again then tell her that you can't talk to her then and move on. Just my .02 :)
 
sterolizer said:
Please don't flame or make a joke about it. It's a rather sensitive topic for me right now.
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Inserting [serious thread] does knot make you exempt from the rath of viciousness of C&C


just sayin'
 
Are u sad??
 
I got cheated on when I was married with 2 kids...understanding her stand point, trust is a huge thing to have in a relationship and once you break it, it's really hard to get back, if ever...I would never trust my ex again...ever...
 
cindylou said:
If she thinks she can't be with you again then tell her that you can't talk to her then and move on. Just my .02 :)
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This is exactly what I was thinking, it's just really shitty because she's not willing to see what I'm willing to do for her for things to work. Because she's too caught up in my past mistake. It's hard to grasp that your willing to put yourself out on a limb and the other is too afraid to even take a small step forward. I know I hurt her, I understand her pain, but she seems to frightened to let me near her again.
 
sterolizer said:
This is exactly what I was thinking, it's just really shitty because she's not willing to see what I'm willing to do for her for things to work. Because she's too caught up in my past mistake. It's hard to grasp that your willing to put yourself out on a limb and the other is too afraid to even take a small step forward. I know I hurt her, I understand her pain, but she seems to frightened to let me near her again.
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Maybe she can't get over the thought of some other strumpet's gash sauce dripping from your schlong?
 
Wootooom said:
I got cheated on when I was married with 2 kids...understanding her stand point, trust is a huge thing to have in a relationship and once you break it, it's really hard to get back, if ever...I would never trust my ex again...ever...
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Ya I understand woot. The thing is I was a little shut head 18yr old punk when I did that. It's a little different at a mature age where you have kids together. I've grown into a much more mature person now.
 
1. Wrong forum to ask anything serious. -
2. Dude we had a short convo about this the other day. Ex = not good.
Talking to her is bad news for you. And probably her too.
 
TableFun said:
Maybe she can't get over the thought of some other strumpet's gash sauce dripping from your schlong?
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I'm going to give the full story on what happened. We were fighting a lot one month, I had a job in the city, we were not living together and seeing each other much. I started visiting this other girl, and used our fights as an excuse that I was going to go hang out with this other girl. Now this is the part that kind of sucks. This other girl I was visiting, we were not hooking up, no kissing, touching, or even cuddling.
Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about making that happen. I'm not trying to make excuses, because yes I still cheated and broke her trust by doing that.
 
Stick to just banging broads for the next half decade or so. You don't need to be in a serious relationship at 21.
 
sterolizer said:
I'm going to give the full story on what happened. We were fighting a lot one month, I had a job in the city, we were not living together and seeing each other much. I started visiting this other girl, and used our fights as an excuse that I was going to go hang out with this other girl. Now this is the part that kind of sucks. This other girl I was visiting, we were not hooking up, no kissing, touching, or even cuddling.
Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about making that happen. I'm not trying to make excuses, because yes I still cheated and broke her trust by doing that.
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So you're letting this bish stress you and you didn't even get your pathetic little wiener stinky?


You gotta learn how to get your ho's in line.




just sayin'
 
sterolizer said:
Ok I'm going to do some venting so bare with me. Please don't flame or make a joke about it. It's a rather sensitive topic for me right now.

I had dated this girl for 4 yrs. She was the first person I had ever really loved, and became very attached to. I was young and immature at the time. I had cheated on her, she found out and we then broke up. I never did get over my feelings for her. And I regret ever cheating on her in the first place. It's been kind of like a fucking curse, knowing I hurt someone I cared about so much and having to live with that feeling.

We haven't talked for years, and just the other week she started talking to me again (for some unknown reason), which has totally began to tear me apart mentally. I still have feelings for her. And she says she misses us but she can't ever trust me again. I've changed since then, I'm a different person now. I'm not that same immature kid that I was when we were dating. But she seems to think that people don't change. It's just really frustrating hearing that she misses "us" being together, but at the same time hearing she doesn't think we can ever be together again. It's just really been a huge mind fcuk for me. I really wish she would give me that chance. And if she doesn't I feel it would almost be easier if we didn't talk again, because I have too much feelings for her still, to still talk and not be apart of her life, I'm finding that really hard to handle.

I just wish she was able to see what I'm willing to do for her, and that she could see through the blinding pains of the past, and see that I really have changed.

Any suggestions? it's really been tearing me apart mentally so please try to be sensitive to the subject
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i doubt that the pains of the past are all that blinding for her at this point...most women don't operate that way...they cry about shit and then it's over...caput...done...finito.

as you seem to suggest, you would likely be better off if you didn't talk to her anymore imho.
 
so you didnt actually cheat on her, I see a betrayal but if she cant even forgive the fact you were hanging out with someone then you really need to move on, I thought you had a girlfriend right noe or at least were dating a girl....
If she says she cant be with you she should be talking to you telling you that u hurt her and dangling things from the ast, clearly she's not gonna let it go, start fresh with a new girl.
 
nangiggles said:
so you didnt actually cheat on her, I see a betrayal but if she cant even forgive the fact you were hanging out with someone then you really need to move on, I thought you had a girlfriend right noe or at least were dating a girl....
If she says she cant be with you she should be talking to you telling you that u hurt her and dangling things from the ast, clearly she's not gonna let it go, start fresh with a new girl.
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This
.......
 
digimon7068 said:
i doubt that the pains of the past are all that blinding for her at this point...most women don't operate that way...they cry about shit and then it's over...caput...done...finito.

as you seem to suggest, you would likely be better off if you didn't talk to her anymore imho.
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And this too.
 
dude..when you're thirty you'll barely remember her name

move on
a person not getting over someone hanging out with someone of the opposite sex when things aren't so hot within a relationship and NOT actually cheating (betrayal sure but not the whole deal) sounds like a high maintenance asshat that maybe needs a good deep dicking and a slap on the ass on the way out the door

scuse me but the ex sounds like a moron and you sound unbelievably whipped

jus sayin
 
oh yeah, and there are way bigger betrayals in life....,you're both sheltered idiots
 
shirlene29 said:
dude..when you're thirty you'll barely remember her name

move on
a person not getting over someone hanging out with someone of the opposite sex when things aren't so hot within a relationship and NOT actually cheating (betrayal sure but not the whole deal) sounds like a high maintenance asshat that maybe needs a good deep dicking and a slap on the ass on the way out the door

scuse me but the ex sounds like a moron and you sound unbelievably whipped

jus sayin
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Nicely done!
 
nangiggles said:
so you didnt actually cheat on her, I see a betrayal but if she cant even forgive the fact you were hanging out with someone then you really need to move on, I thought you had a girlfriend right noe or at least were dating a girl....
If she says she cant be with you she should be talking to you telling you that u hurt her and dangling things from the ast, clearly she's not gonna let it go, start fresh with a new girl.
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I'm afraid you couldn't of said it any better. What am I doing stressing over this lol?
 
shirlene29 said:
dude..when you're thirty you'll barely remember her name

move on
a person not getting over someone hanging out with someone of the opposite sex when things aren't so hot within a relationship and NOT actually cheating (betrayal sure but not the whole deal) sounds like a high maintenance asshat that maybe needs a good deep dicking and a slap on the ass on the way out the door

scuse me but the ex sounds like a moron and you sound unbelievably whipped

jus sayin
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You could say so lol I'll admit I'm a little whipped. Thanks for putting my head back on strait
 
Ugh thanks everyone for waking me the fcuk up. What the hell was I thinking. It's straight forward from here she either gets over it or I move on. Easy, I'm not going to waste time anymore trying to fix a betrayal that happened when I was an immature dick head. She either gets over the fact that it happened, or I'm no longer speaking with her and I'm moving on to bigger better things
 
actually,the fact that she is hanging out with you means she's over it or getting there, however the fact she keeps mentioning it means she's robably a bitch who wants to always have the upper hand so you feel like you owe it to her and must compensate her forever, either way this doesnt sound like someone you deserve.
 
nangiggles said:
actually,the fact that she is hanging out with you means she's over it or getting there, however the fact she keeps mentioning it means she's robably a bitch who wants to always have the upper hand so you feel like you owe it to her and must compensate her forever, either way this doesnt sound like someone you deserve.
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She is a bitch, but I like a girl with a bit of fire. But I understand what you mean, what's done is done, and I can't fix that, we can only move forward and not make the same mistakes
 
sterolizer said:
She is a bitch, but I like a girl with a bit of fire. But I understand what you mean, what's done is done, and I can't fix that, we can only move forward and not make the same mistakes
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tell her anything until you tap that ass for old time sakes

then make her walk home
 
sterolizer said:
She is a bitch, but I like a girl with a bit of fire. But I understand what you mean, what's done is done, and I can't fix that, we can only move forward and not make the same mistakes
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Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!

DANGER_WILL_ROBINSON_DANGER_LOST_IN_SPACE.jpg


You're 21. Run. Run fast. Don't look back. Date and have fun. Start thinking about a serious relationship at 30+. And at 30+, don't look at a girl unless she's at least 10 years younger.

You can thank me in advance. The fact that you didn't understand my picture is further proof that you are far too young for anything serious.
 
Well I asked if she would go for coffee or food so we could talk. She said no, and how she really believed we couldn't be together again. So I told her I could no longer talk to her because I need to move on. It didn't end well :( I tried to keep things on a good note, telling her I'll always care about her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. She finished with don't ever call me or text me again... Im sad it ended that way, and I'm still not sure why it did. But it's over with now and it's time to move on
 
sterolizer said:
Well I asked if she would go for coffee or food so we could talk. She said no, and how she really believed we couldn't be together again. So I told her I could no longer talk to her because I need to move on. It didn't end well :( I tried to keep things on a good note, telling her I'll always care about her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. She finished with don't ever call me or text me again... Im sad it ended that way, and I'm still not sure why it did. But it's over with now and it's time to move on
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Its the hardest to do. BUT time heals all wounds

DrOiD BioNiC EF App!
 
sterolizer said:
Well I asked if she would go for coffee or food so we could talk. She said no, and how she really believed we couldn't be together again. So I told her I could no longer talk to her because I need to move on. It didn't end well :( I tried to keep things on a good note, telling her I'll always care about her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. She finished with don't ever call me or text me again... Im sad it ended that way, and I'm still not sure why it did. But it's over with now and it's time to move on
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Because you cheated on her. Now dont you wish you never talked to her at all and let the past be the past?
 
sterolizer said:
Well I asked if she would go for coffee or food so we could talk. She said no, and how she really believed we couldn't be together again. So I told her I could no longer talk to her because I need to move on. It didn't end well :( I tried to keep things on a good note, telling her I'll always care about her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. She finished with don't ever call me or text me again... Im sad it ended that way, and I'm still not sure why it did. But it's over with now and it's time to move on
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See I told you she was a bitch, she probably just got dumped by some dude and needed a puppy love fool to brighten her mood and make her feel nice.... fuck her.... good for you for taking a stand
 
superdave said:
Because you cheated on her. Now dont you wish you never talked to her at all and let the past be the past?
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No I would of changed anything that happened about us talking again, I tried to make things work out, I put myself out there for her, gave it a chance. Even though it ended the way it did, I wouldn't change it.
 
nangiggles said:
See I told you she was a bitch, she probably just got dumped by some dude and needed a puppy love fool to brighten her mood and make her feel nice.... fuck her.... good for you for taking a stand
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I tried to be as nice as I could, I don't know why she became so angry. I wanted to end things on a good note and I told her that. She said "too late" so I just said more kind words to try and end it on a good note. I just wish her last words to me were not "don't ever call or text me again" I finished with "ok... take care <3"
I'm really genuinely a Nice guy, and only wish her the best, and hope that one day she's able to find happiness and move on from the pain I caused her.
 
sterolizer said:
I tried to be as nice as I could, I don't know why she became so angry. I wanted to end things on a good note and I told her that. She said "too late" so I just said more kind words to try and end it on a good note. I just wish her last words to me were not "don't ever call or text me again" I finished with "ok... take care <3"
I'm really genuinely a Nice guy, and only wish her the best, and hope that one day she's able to find happiness and move on from the pain I caused her.
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Yeah, she sounds very unforgiving. She's going to become a bitter old lady if she does not learn how to let shit go. Oh well, it's not your problem now.
 
I'm tired of hearing one side if the story ......Stero get her ass on EF and on this thread ASAP. We can figure out what the malfunction. Is......... bbzznzzbzzzzxx GO HET HER ASS ONLINE

DrOiD BioNiC EF App!
 
sterolizer said:
I'm going to give the full story on what happened. We were fighting a lot one month, I had a job in the city, we were not living together and seeing each other much. I started visiting this other girl, and used our fights as an excuse that I was going to go hang out with this other girl. Now this is the part that kind of sucks. This other girl I was visiting, we were not hooking up, no kissing, touching, or even cuddling.
Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about making that happen. I'm not trying to make excuses, because yes I still cheated and broke her trust by doing that.
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Man I say move on..OK me and u are the same age I went threw something similar but flip the script she was the one seeing another Guy because of out fights..fuck her.hope that dude likes the taste of dick because she was all over mine before him lmao..man she's. Young she doesn't want anything serious ..fuck who the fuck does at our age?? I say fuck relationships.I JUST WANNA GET MY FUCK ON WITHOUT LOVE GETTING IN THE WAY!CAN I GET A AMEN? Man not saying it might not jury but duck her.and u need to harden up.rough it out.life sucks.but don't play yourself ..and never..NEVER be a sideline player..a secounf string Guy..

Sent from my SPH-M820-BST using EliteFitness
 
PICK3 said:
tell her anything until you tap that ass for old time sakes

then make her walk home
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LOL fuck her in the ass hard..make her not shit right for a week.then nut in her face then yell her get dress and get the fuck..wait about 2mins then grab hher by the hair and throw her ass out ur house...make memories lolol

Sent from my SPH-M820-BST using EliteFitness
 
brownbrown said:
I'm tired of hearing one side if the story ......Stero get her ass on EF and on this thread ASAP. We can figure out what the malfunction. Is......... bbzznzzbzzzzxx GO HET HER ASS ONLINE

DrOiD BioNiC EF App!
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This would be awesome. Almost as good as if the CIC joined.
 
Fucking SWV thread!

All this shit and you didn't even cheat on her? WTF? This bitch is a crazy, entitlement minded, whore-cunt. If you can't fuck her again, stay away from her.

You fucking SWV.
 
sterolizer said:
Well I asked if she would go for coffee or food so we could talk. She said no, and how she really believed we couldn't be together again. So I told her I could no longer talk to her because I need to move on. It didn't end well :( I tried to keep things on a good note, telling her I'll always care about her and if she ever needs anything to let me know. She finished with don't ever call me or text me again... Im sad it ended that way, and I'm still not sure why it did. But it's over with now and it's time to move on
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That's your cue to bang at least two of her three best friends. Leave yourself some room for error (or JIC one of them is fat).
 
fuck around but put a cap on it. don't be getting 4 chicks knocked up.

worry about relationships at 30+ if the girl is actually worthy and doesn't have a history of being a slut. 35+ otherwise.

when i was 21 i thought i was in love with my gf too, now looking back UGH she was an ugly and controlling slut. learn not to give a shit about girls right now. focus on your education and career. the quality chicks have high morals and aren't gonna give you what you want right now anyway, so stick with the sluts and worry about finding 'the one' later on.
 
i think the people in the thread who said she should get over it are cheaters

the ones who said it hurts and sucks have been cheated on

just sayin
 
sterolizer said:
I tried to be as nice as I could, I don't know why she became so angry. I wanted to end things on a good note and I told her that. She said "too late" so I just said more kind words to try and end it on a good note. I just wish her last words to me were not "don't ever call or text me again" I finished with "ok... take care <3"
I'm really genuinely a Nice guy, and only wish her the best, and hope that one day she's able to find happiness and move on from the pain I caused her.
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Sounds, to me, like you called her bluff and she got mad. She had a certain level of power and control in hanging that over you and you took that away. I would bet you'll hear from again...just my prediction.

You're a good guy stero...let it go and move on. :)
 
caligirl85 said:
Sounds, to me, like you called her bluff and she got mad. She had a certain level of power and control in hanging that over you and you took that away. I would bet you'll hear from again...just my prediction.

You're a good guy stero...let it go and move on. :)
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this is what I was thinking too

if I were you and really felt something for her. Today i'd text her and say "I wish you well, sorry I hurt you so bad in the past. Take care and nice life"
 
caligirl85 said:
Sounds, to me, like you called her bluff and she got mad. She had a certain level of power and control in hanging that over you and you took that away. I would bet you'll hear from again...just my prediction.

You're a good guy stero...let it go and move on. :)
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Thanks Cali.
 
EarthRider said:
this is what I was thinking too

if I were you and really felt something for her. Today i'd text her and say "I wish you well, sorry I hurt you so bad in the past. Take care and nice life"
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I had already tried my best to end things well. She said to never phone or text her again so till she says differently I will listen to her.
 
EarthRider said:
i think the people in the thread who said she should get over it are cheaters

the ones who said it hurts and sucks have been cheated on

just sayin
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Wrong, she needs to forgive or forget, she cant toy with him regardless of what he did, I have never cheated and I feel this way because what happened between them is immature BS, he didnt even touch another girl... and even if he had she has no right to come into his life and keep bringing it up, WTF does she even want if she doesnt wanna go out with him!? Drama and attention that's what she wants...

EarthRider said:
this is what I was thinking too

if I were you and really felt something for her. Today i'd text her and say "I wish you well, sorry I hurt you so bad in the past. Take care and nice life"
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No, first of all there is no need to puch this further, second of all it's best not to leave that communication door open for her to reply and third of all she asked him not to contact her....
 
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She prob does not realize she's doing it. When you're "in the right" or whatever it's easy to think your shit don't stink and you're so focused on the other person you dont see all your inner bullshit still causing problems. This girl is still stuck on this and stero gets to move on and grow as a person and she is stuck being angry and shitty for basically nothing. Holy shit this girl is gonna end up bitter and angry, people can't and won't always be 100% honest all the time. Life is gonna punch her in the face soon. LOL

I already got your k chris :p lolololo


gross
 
I guess I look at this different. He was in the wrong and broke trust. If a chick cheated on me, I'd kick her ass to the curb and wouldn't ever talk to her again. I figure once someone goes down that road, they will probably do it again. Only thing she did wrong was contact him again.

But, in your case is a lil different. You guys were so young I wouldn't even take the relationship seriously. Anything under 25 I consider fuck buddies with some feelings attached. I'm talking about when people get older.
 
EarthRider said:
I guess I look at this different. He was in the wrong and broke trust. If a chick cheated on me, I'd kick her ass to the curb and wouldn't ever talk to her again. I figure once someone goes down that road, they will probably do it again. Only thing she did wrong was contact him again.

But, in your case is a lil different. You guys were so young I wouldn't even take the relationship seriously. Anything under 25 I consider fuck buddies with some feelings attached. I'm talking about when people get older.
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so my wife is my just my fuck buddy? thanks for clearing that up for me bro
 
zwhit said:
so my wife is my just my fuck buddy? thanks for clearing that up for me bro
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if you don't have kids than yes, lol

i meant it as a general statement, I am sure there are some that find love :D
 
cindylou said:
This girl is still stuck on this and stero gets to move on and grow as a person and she is stuck being angry and shitty for basically nothing. Holy shit this girl is gonna end up bitter and angry, people can't and won't always be 100% honest all the time. Life is gonna punch her in the face soon.
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When I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore because it was too hard for me because she didn't want to be with me, she said "haven't you hurt me enough already" I felt outraged because I have done nothing since talking to her except apologize and ask her to give me a chance to prove myself. I felt like responding in anger because I don't deserve to be made to feel like shit, especially when she's not apart of my life anymore, so I calmed myself down and just responded with care and compassion.
 
Not once a cheater always a cheater. There are always "reasons" for cheating. It's not right, but it happens. The key is, if the person who cheated redeems themselves and does everything in their power to regain trust, then it's worth the effort.
We are human, we are flawed, we fuck up and make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance if they actually prove they have worked on their character.
Regaining trust is really hard, but not impossible.
And ER, I was in a very serious relationship when I was 16 until I was 22, and we had a ton of respect for one another and neither cheated. He's still my best friend today.
My Mom was married to my Dad at 20 and 55 hrs later, they are still together, so age is not a factor at all.
Having said that, in this day and age, 21 is so young. Live a little, enjoy life and don't get caught up too early in the drama.
 
sterolizer said:
When I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore because it was too hard for me because she didn't want to be with me, she said "haven't you hurt me enough already" I felt outraged because I have done nothing since talking to her except apologize and ask her to give me a chance to prove myself. I felt like responding in anger because I don't deserve to be made to feel like shit, especially when she's not apart of my life anymore, so I calmed myself down and just responded with care and compassion.
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People do forget what you've done, but they never forget how you made them feel
 
i never said it can't and wont work, i just said the stats are against you. I was married at 24 and I knew the stats. But I also felt the way I did for my wife, and couldn't imagine being with anybody else, so I went for it and I am happy I did. But, I still think when peeps are so young they should tread the water with caution

now onto the cheating part. eh, this hasn't happen to me so I really don't give a shit anyway :D

blueta2 said:
Not once a cheater always a cheater. There are always "reasons" for cheating. It's not right, but it happens. The key is, if the person who cheated redeems themselves and does everything in their power to regain trust, then it's worth the effort.
We are human, we are flawed, we fuck up and make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance if they actually prove they have worked on their character.
Regaining trust is really hard, but not impossible.
And ER, I was in a very serious relationship when I was 16 until I was 22, and we had a ton of respect for one another and neither cheated. He's still my best friend today.
My Mom was married to my Dad at 20 and 55 hrs later, they are still together, so age is not a factor at all.
Having said that, in this day and age, 21 is so young. Live a little, enjoy life and don't get caught up too early in the drama.
Click to expand...
 
EarthRider said:
i think the people in the thread who said she should get over it are cheaters

the ones who said it hurts and sucks have been cheated on

just sayin
Click to expand...

'cept he never cheated. The other chick was basically his therapist. He sat in front of her and cried about his gf while she listened...only he probably didn't pay her. Maybe she got a free meal or two out of it, I dunno.
 
sterolizer said:
No I would of changed anything that happened about us talking again, I tried to make things work out, I put myself out there for her, gave it a chance. Even though it ended the way it did, I wouldn't change it.
Click to expand...

Im not talking about never have known her, im talking about this current back and forth stuff.
 
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