Morons at the gym (the official thread)...

[EnderJE]

It's cologne - NOT A MARINADE!

If I have perfume on at the gym it's because I had it on before changing for the gym. (IE: go to gym right after work)

lmao...marinade...I like that...I'll tell'em that when I see that guy again.

 

[Iliketolift]

Some people on the eliptical look so rediculous when they go fast, you know what i mean.

 

[silver_shadow]

another thing i did once was i went to lift at like 6am back when i was like 19 at the same gym and i had sweat pants on and a cellphone in my right pocket and i put my cd player in the other pocket and went to do pullups and my fuckin pants fell off during like the 3rd one and my dick was hangin out of the little slit in my boxers. the fuckin cd player fell from the headphones and i was like dangling with headphones on with my dick hangin out. i dont think anyone really seen it but jesus christ it was ridiculous.

too funny... k to you.

 

[tgriff]

Oh, I love the wife beater wearing shadow boxer!!! he is present at every gym. if you are lucky enough to have a gym with an empty aerobics room, you can catch the older version of shadow boxer in there practicing his "kata." or find his enlightened new age brother doing "tai chi." its gone so far as that I've seen mr. shadowboxer throw a few jabs, then practice his dance moves.

oh yeah.....ass clowns everywhere....

LMFAO

 

[markshark]

theres this really old guy that goes to my gym now and he does like 40 minutes of stretching and warmups before his workout, if he even does one. i dont think ive ever stayed in the gym long enough to see him do a workout, but he wears a yellow shirt, testicle-high khaki shorts and knee socks and old white asics shoes with shit all over them. he does this one thing where its like a leg raise stretch and it goes on for like 10 minutes, he just keeps his legs straight up in the air and lays there and his legs go back further and further everytime til his sack falls out of one of his shorts. i think he has to be around 80.

 

[*Bunny*]

theres this really old guy that goes to my gym now and he does like 40 minutes of stretching and warmups before his workout, if he even does one. i dont think ive ever stayed in the gym long enough to see him do a workout, but he wears a yellow shirt, testicle-high khaki shorts and knee socks and old white asics shoes with shit all over them. he does this one thing where its like a leg raise stretch and it goes on for like 10 minutes, he just keeps his legs straight up in the air and lays there and his legs go back further and further everytime til his sack falls out of one of his shorts. i think he has to be around 80.

lol Guess even dem old bawls need some air sometimes ... what a friggin site lol

 

[silver_shadow]

theres this really old guy that goes to my gym now and he does like 40 minutes of stretching and warmups before his workout, if he even does one. i dont think ive ever stayed in the gym long enough to see him do a workout, but he wears a yellow shirt, testicle-high khaki shorts and knee socks and old white asics shoes with shit all over them. he does this one thing where its like a leg raise stretch and it goes on for like 10 minutes, he just keeps his legs straight up in the air and lays there and his legs go back further and further everytime til his sack falls out of one of his shorts. i think he has to be around 80.

ROFL.... had me in splits... but you have to be making these up

 

[victorreed]

I used to go to a YMCA community gym. You get all these 15 year old kids in singlets rocking up in packs and trying everything in the centre and making a tonne of noise.
I was on the leg-press, a fairly easy exercise which can be deceptive with the amount of weight it looks like your doing. I'm not a huge looking guy, especially upper body, but my legs are deceptively strong because of martial arts training. So i had 7, 44lbs weights on each side (14 altogther ) and i was just going about pressing minding my own business. Anyway these kids, must of been 6 of them ALL in singlets, started talking very loudly about using steroids.
They were all using machines around me and yelling across to eachother in particularly loud voices saying things like "steroids shink your balls" and "i'd hate to take steroids" and then the biggest knob of them all, most likely the ringleader...well i dunno if he thought i was blind or not but he points at me and goes "...like that guy there" and points straight at me. So i locked off the press and walked over to him and just stood there and watched him struggle to do the seated row at 33lbs and when he was struggling majorly on his last rep i said "let me help you" and pulled it down with my index finger and said to him "since your the expert on steroids you should seriously consider looking into buying some because you need them"...i havn't seen a single one of them since.

 

[blut wump]

A guy I was working out with found a good way to dispel the noisy kids. He asked them to pass his DB's up for him for some incline work. It was hilarious to see them struggling two to a DB while he was 'encouraging' them with "come on lads get a move on it's not heavy. Hurry up, I'm going cold".

 

[Jim Ouini]

I think I got your 'kah...kah...kah...' guy beat. The other day there was some PT doing some leg press/lat pulldown/hammer strength chest press circuit and each rep he was doing some loud version of the valsalva technique: 'HSSSSSSAAAAH...HSSSSSSAAAH...HSSSSAAAH'. Sounded like a basket full of cobras.