Importance of a wife Initiating Sex

[curvymommy]

Ok, I know this forum can be somewhat gritty and straight forward so help me out here sexy people!

My husband keeps getting mad at me because I rarely initate sex. It's not like I put on flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers and expect him to be turned on. I make myself availiable to him. Wear lipgloss and cute stuff to bed, shave my legs (omg I can't believe I'm talking about this), smell good, don't wear sox, ect. We go to bed at the same time, ect. So, lots of good stuff going on.

~BUT~

Why am I not horny? Is it a decision you make? Am I doing something wrong? I just feel overly tired by the end of the day and am not in the mood to give a strip tease on the coffee table after finally getting my kids to bed at night.

Does it hurt your feelings if your woman doesn't initiate sex? Or is it enough for her to be a willing sport in it when you are ready?

 

[ceo]

I bet you initiated more early in the relationship.

Having said that...everyone wants to feel desired. It feels good when someone notices you, makes a comment (tastefully) about your appearance or some trait, flirts with you, etc. It just reaffirms that you've still "got it"...even/especially if it is coming from your long time mate.

If you don't feel in the mood at night when you go to bed because you're tired, what about in the morning, or afternoon, etc.? Or do you just not really ever feel in the mood? Maybe something you can do to get in the mood...like reading a smut novel (aka women's porn) or something? lol.

HTH

 

[string_bean00]

I've had this issue with every relationship I've been in. When the male intitiates sex the majority of the time it makes him feel that you're losing attraction for him. Of course you have other things going on that do distract (work, kids) but sex life is a two way street.

 

[ceo]

I've had this issue with every relationship I've been in. When the male intitiates sex the majority of the time it makes him feel that you're losing attraction for him. Of course you have other things going on that do distract (work, kids) but sex life is a two way street.

yup. same way a woman feels if her man doesn't initiate sex with her.

 

[digimon7068]

meh. . .i agree with jeff foxworthy. . .generally speaking, women are like diesel engines. . .they need to be physically started up. . .and sometimes it takes a little while to get them going. . .but once you do, they run for a long LONG time. . .

my wife initiates once in a while but not nearly as often as i do. . .it's always been like that. . .i think that's probably pretty normal and i think it's part nature and part nurture. . .men are genetically programmed (to a certain extent) and also taught to be the pursuers and women are genetically programmed (to a certain extent) and (most) are also taught to be the pursue-ees. . .i don't make up the rules. . .i just have to live with them

 

[musclemom]

meh. . .i agree with jeff foxworthy. . .generally speaking, women are like diesel engines. . .they need to be physically started up. . .and sometimes it takes a little while to get them going. . .but once you do, they run for a long LONG time. . .

my wife initiates once in a while but not nearly as often as i do. . .it's always been like that. . .i think that's probably pretty normal and i think it's part nature and part nurture. . .men are genetically programmed (to a certain extent) and also taught to be the pursuers and women are genetically programmed (to a certain extent) and (most) are also taught to be the pursue-ees. . .i don't make up the rules. . .i just have to live with them

+100!!! VERY well said!!!

This is an issue that's come up for discussion between my husband and myself periodically.

I REALLY don't like even having sex at bedtime (I have my reasons). I will initiate things if we're together during the day, like weekends or vacations. Sometimes I can be a literal pest in fact (I like nooners so shoot me). Initiating in the morning usually requires me just being present and him in the mood

 

[miplank]

Ok, I know this forum can be somewhat gritty and straight forward so help me out here sexy people!

My husband keeps getting mad at me because I rarely initate sex. It's not like I put on flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers and expect him to be turned on. I make myself availiable to him. Wear lipgloss and cute stuff to bed, shave my legs (omg I can't believe I'm talking about this), smell good, don't wear sox, ect. We go to bed at the same time, ect. So, lots of good stuff going on.

~BUT~

Why am I not horny? Is it a decision you make? Am I doing something wrong? I just feel overly tired by the end of the day and am not in the mood to give a strip tease on the coffee table after finally getting my kids to bed at night.

Does it hurt your feelings if your woman doesn't initiate sex? Or is it enough for her to be a willing sport in it when you are ready?

I have this conversation with my wife all the time. It always seems to be me initiating sex.

I don't think you really need to do the "strip tease" on the table, but even if your in bed just start by kissing or grabbing his dick, or whatever.

I think guys (or atleast your husband and myself as we seem to think on the same level) want to know that you wimminz want the sexy time from us as much as we do from you.

Do yourself a favor and just stroke his ego...or whatever else you feel like stroking

 

[drsketch]

i get annoyed at the same thing. This is another thing that my ex did or didnt do however you look at it

 

[chris302001]

It's incredibly sexy and flattering when a woman initiates things...

 

[digimon7068]

+100!!! VERY well said!!!

just make sure you read my disclaimer