Right. Cause I totally encouraged him. Please son, go date, have sex early, make me a grandma!!
Do you honestly think I'm gonna hand him condoms and tell him to do it with my blessings? Do you think I haven't had the "sex is a big decision" convo with him?
And he does love her. Call it what you want, puppy love, first love, fucking infatuation, I don't care. Unfortunately there are some strong feelings there. I hoped that when I moved across town they would grow apart but it had quite the opposite effect.
Him having a girlfriend this young is not something I wanted.
I didn't mean to imply that this is the situation because of your lack of action as a parent. I didn't mean that at all.
He may have strong feelings for her, I get that. Those feelings are real.
Here's the bottom line.
I went through this very situation with my cousin. He was strongly attached emotionally, and his parents decided to allow him to be with her because of that, trusting he'd be responsible. Guess what? He wasn't. I knew that the whole time and warned my aunt about it because I knew everything. Now, he regrets it strongly and it has had a real negative impact on him emotionally.
Look, you are his mother. You love your son. You know that immature sexual relationships are a no-no. It is your duty as a parent to put your foot up his ass because it's the best thing for him whether he likes it or not. And right now, he'll be pissed about it, but later on he'll thank you.
Teenagers love independence and they want to earn parents trust and they don't want to be overprotected. That doesn't mean you stand by the wayside while your kid messes up. I know you aren't doing that, which is good, but you need to be overprotective when you know your kid is in a bad spot, because honestly he's too immature to make this decision with sound rationality and responsibility. Teenagers, especially younger ones, are mentally incapable of making consistent and thought out choices like an adult.
If it were me, his amount of time spent with her will be limited, and always supervised. No permitting of being alone together behind a closed door.
I'm also not saying you should suffocate him. You are the most qualified person to know the correct balance of how to deal with the situation because you know your son better than anyone else, but enforce your rules and stick to them without leniency. Also, have strict consequences if he breaks the rules and communicate what that will be to him beforehand.