Partner is getting fat and affecting our relationship?

[SteelWeaver]

Sometimes love just isn't enough.

 

[SteelWeaver]

Yeah. It's all about girth.

lol. ha ha - well, I was referring more to, you know, mental and emotional stuff, but in the end it all boils down to ways of thinking, ways of living, ways of being, ways of knowing, ways of feeling, ..... and the internal and external expression of those ...

 

[takniteasy]

I believe that every relationship is one step closer to the one that we ultimately commit to, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, etc. If you find you are not compatible any longer, either emotionally or physically AND you have not made a life long commitment, then you should end the relationship and move on. What you have learned from this relationship you will take with you into your future relationships, so let there be positive lessons learned. Besides, who is to say that your paths wont cross again in the future, giving you the opportunity for a greater relationship?

Good luck and hope all works out for the best!

 

[FitFossil]

Physical attraction is often what brings a couple together, but shared values are a major factor in keeping a couple together. It takes some time to discover what each others' values are. Those values can be anything from honesty, a strong work ethic, how to raise children, how to handle money, common goals, etc. The more aligned a couple is on their values, the stronger the relationship.

I don't think valuing appearance (within reason) is necessarily selfish, especially when it coincides with taking care of one's health. Even if we're not blessed with supermodel looks (and 99% of us weren't ), I still think it's a positive trait for someone to take pride in himself or herself.

 

[jnuts]

I can relate, I've been married 7 years have 2 children age 5 and 2. My husband used to rollerblade and worked out when we met. I have always worked out and taught fitness so its in my blood even after having babies. He has more or less fell off the band wagon, he always says he wants to get back into it but no time etc. He finally quit chewing snuff 3 weeks ago do to my persisting how bad it was to his health and smelly etc. I'm really trying to be positive about the quiting chewing, but as far as exercising I can't make him be someone I want him to be, I would love it if we worked out together but the more I push the more he resists and we get into an argument.

I'm trying to let him be who he is and accept that we have grown apart in this area, I just hope as I get into more it won't push us further apart. I just wanted to add my 2 cents.

Mrs. JNUTS

 

[BigD50]

Just break up with her. Women have a funny way of losing weight when you dump them. Then maybe she'll pull her head out of her....comfort zone. Smoking is also my biggest turn off in a woman. My friend just went through all this. He was married, has 2 kids, bought a nice house, etc. His wife was a fat slob. He never complained about it once in 5 years. Finally he couldn't keep it inside any longer and walked. He said he feels so much better. Guess what, his wife decided now after all that time to lose weight. Now she is slimming down and going out all the time. Dude, if I was you since your so young, get rid of the old lady and start hooking up with some of those young little hotties at the gym. You will feel like a new man. You'll be so horny and the test levels will go through the roof after getting with a young little horny hardbody. Sorry, this may not be what you all want to hear, but it's honest and for the most part I think how most guys think. My opinion only.

 

[jnuts]

This is kind of off the subject, but does your SO argue about all the $$ you spend for supplements etc. we go back and forth on this all the time! BUT, it seems when he wants to shell out $$ for what he likes its done. This is my only vice that I spend money one and I try and pay for it by teaching Aerobic classes. I do pay a trainer which can get pricey but hopefully I'll lift on my own in a month.

Thats all! I'm done venting

 

[ATrollFromTheFatBoard]

BigD50:

You write as if everyone on the planet can just "decide" to lose weight, and -- presto-chango!!! Pamela Anderson, here we come!!

I have "decided" to lose weight about eight times in my life. Even "succeeded" once or twice. Guess what? The weight came back, and then some. For some people, it just isn't as easy as it apparently is for you. And the more we obsess about what we LOOK like, the harder it is.

There are some things I'm just not willing to go through for an attitude like yours. Three hours in the gym every day, just so some shallow person can LOOK at me and decide that I'm OK to spend time with?? I've gone through lots of stuff in my life and am a 100% better partner now, AND I'm also heavier.

People make the mistake of thinking that just because a body measures this, this, and this, and looks thus-and-such a way, that tells you all you need to know about someone. And that's exactly what it is, it's a mistake.

I don't care what you look like. I've developed enough respect for myself to throw someone with an attitude like yours back, sight-UNseen.

 

[msboss]

I'll try and shorten this up and it may be nothing more than I'm shallow (which some people have told me) and insensitive. My girlfriend and I met about three years ago and we both smoked, were in the worst shape of our lives and just lived an unhealthy lifestyle. During that time I decided I wanted to get back into shape - we had both been into sports/recreational activities all our lives and I thought it really bugged both of us.

So I eventually quit smoking and got back into really good shape. It took along time and so I tried to be patient with her as well. She always says she's going to quit smoking and start working out but it never happens. And now it's getting to the point where I'm completely physically unattracted to her and I can't stand laying next to her when she smells like smoke. I've tried to explain the smoking thing, tried to get her on the patch and medication, tried positive reinforcement with working out and nutrition, and I took up the sports she used to be good at in an attempt to get her into stuff she was into. Then I tried a slow approach and just tried to get her to walk - but all of this has failed.

Maybe I am shallow and should just love her for who she is - but it's hard when I don't even want to hug her. I mean she's not overly obese - maybe 5'6 165? BF unsure about...but I am completely physically unattracted to her. During the summer I didn't even want to go to the beach or anywhere with her. Should I just break it off and do my own thing? It's gotten particularly bad within the last 6 months now that I work at two gyms - one of which is kind of a trendy pick up place type. Opinions or suggestions would really help me here.

It's hard to decide in a situation like yours. You don't want to be a jerk but yet you need to be true to yourself. It sounds as if you have really tried to involve your girkfriend in your activities. Sometimes couples can grow apart. You should sit down and write out a list of whats important to you in a partner and see where that leads you. I'm sure you'll find your answers there.
It's give and take. I can't believe that she won't even go for a walk with you. Take care. MSBOSS

 

[Frackal]

Dump her today