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Is bullying that bad?

digimon7068 said:
kids are what you make them...my girls are dancers/musicians/ artists and they are also excellent students...my son is only in kindergarten but he is a soccer player/football player/baseball player/wrestler (hence the singlet), figure skater, and he is also an excellent student...and all three of them are very respectful but they also know that they are expected to not eat anyone's shit.

my wife and i teach them, train them and we are actively involved in all of their activities. will all three of them always be good people, all of the time? meh, probably not...kids make mistakes, but you correct them and then you move on. but having rules and boundries and (sometimes lofty) expectations, and communicating those will go a long way toward ensuring that they eventually become good citizens and productive members of society.
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fixed
 
just...v said:
I don't entirely agree with #2. I think it's lack of a strong single mother and responsible male figure.

I think men play an important role when raising children, but I also think if a woman is strong enough she can compensate for that missing piece. The problem is that our nurturing side gets in the way.

I know a woman who raised her kids on her own, no real male role model, and her boys are awesome.
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You do not have to agree with me, that is your right, but that does not mean you are right. I was not trying to make this complex, I was talking in collective manner. There is always a remnant who have their act together, that universal law holds fast in every aspect of life. I was talking about the fundamental reasons for the decadence of society, which is going down like the Titanic, all we can do is salvage the wreckage.
 
just...v said:
My mom has cerebral palsy and was bullied constantly, I have a gay cousin that bullied through out high school and my son knows what happened to them. He also knows what happened to me. So he has a different perspective which I think has given him more empathy.

I am very proud of him, he's a real good kid.


And Thanks:)
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when I was nine I gathered some friends to confront the bully
I went into action and none of them followed me
I didn't get beat up too bad
for New Jersey
 
ledhead said:
You do not have to agree with me, that is your right, but that does not mean you are right. I was not trying to make this complex, I was talking in collective manner. There is always a remnant who have their act together, that universal law holds fast in every aspect of life. I was talking about the fundamental reasons for the decadence of society, which is going down like the Titanic, all we can do is salvage the wreckage.
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Lol you got a little complex after that sentence there, buddy. :)

I said I didn't agree with you entirely. There is definitely a good argument behind that first statement you made.

As far as society going down like the Titanic, I really don't think we are sinking. It's more like a constant evolution. There are both good and bad in regards to the past, but life wasn't necessarily better.
 
When my twin sister used to get bullied so much in middle/high school, it sucked for me because even though we didn't get along much at that age, it hurt me way worse to see her bullied than if I were to get bullied myself, which was rare to begin with.

I don't know what it was or why she was picked on. It definitely wasn't physical bc my twin is a pretty girl. I guess it's just when people find someone with what they deem a weakness, they move in for the kill.

People would actually come up to me and say bad things about her, which was crazy to me. Yeah, I can fight with my sister because she's my sister. Nobody else can. I'd get livid. Those people learned pretty quick not to talk shit about my sister to me, and eventually left her alone entirely when she started hanging with my same general group of friends.
 
The TCSB has a commercial on 680 news now about the signs to look out for if your child is being cyber bullied
 
AFeedz said:
Cyber bullying is parents' fault too. There's no reason young kids should be on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. I don't know why the age to join those sites is 13 and up (especially when kids under 13 lie to get on all the time). 13 year olds are just not mature enough to be allowed to gather like that on the Internet, nor should they be on sharing personal info like that for obvious safety reasons but that's another story.

Parents allow their kids on there. It's sick. Then when their kid gets in trouble, parents try to take it away but the damage has been done and the kid is already addicted. The kid is going to find a way back on. Parents need to not allow kids to be on those sites from the get go. You wouldn't let a group of 100 13 year olds hang out alone, why would you leave them alone online?

And those sites need to raise and enforce the minimum age allowed.
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Totally agree here, Facebook is crap, the internet is creating a fantasy world for these kids to live in and become somebody they wouldn't be in person, I lost my oldest daughter to these two outside influences, she will be 19 in two weeks and is dating a 29 year old guy who is a service manger at a Lexus dealership...she doesn't want anything to do with me because she knows her dad will beat the sh*t out of this guy and he will never come back, so she chose money and the life she has now over family...my wife and I did the best we could and were always in her business, but she found ways around it. This society is getting worse day by day.

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This weekend I was watching it gets better and no h8 videos and found sooooo many videos of teen suicides due to bullying, even a 10 yr old :(

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Bullying is that bad . I am a parent and have dealt with my children being bullied ! They start so young . It's awful . It is so sad to think what a bully has gone thru that they treat others that way .
 
Musclemama said:
Bullying is that bad . I am a parent and have dealt with my children being bullied ! They start so young . It's awful . It is so sad to think what a bully has gone thru that they treat others that way .
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Was it bad? How did you tell your kids to handle it?
 
Depends on the age of the child and bullying . But I always remind my children that bullying is wrong and not to play that game . I tell them to ignore the person/behavior . If it persists they need to tell a teacher/adult. One of my older children stuck up for her younger sibling and had a chat with a bully before . I remind my kids that ppl who bully others are generally jealous of you / they may have a hard life at home and are probably being bullied or abused themselves :( sad but true .
 
Musclemama said:
Depends on the age of the child and bullying . But I always remind my children that bullying is wrong and not to play that game . I tell them to ignore the person/behavior . If it persists they need to tell a teacher/adult. One of my older children stuck up for her younger sibling and had a chat with a bully before . I remind my kids that ppl who bully others are generally jealous of you / they may have a hard life at home and are probably being bullied or abused themselves :( sad but true .
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Or maybe that's the way that they are? Some bullies grow up to be successful corporate dictators.
 
muscleaddiction said:
Totally agree here, Facebook is crap, the internet is creating a fantasy world for these kids to live in and become somebody they wouldn't be in person, I lost my oldest daughter to these two outside influences, she will be 19 in two weeks and is dating a 29 year old guy who is a service manger at a Lexus dealership...she doesn't want anything to do with me because she knows her dad will beat the sh*t out of this guy and he will never come back, so she chose money and the life she has now over family...my wife and I did the best we could and were always in her business, but she found ways around it. This society is getting worse day by day.

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You forgot to tell us whats wrong with dating a 29 yr old guy that works at a lexus dealership.
 
muscleaddiction said:
Are you a dad, or a 29 year old guy dating a teenage girl?

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Yea hes older but Im sure you can see youre driving her into his arms with the whole tough dad routine. Its not like shes a minor, shes an adult legally. Nothing you can do about it. Let her make her mistakes (if hes actually a mistake). Besides, you havent offered any reasons why he deserves to be beaten besides being a bit older and apparently a pretty good catch by what youve said. Theres a guy here Lartinos who is 30 or so and engaged to a 19 or 20 yr old (been together longer). Maybe you can pm him about it pick his brain a little.
Im 37 dating a 34 yr old by the way ;)
 
When I was 21, my boyfriend was 30. In fact, every guy I've dated in the last 3 or 4 years have been in the 27-32 age range except one. They're way easier to spend time with than guys my own age.
 
-SD- said:
Yea hes older but Im sure you can see youre driving her into his arms with the whole tough dad routine. Its not like shes a minor, shes an adult legally. Nothing you can do about it. Let her make her mistakes (if hes actually a mistake). Besides, you havent offered any reasons why he deserves to be beaten besides being a bit older and apparently a pretty good catch by what youve said. Theres a guy here Lartinos who is 30 or so and engaged to a 19 or 20 yr old (been together longer). Maybe you can pm him about it pick his brain a little.
Im 37 dating a 34 yr old by the way ;)
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You're getting old John...
 
AFeedz said:
When I was 21, my boyfriend was 30. In fact, every guy I've dated in the last 3 or 4 years have been in the 27-32 age range except one. They're way easier to spend time with than guys my own age.
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I would be extremely easy to spend time with in that case lol
 
-SD- said:
I would be extremely easy to spend time with in that case lol
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Lol It's more like a bell curve. I get along with men in that range right now and it's harder and harder to get along with men as the number of standard deviations increases in either direction.

Also, I'm white. So I know we have no chance. Hahaha
 
AFeedz said:
Lol It's more like a bell curve. I get along with men in that range right now and it's harder and harder to get along with men as the number of standard deviations increases in either direction.

Also, I'm white. So I know we have no chance. Hahaha
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yup
heh
 
-SD- said:
Yea hes older but Im sure you can see youre driving her into his arms with the whole tough dad routine. Its not like shes a minor, shes an adult legally. Nothing you can do about it. Let her make her mistakes (if hes actually a mistake). Besides, you havent offered any reasons why he deserves to be beaten besides being a bit older and apparently a pretty good catch by what youve said. Theres a guy here Lartinos who is 30 or so and engaged to a 19 or 20 yr old (been together longer). Maybe you can pm him about it pick his brain a little.
Im 37 dating a 34 yr old by the way ;)
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Ok, still didn't answer my question...are you a dad? Until you can understand the feeling I have as a father to my baby girl, the bond between a dad and daughter (at least in my heart) is stronger than a husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend. Yeah, legally of age, I really hate that shit...one month it isn't ok, the next one due to turning 18, she is up for grabs to any guy out there...even if they are 29-30 years old. Yeah, I get it, I don't like it, but I get it. I don't care about anybody else to tell you the truth...no disrespect...but there is also so much more to the story that is relevant that I can't go into due to it will take hours. I am laying with my 6 year daughter right now, and I am just going to hold her tight and try again with her and try not to make the same mistakes I made with my oldest...thanks for your insight.

I am 41 and so is my wife...we are 3 months apart to the date!

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AFeedz said:
When I was 21, my boyfriend was 30. In fact, every guy I've dated in the last 3 or 4 years have been in the 27-32 age range except one. They're way easier to spend time with than guys my own age.
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What did your dad think? Or did you care?

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muscleaddiction said:
What did your dad think? Or did you care?

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I don't introduce boyfriends to my dad, for no reason besides my dad is the most important person in my life.
I'd have to be serious, like marriage serious, to introduce someone to my dad.

I introduced him to my mom though because I couldnt care less.
She hated him, but that's because he was an ass.
 
AFeedz said:
I don't introduce boyfriends to my dad, for no reason besides my dad is the most important person in my life.
I'd have to be serious, like marriage serious, to introduce someone to my dad.

I introduced him to my mom though because I couldnt care less.
She hated him, but that's because he was an ass.
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Well it is nice you think of your dad that way, mine could care less.

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so allow us to get this right
boys you care about you run by mom first
who you don't care about
then they go through dad
who is the most important person in the world
then you have sex
 
Spartacus said:
so allow us to get this right
boys you care about you run by mom first
who you don't care about
then they go through dad
who is the most important person in the world
then you have sex
Click to expand...

No.

My mom isn't that important to me when compared to my dad, so I don't care who meets her. Guys I both care and don't care about meet her.

My dad is important to me. I've never introduced a boyfriend to him.
It'd take a lot for me to let a guy in to that layer of my life.

Then I have sex. :qt:
 
AFeedz said:
No.

My mom isn't that important to me when compared to my dad, so I don't care who meets her. Guys I both care and don't care about meet her.

My dad is important to me. I've never introduced a boyfriend to him.
It'd take a lot for me to let a guy in to that layer of my life.

Then I have sex. :qt:
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What about when you were in highschool? Didn't your dad want to meet the boys who were taking his little girl out? I know I did, even though she gave the same excuse you did, that she wasn't going to bring a boy home unless he was something special...which meant she didn't want me meeting boys she went out with...that doesn't make sense and how does a dad feel comfortable when his daughter is out on a date with some random guy? It seems disrespectful to the dad if you ask me...the boy needs to meet the dad, just like I had to, prior to going out on a date.

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Thank you by the way AFeedz, it is nice to hear it from a girls perspective, even though I am not agreeing with some of your answers, but that is just because I am a dad.

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muscleaddiction said:
What about when you were in highschool? Didn't your dad want to meet the boys who were taking his little girl out? I know I did, even though she gave the same excuse you did, that she wasn't going to bring a boy home unless he was something special...which meant she didn't want me meeting boys she went out with...that doesn't make sense and how does a dad feel comfortable when his daughter is out on a date with some random guy? It seems disrespectful to the dad if you ask me...the boy needs to meet the dad, just like I had to, prior to going out on a date.

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I honestly didn't really date in high school.
I was just some awkward kid, so it never came up.

My first real/serious relationship was my freshman year of college.
I was a 4 hour drive away from my dad, so it didn't matter.
Now I'm 23, which is plenty too old to need permission to date,
So yeah, I'd only introduce someone serious.
 
AFeedz said:
I honestly didn't really date in high school.
I was just some awkward kid, so it never came up.

My first real/serious relationship was my freshman year of college.
I was a 4 hour drive away from my dad, so it didn't matter.
Now I'm 23, which is plenty too old to need permission to date,
So yeah, I'd only introduce someone serious.
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Well I guess that was something your dad didn't have to worry about then. What did it mean to you when you turned 18? What was the first thing you thought when you came of age per say?

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muscleaddiction said:
Well I guess that was something your dad didn't have to worry about then. What did it mean to you when you turned 18? What was the first thing you thought when you came of age per say?

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Probably nothing, like everyone else. The number 18 generally means nothing to anyone because whatever they werent allowed to do they were already doing before 18.
 
muscleaddiction said:
Thank you by the way AFeedz, it is nice to hear it from a girls perspective, even though I am not agreeing with some of your answers, but that is just because I am a dad.

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I dated in high school and none of them met my parents.

I had a ROUGH go around with my parents as a teen, I could tell you some stories...it will get better. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents now. They were over protective, they had to let me go and make some of my own mistakes. Just let her know that you love her no matter what.
 
cindylou said:
I dated in high school and none of them met my parents.

I had a ROUGH go around with my parents as a teen, I could tell you some stories...it will get better. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents now. They were over protective, they had to let me go and make some of my own mistakes. Just let her know that you love her no matter what.
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Yeah, that seems to be the consensus...and I guess you can say I am a bit overprotective, they are my girls...who else has their back? Sucks.
 
-SD- said:
Probably nothing, like everyone else. The number 18 generally means nothing to anyone because whatever they werent allowed to do they were already doing before 18.
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I was in CR when I turned 18, at that age there you can drink, gamble, smoke, whatever you want.... I spent my 18th home with my family... never had a full beer or saw the inside of a bar until I was around 20, never drunk until around 23 (and have been only a handful of times) some of us just never had a wild phase... at all...
Teenage years were not rebellious, had only 2 HS boyfriends, first one was 13 simple almost platonic, second was 16-17 and I was having sex left and right LOL used birth control from day 1 though... wasnt THAT stupid both met my parents because they were overprotective and I couldn't go ANYWHERE without them taking me or picking me up :worried:
 
nangiggles said:
I was in CR when I turned 18, at that age there you can drink, gamble, smoke, whatever you want.... I spent my 18th home with my family... never had a full beer or saw the inside of a bar until I was around 20, never drunk until around 23 (and have been only a handful of times) some of us just never had a wild phase... at all...
Teenage years were not rebellious, had only 2 HS boyfriends, first one was 13 simple almost platonic, second was 16-17 and I was having sex left and right LOL used birth control from day 1 though... wasnt THAT stupid both met my parents because they were overprotective and I couldn't go ANYWHERE without them taking me or picking me up :worried:
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And now youre having dreams about me so STFU
 
nangiggles said:
I was in CR when I turned 18, at that age there you can drink, gamble, smoke, whatever you want.... I spent my 18th home with my family... never had a full beer or saw the inside of a bar until I was around 20, never drunk until around 23 (and have been only a handful of times) some of us just never had a wild phase... at all...
Teenage years were not rebellious, had only 2 HS boyfriends, first one was 13 simple almost platonic, second was 16-17 and I was having sex left and right LOL used birth control from day 1 though... wasnt THAT stupid both met my parents because they were overprotective and I couldn't go ANYWHERE without them taking me or picking me up :worried:
Click to expand...

We did the same...by the way my wife lived in Costa Rica when she was little.
 
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