Nothing's got better

[AMGETR]

As a few of you guys know, I broke up with my girlfriend last August. Then we got back together a month later and she dumped me on our Anniversary 2 months later. Reason was I caught her cheating.

Then 3 months later we got back together again, and she moved in with me. I was out of town, but she was at the place. A week before I got home, she dumped me again because I found out she brought a guy back to my place.

Now, it's almost 2 months and still nothing is better. I haven't been able to find a girl to replace her in any way at all. Every time I go to a club I either leave empty handed, or with some girl that I don't care about.

Everyone tells me "it's for the best." "things will get better", but yet, nothing has gotten better. I still miss my ex so dearly, even after all the heartache.

When does life start getting better? Cause I'm at the point where I want to call her, or text her, and just tell her I miss her. She has a new rebound boyfriend, the guy is a real loser (I know him).

 

[Wulfgar]

Bro
I feel ya
my story is at least 10 times worse than yours

accept the fact you will ALWAYS miss her and your heart will always ache for what could have been if she had of chosen more wisely. Dont let your emotions control your actions. they are just a part of you. not you.
it sounds cliche but things will get better, in time.

 

[Naeem]

It can take up to a year man, maybe longer depending on how much you loved her and she you - not gonna beat the bush on that. Any guy thats loved a girl DEEPLY will probably agree.

Just try to be open minded and objective on other girls you meet and not compare them to her, no girl will (or maybe even should) fill her shoes. Let her go, and yeah like the cliche goes....itll get better in time

 

[Sean Scott]

I am going through the same thing, hang in there. try to focus on your training and keep that up front. Its important to take care of your self during this time. Don't let up on your diet/sleep/training. work some overtime to keep your mind off of the subject for a time and before you know it, you will be comfortable with the fact that you are now free to do what you want when you want. And remember you are not alone there are many people who are going through this right now and yes your furture girl friend my be feeling just like you right now.

 

[Wulfgar]

amazing how many scandalous women there are out there
boggles my mind
i guess we are all tested

 

[mrplunkey]

Just be careful and don't dwell on what "could" have been in the relationship. She was cheating on you -- it's that simple.

A lot of times people mourn the loss of a relationship relative to what it "could" have been or based on what it felt like during those magical 10-20 minutes of "connecting" they'd experience per week. Don't mourn that shit, because it's not real. Now if there is something specific... a specific place you guys went to, a movie you always rented, something physical you did -- now that can be real. But otherwise, if you can't put your finger on a specific thing you are missing you may just be missing what "could have been" -- and cut that shit out.

 

[ortiz34]

Every day bro, it gets a tiny bit better. You need to stop trying to replace her, and DO NOT blame yourself. She cheated, I remember when you first broke up you spoke of her saying you did this, did that blah, blah, friggan blah. That's all just her way of shifting the blame of her cheating on to you. Trust me bro, I married my girlfriend of 7 years, and four months into our marriage caught her cheating. I did the same as you, went out to the bars, porked some phatties, yada, yada. Focus on YOU, and what you want in your next relationship and how you can become a better partner. This is a learning experience for you bro, and you are lucky to get it at such an early age.

Her cheating says ten fold about who she is, rather than who you are.

 

[AMGETR]

We had our own movie together, we had a song together, a restaurant, a flower, a nickname that actually meant something to us and no one else knew what it meant, the list goes on.

I've become socially horrible with talking to girls after my ex. I can't talk to them anymore like I used to. When I was with my ex before, I could talk to them just like regular people, like guys. But now, I look at them and see nothing but a pain that they will bring on to me. A pain I don't ever want to go through again.

I went on the R6 tonight trying to get my mind off her, to soon realize that riding with her on my mind wasn't the safest thing. I went home. I walked around town and just stood still, looked at the stars and all my memories of "us" came back.

I know what could have been, I don't worry about what could have come, I mourn what I lost. I mourn being happy. I had a hard childhood, not even my closest friends know my real childhood because I moved when I was in the 5th grade. Basically, it didn't matter my school, my work, my funds, my friends, health, I was always missing something that made me complete. When I met her-- she filled the void. I was happy now. Now, I'm just that empty man I used to be except with heartache, and I have lost faith and trust in the opposite sex.

Tonight I wanted to text her. Maybe just a "hi", or a "I miss you". But I stopped myself. The last time I texted her was a month ago regarding the pet we used to have together (she took it with her when we broke up) because he's due in for his shots. I never got a reply or anything from her. That hurt.

There is a chance she is going to read this thread. She knows I'm a member here, and she has a username here, comes on in a blue moon. But I can't hide what I feel.

 

[megamania500]

We had our own movie together, we had a song together, a restaurant, a flower, a nickname that actually meant something to us and no one else knew what it meant, the list goes on.

I've become socially horrible with talking to girls after my ex. I can't talk to them anymore like I used to. When I was with my ex before, I could talk to them just like regular people, like guys. But now, I look at them and see nothing but a pain that they will bring on to me. A pain I don't ever want to go through again.

I went on the R6 tonight trying to get my mind off her, to soon realize that riding with her on my mind wasn't the safest thing. I went home. I walked around town and just stood still, looked at the stars and all my memories of "us" came back.

I know what could have been, I don't worry about what could have come, I mourn what I lost. I mourn being happy. I had a hard childhood, not even my closest friends know my real childhood because I moved when I was in the 5th grade. Basically, it didn't matter my school, my work, my funds, my friends, health, I was always missing something that made me complete. When I met her-- she filled the void. I was happy now. Now, I'm just that empty man I used to be except with heartache, and I have lost faith and trust in the opposite sex.

Tonight I wanted to text her. Maybe just a "hi", or a "I miss you". But I stopped myself. The last time I texted her was a month ago regarding the pet we used to have together (she took it with her when we broke up) because he's due in for his shots. I never got a reply or anything from her. That hurt.

There is a chance she is going to read this thread. She knows I'm a member here, and she has a username here, comes on in a blue moon. But I can't hide what I feel.

Yup, your going through what many of us have gone through when ending a relationship. You may have not wanted it to end, and that is the hardest part to accept that its over. Don't get into the mode of thinking that your life is only going one of two ways: either being happy with her, or unhappy without her. Realize that there is a third option: being happy without her. Remember that its not HER that is bringing you down, its your FEELINGS for her that is. Realize that she can do whatever she wants, because it isn't her that is hurting you. Its your feelings for her that are causing you pain. Get rid of the FEELINGS for her, and your on the road to recovery. For me, once I saw it this way, it helped me tremendously through a difficult time. I worked on my FEELINGS, and dealt with them instead of what she did with herself. I hope this realization will help you as much as it did me.

 

[marshallmadman]

DUDE!!!! Wake up. She is making you feel like this because she is "rejecting" you. It is amplifying your feelings of need. Stay away from getting involved with women at all for a while. Don't make the mistake I did. I got involved with absolutely the woman of my dreams but couldn't make myself love her because I was still hung up on my ex just like you are. Pretty much same scenario. Keep to yourself. Focus on lifting. I know it doesn't help, but, time DOES heal all wounds.