Married men: what's the longest you've gone w/o sex?

[Forge]

What’s the longest amount of time a husband should have to go without sex from the wife? Or rather I guess, is no sex a good enough reason to get divorced?

I’ve got a buddy who is thinking of doing just that, leaving his wife because she hasn’t put out in almost a month now. It’s more than just that though. They don’t have kids, she has worked two full time jobs for the past few years, 80-90 hours a week. She gets to have off every other Sunday and Saturday afternoon, so they don’t get a whole lot of together time. Her life pretty much consists of working, eating, and sleeping. Recently she has simply not been in the mood for sex, and before that they only had sex once a week or so (for a few years now). He’s pretty sure she isn’t cheating on him (I’m not so convinced) and she tells him that she still loves him, but she just has no sex drive. And this girl used to really like sex when they first got married. He thinks she is just so stressed out that her sex drive is gone.

I told him he should give her a choice, either quit one of the jobs or get a divorce. He hasn’t been happy in quite some time, and he’s still young and only married five years, so starting over wouldn’t be too bad. I told him I wouldn’t stay married in a situation like that.

Do you guys think I was too harsh on him? Is sex really that important in a marriage, or can you have love and happiness without sex?

 

[Badbart]

I went 6 months, don't ever do that. I was one pissed off bastard and it ended in divorce.

 

[rnch]

feel sorry for your buddy.....my broly faced the same problem.

after the second (and last) child was born, the biatch informed him that she was done with all bedroom activites and to "find some little tart on the side" to take care of him.

he did, she found out, the marriage is in serious trouble........

"feminine loigic is a contradiction of terms"--quote from my dad.

 

[Forge]

feel sorry for your buddy.....my broly faced the same problem.

after the second (and last) child was born, the biatch informed him that she was done with all bedroom activites and to "find some little tart on the side" to take care of him.

he did, she found out, the marriage is in serious trouble........

"feminine loigic is a contradiction of terms"--quote from my dad.

Damn, to actually get the go ahead on cheating, that's unheard of.

I told a guy about this at work today and he suggested that it might be due to menopause (she is in her late thirties). I've never heard of women losing sex drive due to menopause...

 

[milo hobgoblin]

any married man who puts up with tthat shit for more than a few weeks is an idiot.

any woman who is too selfish and/or stupid to realize how important sex is to a man and how much in menas to men in terms of a relationship doesnt deserve a man at all.

 

[Badbart]

any married man who puts up with tthat shit for more than a few weeks is an idiot.

any woman who is too selfish and/or stupid to realize how important sex is to a man and how much in menas to men in terms of a relationship doesnt deserve a man at all.

Bump this, I learned this the hard way.

 

[DJ_UFO]

He should get divorced. And the reason is, for us, men, sex is more important. Girls always will say "you are an animal", "you don't think in other things". Well, we don't think in other things because we are men. And women are selfish. Women always will try to make you think as a woman and that's not fair. He's young and full of life. Take your buddy out of that living hell NOW.

 

[bluetwistedsteel67]

ok, tell your buddy to pump his brakes and really look for a solution. I was in the same boat. My wife had just lost that drive and it's tough to deal with because you want to feel desired and lusted after by your wife. I'm sure he still wants her as much as he ever has which was the case with me. In the talks I had with my wife when we were going through tis she told me she always ENJOYS the sex and certainly never regrets it afterwards but the initial "drive" just isn't there. I talked to her about testosterone cream in a 10% strength and we did our research. She has been using it for about 5 weeks and it has changed our lives. She is happier, more energetic and is truthfully wearing me out. I cannot believe the change. We went from probably once a week (maybe twice in a great week) to 5x per week. She gets more wet, is more orgasmic and best of all just wants to initiate all the time. Test is THE sex hormone and will do the trick, believe me.

 

[Forge]

ok, tell your buddy to pump his brakes and really look for a solution. I was in the same boat. My wife had just lost that drive and it's tough to deal with because you want to feel desired and lusted after by your wife. I'm sure he still wants her as much as he ever has which was the case with me. In the talks I had with my wife when we were going through tis she told me she always ENJOYS the sex and certainly never regrets it afterwards but the initial "drive" just isn't there. I talked to her about testosterone cream in a 10% strength and we did our research. She has been using it for about 5 weeks and it has changed our lives. She is happier, more energetic and is truthfully wearing me out. I cannot believe the change. We went from probably once a week (maybe twice in a great week) to 5x per week. She gets more wet, is more orgasmic and best of all just wants to initiate all the time. Test is THE sex hormone and will do the trick, believe me.

Woah, nice response, thanks. I read some more on menopause during lunch today and now I think it might just be that. Where can I find more about exactly what you bought? I'm going to try to talk him into joining tonight to get involved with this thread, I'll at least show it to him. You are correct in that he doesn't really want to leave, but he feels frustrated and like she doesn't care for him anymore. Maybe my advice was a little hasty, I never realized menopause was such a sex-killer.


DAMN, my wife is 41, I probably don't have too much longer to go....

 

[milo hobgoblin]

LOL.. bro my girlfriend is 40 and fucks like a porn star.. you got a LONG way to go..

my biggest fear would be marrying her and shutting that shit down..

 

[bluetwistedsteel67]

My wife is 41 as well and still has the body of a 25yr old. That was the frustrating part, she is hot and I just want her constantly and that's after 11 yrs of marriage. I don't think I'm breaking any "source" rules by giving a legitimate pharmacy that helped me out. I got the cream at powermedica. They have a 5%, 10% and 20%. The 5% will do very little and the 20%is a little too potent so 10%is the way to go. It was $110 for a 60day supply if you use 1 inch of cream per day. Have her rub it on her labia every morning and within 2 weeks tops she will feel a huge difference. This stuff is no joke, my wife tried some of the herbal products like Avlimil but they do nothing. It's all about test.

 

[MissJanet79]

any married man who puts up with tthat shit for more than a few weeks is an idiot.

any woman who is too selfish and/or stupid to realize how important sex is to a man and how much in menas to men in terms of a relationship doesnt deserve a man at all.

& that goes both ways too ... any woman who puts up w/ that shit is a fool!
And any man who is too selfish doesn't deserve her at all!

 

[rnch]

my biggest fear would be marrying her and shutting that shit down..

which is what happened to my broly.

old joke: how do you stop a nympho from doing it? you marry her!"

from what he has told me, it myst be hell on earth to be married to a woman you still love but who won't have sex with you.

 

[Forge]

from what he has told me, it myst be hell on earth to be married to a woman you still love but who won't have sex with you.

Yep, that's pretty much what my buddy is going through: hell on earth. One month ago everything was honky dory, then BAM the sex was turned off like a water faucet, she shows no interest in the slightest. That would worry the hell outta me too.

& that goes both ways too ... any woman who puts up w/ that shit is a fool!
And any man who is too selfish doesn't deserve her at all!

I think you underestimate just how important sex is to a man, especially a married one. The fear of being "stuck" with one woman for the rest of your life, who doesn't want to even touch you let alone have sex, is damn frightening. I think I'm going to talk to my wife tonight about it, just so we are prepared if/when it happens.

 

[big4rt]

I hate to sound like Dr. Phil (cause I can't stand that guy), but if the man's wife doesn't want sex or has no desire, then your bro has to put his foot down. If he doesn't, then it is his fault. No accusations of cheating is necessary. Perhaps he should start brainstorming ways of getting her in a better mood when it comes to that.

I'm not telling you to tell him to do this, but this is what worked for me:
I am not the type of guy who gawks at other women and makes comments like, "she's cute" or "she's hot" in front of my wife. That is my way of letting her know she is my queen and I am HER man. Now, my wife is an Army Major on active duty who spends LOTS of time working--sometimes until 9:30- 10:00 at night. Well, to make a long story short, she got to the point where she was not in the mood for months at a time. So, I purposefully started "noticing" other women while walking through the mall and making comments about attractive big booty women on TV. She got the point. No more than 5 days later she decided to put Victoria Secrets bags, candles, oils and the Liberator pillow set all up in a brother's bedroom. Nuff Sed. HOLLER!!!!

 

[DJ_UFO]

My wife is 41 as well and still has the body of a 25yr old. That was the frustrating part, she is hot and I just want her constantly and that's after 11 yrs of marriage. I don't think I'm breaking any "source" rules by giving a legitimate pharmacy that helped me out. I got the cream at powermedica. They have a 5%, 10% and 20%. The 5% will do very little and the 20%is a little too potent so 10%is the way to go. It was $110 for a 60day supply if you use 1 inch of cream per day. Have her rub it on her labia every morning and within 2 weeks tops she will feel a huge difference. This stuff is no joke, my wife tried some of the herbal products like Avlimil but they do nothing. It's all about test.

 

[Puddles]

If a woman has a low sex drive, it's often hormonally related and she should get her levels checked by her GYN. He can perscribe test cream and most insurance companies will cover it. Women can start menopause at 40 y.o., many don't until much later, it's genetic, she can get an idea based on her family history and the earlier she got her period the earlier she'll loose it.

I just never understood how some women can be so selfish though. Really, it's only a lack of drive, it's not like once it gets going it's painful or anything. If you really do care about your guy you would just change your mindset. Hell, I don't know any woman who enjoys doing the laundry but that gets done, so why not give your man something he really enjoys?

I don't see how a person can work 2 jobs and still have time for a relationship though...something needs to change there. Marriage should be fun, how can you have fun together when you don't see eachother?

 

[YME]

I went thru this for 3 years in my first marriage. What sukked was when we first together she was a porn level lover.

But I geuss time and marriage has a way of ruining even the best of women.

So I figured after 3 years of this shit, I could justify leaving.

Now after 11 years I'm in a similar situation, only not as bad as the first. But at least now we have a much better relationship, so it is easier to live with.

But then again, my curent wife is in her 50s, so I also must accept all that entails as well.

 

[Forge]

Hey guys, I just want to apologize, this thread isn't entirely true as the no sex thing pertains to me, not a friend. See this thread for an explanation:

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=333541

Sorry for the confusion.

 

[gregory]

Some of the responses by the dudes on this board are just plain stupid and selfish. More to life then sex, if she's not in the mood for a while suck it up, life is tough. Hope none of you ever suffer from erectile dysfunction later on in life and get dumped by your current or future wifes for some young stud, heh.

Stepping off soapbox.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

"But I geuss time and marriage has a way of ruining even the best of women."

LOL Someone should inscribe that in stone and put it in every church, courthouse and synongogue on the planet...

So NO man EVER could say he wasnt warned.

 

[YME]

"But I geuss time and marriage has a way of ruining even the best of women."

LOL Someone should inscribe that in stone and put it in every church, courthouse and synongogue on the planet...

So NO man EVER could say he wasnt warned.

Wow, then I could feel as if I actually contributed to mankind during my stay!!!

 

[Johnnyrocket]

Wow that is a tough one. A man has urges there is no doubt. It is not that we are dogs we just have that inate hunger, yes, it is just that a hunger for sex. I have gone for about a month one time but that was after my kid was born and one time that we were just too busy like your friend's situation. There is sex and then there is quality sex. If I could get quality sex once a month instead of the so called charity session then I could go longer without it, I would be more satisfied. As far as leaving her for sex I am not sure if that is the best move. Sure that is a big part of a relationship but good people are hard to find. The lifestyle may pass and she may be the dream lover he always wanted. At least she works........ Tell him to talk to her, she will find a little time for him and please him here and there if it is coming to that.