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oicu812 - chargeback
Guest
thanks for the advice!!!!!
i have heard of alot but never a shower head.. that's new to me!!
i have heard of alot but never a shower head.. that's new to me!!
The_Monster
New member
Here it is in a nutshell (heh heh, no pun intended... but still 
). And you dont need to answer this or you can answer in a PM if you feel the need. Take it from me, I am on a position to know the answers to thses types of questions...
Ok, here we go.
First, forget about having a man that is "good". It doesnt matter one bit if he is good, great or wonderful, that is completly beside the point and pretty much irrelevant.
Which brings us to the heart of the story. One question. Do you masturbate? If not you should.
If you dont know how to make yourself have an orgasm, no man no matter how good he might be will be able to. He might get luck now and then but it will not be something you can rely on.
You need to know how to please yourself before anyone else can please you.
It doesnt happen overnight, but it can and will happen, it takes practice just like anything else. Dont let any doctor bullshit you into anything, there is no medical reason not to have an orgasm, it is something that is learned. Some girls start to "explore" themselves very young, and they inadvertantly learn this skill early on. Others never do.
Wife 2 taught wife 1 how to do it. I tried to tell her this same advice for years, but I guess she didnt trust it coming from a man? Now she is learning to please herself, and it makes the entire sexual experiance more gratifiying for her.
The same goes for increasing a persons sexuality/libido.
Heres what you do (if I might be so bold as to say).
#1. your boyfriend must have NO part in this. Not watching, not listening, not even in the same house if it can be avoided. (I dont know your circumstances) I dont mean it should be a "secret", because one of the things we want to do is erase the stigma around masturbation and sexuality.
#2. youll need to figure out what works best for you. Everyone is different. Mabye a showerhead, mabye not. Think about buying a vibrator or two (the wives have probobly 20 or more between them), I can suggest the best ones so you dont waste your money if thats a route you want to take (you should).
Some women prefer only clitoral stimulation, some like penetration, some like both at the same time (wife one likes only clitoral, wife 2 NEEDS both). Just figure out what works best for you.
#3. Make a commitment to set aside some time every day or every other day to "practice". If you need something like erotic stories, pictures, pornography, whatever, then have it available when you need it. (dont even think of being ashamed. If you knew what some of the members on this board were into youd fall over from shock... but its all good
)
#4. during this "practice" time have all the things you need available and find a quiet private place to be. Somewhere where you dont need to worry about someone barging in. Shut the ringer on the phone off... prepare yourself to be totally relaxed.
Then do it. Get a feel for your body, how you feel, what feels good to you, let your imagination run wild and just enjoy yourself. If you dont have an orgasm the first session, dont be discouraged, it isnt neccesarily an overnight thing. It takes time.
My first breakthrough with wife 1 was years ago, and it went kind of backwards. I knew she had a hard time having an orgasm, so I introduced her to sex toys. I discovered she needed the vibrator AND... hmm... Im trying to think of a proper term, but I guess the only one is "dildo"? After a long while she had an easier time acheiving an orgasm, but still a hard time.
Thats when wife 2 convinced her to masturbate and learn to orgasm. (wife 2 can orgasm within probobly 5 minutes of starting intercourse and can have multiples... so shes the one to trust )
Since then wife 1 can actually have an orgasm through intercourse and has had several from oral. So trust me, this technique works. Wife 1 had dome the whole doctor thing to try and find out what was wrong, and they ran the whole gamut from hormonal imbalance to a dozen other maladies.
Most people are so pent up from living daily life that they never really relax and learn to enjoy themselves. When you couple that with the stigmas attached to sex in our culture, its a wonder anyone even bothers to have sex at all?
So try it. Get comfortable and let loose, think every nasty thought youve ever wanted to think, fantasize, get kinky... unlease your inner slut!
Im tired right now, so if Ive been unclear or anything, or if you want to ask something ans arent comfortable asking on here, just PM me or email me. Ive been with someone in the exact same situation youre in. I know how she felt, and I know what youre going through, so trust in my experiance and the experiance of two women who have let go of their preconcieved notions about sex.
(I hope this doesnt go to the other board. I think it would be trivialized over there...)
). And you dont need to answer this or you can answer in a PM if you feel the need. Take it from me, I am on a position to know the answers to thses types of questions...Ok, here we go.
First, forget about having a man that is "good". It doesnt matter one bit if he is good, great or wonderful, that is completly beside the point and pretty much irrelevant.
Which brings us to the heart of the story. One question. Do you masturbate? If not you should.
If you dont know how to make yourself have an orgasm, no man no matter how good he might be will be able to. He might get luck now and then but it will not be something you can rely on.
You need to know how to please yourself before anyone else can please you.
It doesnt happen overnight, but it can and will happen, it takes practice just like anything else. Dont let any doctor bullshit you into anything, there is no medical reason not to have an orgasm, it is something that is learned. Some girls start to "explore" themselves very young, and they inadvertantly learn this skill early on. Others never do.
Wife 2 taught wife 1 how to do it. I tried to tell her this same advice for years, but I guess she didnt trust it coming from a man? Now she is learning to please herself, and it makes the entire sexual experiance more gratifiying for her.
The same goes for increasing a persons sexuality/libido.
Heres what you do (if I might be so bold as to say).
#1. your boyfriend must have NO part in this. Not watching, not listening, not even in the same house if it can be avoided. (I dont know your circumstances) I dont mean it should be a "secret", because one of the things we want to do is erase the stigma around masturbation and sexuality.
#2. youll need to figure out what works best for you. Everyone is different. Mabye a showerhead, mabye not. Think about buying a vibrator or two (the wives have probobly 20 or more between them), I can suggest the best ones so you dont waste your money if thats a route you want to take (you should).
Some women prefer only clitoral stimulation, some like penetration, some like both at the same time (wife one likes only clitoral, wife 2 NEEDS both). Just figure out what works best for you.
#3. Make a commitment to set aside some time every day or every other day to "practice". If you need something like erotic stories, pictures, pornography, whatever, then have it available when you need it. (dont even think of being ashamed. If you knew what some of the members on this board were into youd fall over from shock... but its all good
)#4. during this "practice" time have all the things you need available and find a quiet private place to be. Somewhere where you dont need to worry about someone barging in. Shut the ringer on the phone off... prepare yourself to be totally relaxed.
Then do it. Get a feel for your body, how you feel, what feels good to you, let your imagination run wild and just enjoy yourself. If you dont have an orgasm the first session, dont be discouraged, it isnt neccesarily an overnight thing. It takes time.
My first breakthrough with wife 1 was years ago, and it went kind of backwards. I knew she had a hard time having an orgasm, so I introduced her to sex toys. I discovered she needed the vibrator AND... hmm... Im trying to think of a proper term, but I guess the only one is "dildo"? After a long while she had an easier time acheiving an orgasm, but still a hard time.
Thats when wife 2 convinced her to masturbate and learn to orgasm. (wife 2 can orgasm within probobly 5 minutes of starting intercourse and can have multiples... so shes the one to trust
)Since then wife 1 can actually have an orgasm through intercourse and has had several from oral. So trust me, this technique works. Wife 1 had dome the whole doctor thing to try and find out what was wrong, and they ran the whole gamut from hormonal imbalance to a dozen other maladies.
Most people are so pent up from living daily life that they never really relax and learn to enjoy themselves. When you couple that with the stigmas attached to sex in our culture, its a wonder anyone even bothers to have sex at all?
So try it. Get comfortable and let loose, think every nasty thought youve ever wanted to think, fantasize, get kinky... unlease your inner slut!
Im tired right now, so if Ive been unclear or anything, or if you want to ask something ans arent comfortable asking on here, just PM me or email me. Ive been with someone in the exact same situation youre in. I know how she felt, and I know what youre going through, so trust in my experiance and the experiance of two women who have let go of their preconcieved notions about sex.
(I hope this doesnt go to the other board. I think it would be trivialized over there...)
When I very first saw this thread I somehow knew that the best and most thorough answer would come from no less that MONSTER. Think you should post the "Monster's guide to the best and worst sex toy's of 2002". I also agree that a bit of alcohol (just a bit) can take the edge off.
A coupld of other things that I wanted to add - the smallest things can keep you from being relaxed enough. For me the TV in the bedroom has to be OFF - I know it sounds strange but there is just something about it that messes with me. The fear of someone walking in is another - everything was fine for us until our daughter got a bit older and all of a sudden I was uptight, it finally came down to the fact that we did not have a lock on the bedroom door and I was worrying about her walking in on us (it took a good deal of thought to fiigure that out). It took my husband no time at all to have a deadbolt on that baby - end of problem.
The other thing that has not been mentioned here and I think it is important is that I have yet to talk to a woman that engages in anal stimulation that does not get off from it. I am not talking full fledged anal sex right out the gate as that is something that needs to be worked up to and there is a good guide on the Sheets board for it. It is something that you may want to explore.
When it comes time to add the boyfriend into this keep in mind that he may be perfect and caring and wonderful but tht does not necessarily mean that he will instinctively know how to get you off. You will probably need to teach him and that requires total honesty. I know there is a girfriend somewhere in my husband's past that I really need to send flowers and a thank-you card to.
A coupld of other things that I wanted to add - the smallest things can keep you from being relaxed enough. For me the TV in the bedroom has to be OFF - I know it sounds strange but there is just something about it that messes with me. The fear of someone walking in is another - everything was fine for us until our daughter got a bit older and all of a sudden I was uptight, it finally came down to the fact that we did not have a lock on the bedroom door and I was worrying about her walking in on us (it took a good deal of thought to fiigure that out). It took my husband no time at all to have a deadbolt on that baby - end of problem.
The other thing that has not been mentioned here and I think it is important is that I have yet to talk to a woman that engages in anal stimulation that does not get off from it. I am not talking full fledged anal sex right out the gate as that is something that needs to be worked up to and there is a good guide on the Sheets board for it. It is something that you may want to explore.
When it comes time to add the boyfriend into this keep in mind that he may be perfect and caring and wonderful but tht does not necessarily mean that he will instinctively know how to get you off. You will probably need to teach him and that requires total honesty. I know there is a girfriend somewhere in my husband's past that I really need to send flowers and a thank-you card to.
O
oicu812 - chargeback
Guest
Monster: you know, whenever i got brave enough to post this-- i had this thought in the back of my head that if anyone would have great input on this that it would be you!!!because you have two ladies yourself.. i figured you'd have to have knowledge on this!!! THANKS so much for the info!!!! ( note: i went internet shopping the other night and purchased sex toys, know i am sitting at the door waiting... lol)
Temple & Star : thanks so much...it's great to get info from other women
Temple & Star : thanks so much...it's great to get info from other women
sista there are quite a few women that need direct clit stimutaion with a finger during intercourse in order to reach orgasm and I don't care how good he is with his member. Also has your man used the tongue? This always works...really
If he doesn't do it then he is an ass
If he doesn't do it then he is an assGladiola said:
"Quite a few" - I always had the impression the vast majority needed clit stimulation???I actually thought the strictly vaginal orgasm was a rarity.
I think the figure is around 30 % need direct stimulation ALL THE TIME in order to reach orgasm. But I would agree that most women..perhaps close to 100%.. need direct stimulation frequently enough for it to be a must need tool in the bedroom.
fact is we men aren't as good as we think
Gladiola
New member
I dunno, I disagree there. I don't think the reason women can't usually climax from intercourse alone is b/c men 'aren't good enough'. It's just the way our bodies are made! Heck, when you think about it, how sensitive SHOULD that part of the body be that's really built for a baby to come OUT?Realgains said:fact is we men aren't as good as we think
Just philosophizing on female anatomy....VeggieLifterChick
New member
Realgains, Doll, actually the figure you meant was that only 30% of women can come WITHOUT clitoral stimulation. I also disagree with monster that the man shouldnt be there. I still think you should have him on the phone or next to you telling you how to pleasure yourself if you dont know. I really didnt know what to do until he started telling me. Now, Monster, what is this multiple wife situation??? Are you a Mormon? Do your wives get with eachother, like is this one of those relationships where its one big orgy? Or do you own a harem or something? Why are they into being one of many? Do they each have like 3 husbands too?
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