I'm feeling down right now folks, due to the girl

[silver_shadow]

I've discoverd that gaining confidence can be real tough, especially since I am kind of a perfectionist and am hard on myself. I am not sure of any foolproof method for gaining confidence. I am working out more now, and I plan on kicking my body into good shape, so that I can at least feel confident about my appearances, but i know thats only half the battle when it comes to gaining confidence and attracting women. Even back when i worked out all the time and looked good, I still had problems attracting women, and still had quite low self esteem. Instead of having low confidence due to appearances, it was my weak socializing skills and my natural introvert-ness that were hurting my confidence,

Can someone have some good confidence even if they suck at life? In other words could someone reprogram themselves to always be confident even though their life wasnt all that great in comparison to other people's?

that's not the sign of a perfectionist, that's the sign of someone who thinks negatively... don't fool yourself. and yes, being introverted is the other half... that changes when you get a job where you have to meet people all the time... sales for instance. you'll be forced to break out of your shell and you'll slowly find yourself becoming more comfortable with people. and yes, success, having tasted failure in the past only improves confidence.

 

[musclemom]

Yeah, I've heard other people say that same thing, that online dating is only for older people, lol.
So how does it smack of despiration and unnatural interests?

Meeting women in the real world is tough. And I dont see how it would be any more or less acceptable depending on age. I mean its not like i can meet women in college anymore, I graduated!

If a guy is under 30, isn't weird looking, doesn't live in Alaska and can't find a girl on his own there's something wrong with him, seriously. Meet girls through your church, meet them at the laundrymat, meet them in the supermarket, meet them in bars, have your friends and family hook you up, shit, meet them at work but be careful there. Go to spiritual retreats. Or really wake up and go to fucking Hedonism.

Just open your eyes and open your mouth, walk up to a pretty girl and say, "Hi." The worst thing she'll do is tell you to piss off.

My son has NEVER had trouble finding dates, EVER. Shit, he started flirting with the chick at the bank who was helping us make some changes to his bank account. Girls are everywhere. You just can't look at every single one and go "ummm, not marriage material ... umm, 10 pounds too heavy ... ummm, tits too small .... oh, bad haircut." Just start dating a little, loosen up.

 

[jackangel]

did you really just say that she's perfect how she is? the girl this thread is about? someone that has treated you rather poorly? someone that you really don't know, and doesn't really want to know you?

and do you really believe the bullshit reason she gave you for not wanting to kiss you?

that's insane. this is all insane. to save you the trouble of responding to this post with an earnest question (i.e. "why is that insane? i think it's quite reasonable blah blah blah"), i'll simply say that i can't prove it to you, or even explain it, if you don't see that.

then again, there are others here who don't see it that way either, so why should you...

 

[sawastea]

This thread is AWESOME! Some old schoolers out of retirement posting in here.

As many people mentioned, LET HER GO. Get on with your life and don't contact her again, ever. If she contacts you, she'll want it. Move on with your life. Hit the gym, build self-confidence. Read one of Spellberg's 687 eBooks, how to get poonany.

Be strong.

 

[healother]

that's not the sign of a perfectionist, that's the sign of someone who thinks negatively... don't fool yourself. and yes, being introverted is the other half... that changes when you get a job where you have to meet people all the time... sales for instance. you'll be forced to break out of your shell and you'll slowly find yourself becoming more comfortable with people. and yes, success, having tasted failure in the past only improves confidence.

im a perfectionist too though, trust me. perfectionism and negativity are a bad combo, but im working on it.

If a guy is under 30, isn't weird looking, doesn't live in Alaska and can't find a girl on his own there's something wrong with him, seriously. Meet girls through your church, meet them at the laundrymat, meet them in the supermarket, meet them in bars, have your friends and family hook you up, shit, meet them at work but be careful there. Go to spiritual retreats. Or really wake up and go to fucking Hedonism.

Just open your eyes and open your mouth, walk up to a pretty girl and say, "Hi." The worst thing she'll do is tell you to piss off.

My son has NEVER had trouble finding dates, EVER. Shit, he started flirting with the chick at the bank who was helping us make some changes to his bank account. Girls are everywhere. You just can't look at every single one and go "ummm, not marriage material ... umm, 10 pounds too heavy ... ummm, tits too small .... oh, bad haircut." Just start dating a little, loosen up.

Yeah, they are everywhere. I'm working on the whole 'approach them' thing. It's still tough.

did you really just say that she's perfect how she is? the girl this thread is about? someone that has treated you rather poorly? someone that you really don't know, and doesn't really want to know you?

and do you really believe the bullshit reason she gave you for not wanting to kiss you?

that's insane. this is all insane. to save you the trouble of responding to this post with an earnest question (i.e. "why is that insane? i think it's quite reasonable blah blah blah"), i'll simply say that i can't prove it to you, or even explain it, if you don't see that.

then again, there are others here who don't see it that way either, so why should you...

she's perfect looking. In the other ways she isn't perfect. I believe she is full of bs. for someone in her situation its easier for her to lie.

This thread is AWESOME! Some old schoolers out of retirement posting in here.

As many people mentioned, LET HER GO. Get on with your life and don't contact her again, ever. If she contacts you, she'll want it. Move on with your life. Hit the gym, build self-confidence. Read one of Spellberg's 687 eBooks, how to get poonany.

Be strong.

I've been hitting the gym and working on my confidence. Next up I will be working on finding some interests, and then I will work on the women.

I've basically let this girl go. the only way ill give her an opportunity is if she crawls back to me.

 

[healother]

UPDATE:

It's official, it's over (big suprise, huh?)

I talked to her last night on aol and on the phone, and I found out she was lying to me about some things. Yes, she does like another guy right now, but that's not the reason she doesn't want to hang out with me (not what she told me before).
Last night she said that:

1) I did screw up the time I hung out with her, and she probably wouldn't ever want to fool around with me again. She said I complained too much, was an amateur, laid on her too much without letting her lay on me, and it just wasnt much of a turn on experience for her overall.

And she admitted she was making excuses earlier for not hanging out with me, and not talking to me as much. Because she was turned off by what happened the time we hung out last.

2) She said she isnt sure if she wants to screw around anymore, apparently she was screwing around with multiple guys (which she didnt tell me earlier) and she decided it might be doing her more harm than good. But even if she did want to screw around, it probably wouldnt be with me, she said.


But... She still wants to be friends and talk.

I told her I thought it would be better for me if I didnt talk to her for awhile, because I still like her, and it sucks being reminded about her and reminded about how things turned out sour, and that i wont get anything from her.

Then she said, "no dont be ridiculous, we should still talk. If we stop talking for awhile, I probably wont start talking to you again even if you want to later, cuz I'll be out of that mode"


At this moment, I'm trying to decide whether this girl was truly being disrespectful with me or not,
and even if she wasnt, whether or not i should still remain friends with her.

Honestly, I think it might be easier on me, if I deleted her from my aol and facebook, that way I wouldnt have to be reminded of this mess.
And it sounds like the odds of her letting me back into her bed are slim. But if she wants to have fun again, she can be the one to contact me, cuz until then, I dont see what I'd get out of talking to her besides becoming more depressed.

 

[Gambino]

UPDATE:

It's official, it's over (big suprise, huh?)

I talked to her last night on aol and on the phone, and I found out she was lying to me about some things. Yes, she does like another guy right now, but that's not the reason she doesn't want to hang out with me (not what she told me before).
Last night she said that:

1) I did screw up the time I hung out with her, and she probably wouldn't ever want to fool around with me again. She said I complained too much, was an amateur, laid on her too much without letting her lay on me, and it just wasnt much of a turn on experience for her overall.

And she admitted she was making excuses earlier for not hanging out with me, and not talking to me as much. Because she was turned off by what happened the time we hung out last.

2) She said she isnt sure if she wants to screw around anymore, apparently she was screwing around with multiple guys (which she didnt tell me earlier) and she decided it might be doing her more harm than good. But even if she did want to screw around, it probably wouldnt be with me, she said.


But... She still wants to be friends and talk.

I told her I thought it would be better for me if I didnt talk to her for awhile, because I still like her, and it sucks being reminded about her and reminded about how things turned out sour, and that i wont get anything from her.

Then she said, "no dont be ridiculous, we should still talk. If we stop talking for awhile, I probably wont start talking to you again even if you want to later, cuz I'll be out of that mode"


At this moment, I'm trying to decide whether or not this girl was truly being disrespectful with me or not,
and even if she wasnt, whether or not i should still remain friends with her.

Honestly, I think it might be easier on me, if I deleted her from my aol and facebook, that way I wouldnt have to be reminded of this mess.
And it sounds like the odds of her letting me back into her bed are slim. But if she wants to have fun again, she can be the one to contact me, cuz until then, I dont see what I'd get out of talking to her besides becoming more depressed.

bro this is some juvenile shit
middle school level
you're 22, with a degree, you live in a cool state, you're not ugly or deformed.
the world is a lot brighter than you see it.
move on soldier

 

[-SD-]

UPDATE:

It's official, it's over (big suprise, huh?)

I talked to her last night on aol and on the phone, and I found out she was lying to me about some things. Yes, she does like another guy right now, but that's not the reason she doesn't want to hang out with me (not what she told me before).
Last night she said that:

1) I did screw up the time I hung out with her, and she probably wouldn't ever want to fool around with me again. She said I complained too much, was an amateur, laid on her too much without letting her lay on me, and it just wasnt much of a turn on experience for her overall.

And she admitted she was making excuses earlier for not hanging out with me, and not talking to me as much. Because she was turned off by what happened the time we hung out last.

2) She said she isnt sure if she wants to screw around anymore, apparently she was screwing around with multiple guys (which she didnt tell me earlier) and she decided it might be doing her more harm than good. But even if she did want to screw around, it probably wouldnt be with me, she said.


But... She still wants to be friends and talk.

I told her I thought it would be better for me if I didnt talk to her for awhile, because I still like her, and it sucks being reminded about her and reminded about how things turned out sour, and that i wont get anything from her.

Then she said, "no dont be ridiculous, we should still talk. If we stop talking for awhile, I probably wont start talking to you again even if you want to later, cuz I'll be out of that mode"


At this moment, I'm trying to decide whether this girl was truly being disrespectful with me or not,
and even if she wasnt, whether or not i should still remain friends with her.

Honestly, I think it might be easier on me, if I deleted her from my aol and facebook, that way I wouldnt have to be reminded of this mess.
And it sounds like the odds of her letting me back into her bed are slim. But if she wants to have fun again, she can be the one to contact me, cuz until then, I dont see what I'd get out of talking to her besides becoming more depressed.

DO NOT be friends, DO NOT ever contact her again. Cut all losses right now and move on. Believe me, your losses are bigger than Enron in 2002. I know you want feedback and such from us but you should be feeling most embarrased from posting that stuff, please tell me you feel embarrased otherwise you will plod through this whole dating thing without having that reference in your mind to let you know when you arent acting right.
Consider it very rare that you got insight into how the young womans mind works directly from her telling you how you fucked up, because that sort of feedback will rarely come along.

 

[jackangel]

just out of curiosity...

is your room bathed in a sinister, dark red light? do you have stacks and stacks of journals filled with your own writing (with very neat, even precise, tiny penmanship)? how do you feel about the 7 deadly sins?





























detective...

detective...






DETECTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

[healother]

bro this is some juvenile shit
middle school level
you're 22, with a degree, you live in a cool state, you're not ugly or deformed.
the world is a lot brighter than you see it.
move on soldier

i agree.

DO NOT be friends, DO NOT ever contact her again. Cut all losses right now and move on. Believe me, your losses are bigger than Enron in 2002. I know you want feedback and such from us but you should be feeling most embarrased from posting that stuff, please tell me you feel embarrased otherwise you will plod through this whole dating thing without having that reference in your mind to let you know when you arent acting right.
Consider it very rare that you got insight into how the young womans mind works directly from her telling you how you fucked up, because that sort of feedback will rarely come along.

I figured this was the best answer. Yes I do feel embarassed about posting this stuff. I learned a fair amount, and I hope I never repeat some of these mistakes again.

I pushed for some feedback, otherwise I wouldnt have gotten it.