If another couple asked you to have a foursome

[Headholio]

IMO a 3some doesn't cause insecurity that doesn't exist already, it only points it out and allows someone an outlet to blame their existing feelings on.

So if I'm secure and well adjusted, it shouldn't bother me to watch another dude pork my wife?

 

[AFeedz]

I agree with you Annie but I think you would be an exception to the rule. Most people don't have the insight or the wisdom and they jump in too quickly. Can it work? Absolutely. But I think you would be the ideal and not the norm.

I totally agree. I know it's not the norm.

I'm betting it fails because most people can't be honest with themselves more so than they can't be honest with their partner. They're not *trying* to falsify how they feel, but they can't admit than in real application, they may not like or want it. Which is fine, but by the time they go through with it, it's too late and they maybe resent the other person for something that's not their fault.

 

[WoodyO]

So if I'm secure and well adjusted, it shouldn't bother me to watch another dude pork my wife?

Nice. I was planning a trip to Colorado soon anyways.

 

[AFeedz]

So if I'm secure and well adjusted, it shouldn't bother me to watch another dude pork my wife?

I can't speak to that because I'm not talking about that type of situation. I'm not comfortable banging another guy, and I don't think he's comfortable with it either.

I'm solely speaking about my experience, which involves me, and my man, and another girl we both want.

 

[Headholio]

Nice. I was planning a trip to Colorado soon anyways.

LOL I think you misunderstood

 

[caligirl85]

I totally agree. I know it's not the norm.

I'm betting it fails because most people can't be honest with themselves more so than they can't be honest with their partner. They're not *trying* to falsify how they feel, but they can't admit than in real application, they may not like or want it. Which is fine, but by the time they go through with it, it's too late and they maybe resent the other person for something that's not their fault.

That's a really good summary. That is when it became a bad experience for me. When I stopped being honest with myself! Which then breeds resentment, magnifies any insecurities, creates a few new ones and so on.

 

[cindylou]

what the fu

what is happening in here?

why am I sad/turned on

Im so confused

 

[billfred]

what the fu

what is happening in here?

why am I sad/turned on

Im so confused

had to be the post where I mentioned you

 

[caligirl85]

Since I'm already talking way out of my comfort zone....when I started experimenting with this kind of stuff, I was at a time in my life where I had that "life is too short" motto and went out and crossed a few things off the fantasy list. I did it with someone I cared greatly about and it caused many issues. Ultimately ended our relationship. He is still in the lifestyle. I don't have many regrets in life but I do regret most of these experiences and wish I never had them. I NEVER thought I'd be someone to say that either. I'm a risk taker by nature and usually live in the moment. It changes you and it's one of those things I almost never talk about because it changes how people see you, too. Especially in the dating world. If a guy knows you have this in your background.....

And again....I'm talking about the specific swingers lifestyle...the clubs, the parties....that is very different than a private experience.

 

[mistaballoonhands]

Did none of you listen to Loveline in the 90s???