Last night I asked my girl to go down on me while I was driving us home.

[crash3837]

Her response was: I don't feel like it.
So my response was: When DO you feel like it? Because she never really does.
So then she says: So me giving you head is that big of a deal?
And then I go on to tell her its not that its a big deal its just that all the little sexual things add up and make it fun, because right now our sex life is like a check list ,we hang out and go to bed and then its like,
-kiss a few times- CHECK
-play with her clit- CHECK
-tits,,, licked umm-CHECK
-fuck her until she gets dry, and not blow my load-CHECK
and so on.

My girlfriend then went on to say I'm sorry I can't help it I'm boring,,, its not the fact that shes boring its just that she doesn't try.

The little things that add up that I'm talking about are things like her shaving a little rumble strip, being spontanious, having my girl being the one who starts it instead of it always being me, being creative, having fun with it?
Is this to much to ask for?
All of these things I have suggested for her to do, and she hasn't even really tried any of them or stuck with them.
I asked her to maybe shave a strip and she said maybe at 1st, then I asked later and it turned into I'll do it when you least expect it. Well I dropped it and a few months passed where I would of least expected it and nothing, so I started bringing it up again and she gets pissed saying : why are you bringing this up again all of the time, its like a little kid when they ask you over and over for the same thing, its annoying ect.
So I started getting pissed saying: whats annoying is when I suggest something and it gets pushed to the side where its forgoten about, and then when I remember and bring it up I'm the one being annoying.
Its been hard for me to bring this up because I feel like if I do bring it up I'm sort of acting like this is all that matters to me.
This is not all that matters to me, but it does matter to me.

I Explained to her that this makes me feel like shes not attracted to me.
The thing I have not explained to her is that this makes me feel like maybe there is someone out there that would be more attracted to me, (I'm not saying I going to act upon these feelings, because truthfully I'm not like that)
Shed some light on my story!

 

[Raina]

Is there any chance that she could interpret your requests as somehow meaning you're not attracted to her?? I don't know but sometimes we interpret things completely different than they were intended.

It's hard to be with a somewhat repressed partner. For me, a lot of how I am sexually has to do with 1) how attractive I feel about myself and 2) how much I trust my partner. I'm definately not up for anything new or anything at all if I'm feeling like some ugly cow....regardless of what he says, if I'm in that mood, it's not gonna happen. On a cool note though, I really feel comfy with my bf and if anything I'm the one always making requests that get shot down....so I feel for you on that one.

It's okay that you're venting about this. When sex is good, it's not an issue, when it's not-so-great it tends to become one. There's nothing wrong with wanting something more. Do you think she's just feeling objectified or like you need her to do new things?? Is she possibly getting the impression that she bores you?? Is there anything you can do to make her feel like the sexiest woman ever to walk the earth?? Don't know what else to say other than to hope that things get better for you. Have you been together for a looong time or is this fairly new??

Kate

 

[crash3837]

Raina, we have been together almost 1yr.
She has put on some weight lately, maybe thats some what the problem.

 

[Raina]

Weight change could DEFINITELY be a factor. Has she mentioned the weight change or have you?? There's likely a good chance that she's feeling very insecure about her body....in which case she's going to feel very uncomfy about her body/sexuality. Hell, I get like that even when I don't change weight. Maybe it's a hormone thing??

Just go out of your way to make her feel beautiful-- and not so that she thinks you're doing so just to get some, but because all women deserve to feel that way. Honestly, there's nothing much better than having your honey treat you like the sexiest creature ever to walk the earth. Try to make an effort to do that-- any time too...because it doesn't go over well when you notice your sig. other is only really nice when they want some ass. Good luck.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[The Terminator]

Start paying more attention to other women. There are lit.erally billions of women out there, millions who you can have. If she does not want you then it is her loss. Of course most women leave me within a few months so you may not want to take my advice.

 

[rnch]

quoting dad:

"you CANNOT apply logic and calm reasoning to the female mind"


sounds like it's time to move on dude, and find someone else who is more evenly matched to your bedroom needs and desires.

 

[Longhorn85]

Her response was: I don't feel like it.
So my response was: When DO you feel like it? Because she never really does.

From my experience, a lot of women are very sensitive about this act because of all of the jokes people make all the time about blow jobs. Plus some possible negative experiences in the past. I have found that the way you ask for it makes a big diff, plus being in a situation where you go down on her too usually helps. (You didn't mention that as a part of your "checklist").

I would make no bones though about letting her know that you need and want that in a sexual relationship, and that you are willing to go to another woman to get it if necessary.

 

[crash3837]

Raina, I already do try to make her feel sexy, and pretty, etc.
She has said that I make her feel beautiful, my question is why should I have to give this extra reassurance?
Does she give it to me? No
It seems like I have been in this situation once before, are all women like this? Or do I just attract women that have sexual mental problems?

And yes she has been mentioning the weight change quite a bit, she has asked me about her weight and I've said she looks great to me.

Also Raina, I go out of my way to be a gentleman to her and to not just be her boyfriend but her friend,,, it just feels to me like on my half its starting to feel more like friends.

 

[crash3837]

ttlpkg, going down on her used to be on the check list, and still is once in awhile.
Its just why would I want to go down on her on my own all of the time, but when I ask her or gently push her down on me she gets almost annoyed like its an unbearable chore.
Also I find it odd that after she busts her nut she's pretty much fininshed and she just gets too dry to go on after shes reached her point, so there I am laying there ready to go still, while shes snoring away.

 

[Longhorn85]

ttlpkg, going down on her used to be on the check list, and still is once in awhile.
Its just why would I want to go down on her on my own all of the time, but when I ask her or gently push her down on me she gets almost annoyed like its an unbearable chore.
Also I find it odd that after she busts her nut she's pretty much fininshed and she just gets too dry to go on after shes reached her point, so there I am laying there ready to go still, while shes snoring away.

Sounds like its time to move on, my man.