wow this is a big post
not in any order...
1. tired of being fat, aesthetic reasons
2. being fat put me in a higher up weight class in PLing and basically made my lifts look worse because I weighed more
3. had just grown out of the 198's and didnt want to compete at the bottom of the 220's
4. better health
5. needed a break from heavy lifting
to put it into perspective imagine having a really hot wife. She is so hot you get compliments from other dudes and girls all the time but for some reason you and her cannot have sex or anything of the sort. People are always saying wow it must be awesome to fuck her but you know you never have done. If you always say no its not really that awesome then people think you are just fishing for more compliments. Eventually you have to split up with the wife which sucks at the time but when its all sorted and you find a new gf/wife maybe not as hot you can start fucking her and it will be better in the long run.
well my situation was like that. I was big and people couldnt really tell I was fat so everyone was always saying how big i was and stuff and I got quite alot of compliments, and people said wow it must feel so good to be big and stuff but for me it wasnt, even though I was big I couldnt do anything with it, I couldnt show it off because I looked like shit without a shirt on. I looked good in the gym when I was lifting but when my shirt came up and my belly hung out it didnt look good lol. So on the surface to other people everyone thought it was awesome but it really wasnt and no one really understood. It was like having the hot wife but really she's hot for no reason because you cant put it to any use. I looked good in a hoodie but not much else lol. And my waist size was getting bigger. When I said to people Im really not that good looking Im pretty fat they were like "omg no your not!" and i would sound like a girl if I was always saying oooh im so fat lol.
long winded explanation but I hope you get it now lol. Im not that much better off now but my waist size has dropped alot and Im still getting smaller, granted when I wear my hoodies I no longer look as imposing and stick out in public as much but Im putting up with that for now, it kills me and makes me not want to go out the house lol.