I am SO Tired of fucking my Loved one

[TC2]

TC, YOU are the bigoted one who says "White woman = Lazy fucking useless Bitch," not me. I'm not bigoted. What I've been pointing out is that what's being posted sounds like symptoms of something else overall being entirely fucked up.

There is NEVER one "All Right" and one "All Wrong" in this shit, ever, and I don't care whose fucked up relationship we're talking about. My first marriage was about as dysfunction as they come and even my ex, rotten SOB manipulative pathological liar child abuser that he was, wasn't ENTIRELY at fault in the situation.

If a relationship is fucked up, both parties have problems to face up to, that's the long and short of it. It's got nothing to do with white/black, there is no innocense and guilt here. If you're insistent on laying blame, laying it to the fact they married too g'damned young.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam's_Razor

My point is that every single time something like this comes up women are always quick to blame something else.

 

[musclemom]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam's_Razor

My point is that every single time something like this comes up women are always quick to blame something else.

I'm not touching this because I COULD point out that if you've had multiple relationships with white women, that soured, and multiple relationships with women of color, that didn't, the one constant in all those cases is not the women, but YOU. But I suppose there's NO possibility that you, the most gracious and fair minded of individuals couldn't possibly treat women differently according to race?

The simplest facts are:

1. .Com and his wife both work, but she's the one whose irritable and tired. No mention of whether her hormones have been checked out since she had the child, and pregnancy CAN create hormone imbalances.

2. Young marriages go sour after the mid 20s because people change.

3. He admits that time is a major issue for both of them, but in the same breath is saying he has time to go to clubs and go to the gym and acts all confused when she gets pissed because he's going out. The first thing I wonder is 1) whose taking care of the house and kid while he's out improving his body and 2) how often is he dumping the household shit on her without thinking about it?

See, what I've noticed about some men is that if they don't SEE the shit actually getting done, they don't think it ever GETS done. Like somehow the clothes get magically washed and folded, dishes get magically washed and put away, floors are cleaned, toilets scrubbed, and all while the lazy ass female sits on her fat ass and watches television.

Remember, every story has two sides. We're hearing one side here, and I've noticed .com gets most enthusiastic when someone strokes him and says "Yeah, man, women suck, you're the wronged one here." For all you know, he's such an asshole that even his own friends don't want to listen to his shit any more and that's why he's coming here, to the anonymous internet, looking for undeserved sympathy.

 

[hardnosepbg]

The truth of the matter is, I'm no where near perfect. I do however, try my best to give to her all I can. But I am simply burning out. Yes, we have both changed a lot over the past 3-4 years. And that may very well be the difference. We just don't share things in common anymore. Except for our son and our house. As far as the gym goes...I get home from work at 6:30-7:00...I take a shower, and spend the next 1-2 hours with my son playing with him until about 8:30 when we both put him to bed and say prayers together as a family. After that I go to the gym from 9:00-11:00pm. This also gives her time to her self. I come home and shower and go to bed. The next morning I get up at 5:30-6:00 am take a bath with my son(2 1/2 years old), which he loves...and then take him to school most mornings. I train Mon Tues Thurs and Fri. On the weekends I spend the weekend with my family, and on fri or sat night I will try to get her to go out with me. But if I dont make the plans, find a babysitter, and handle everything we would not go anywhere. When we are together it just seems to me she is not interested in me at all. In fact she has even told that she is not attracted to me. Wow, is my thoughts...she's the one whose 30 lbs over weight and I still direct my attention and lust towards her. I just wish it went both ways. Also, I cook for myself, do my own laundry, clean my own bathroom, and we share the other cleaning chores. She does nothing to make me feel special to her, and has acknowledged to me that she knows that I do special things for her.(Bubble baths..candle lights...wine...dinners....take her out...flowers...ect on a regular basis) I feel like if I just stopped doing the things I do now...we would totally fall apart fast. Oh, and the sex isn't that great either when we do have it. She has been to the doctor and been diagnosed with a panic and anxiety disorder. I just feel I'm at my ropes end. What's a guy to do?

 

[musclemom]

The truth of the matter is, I'm no where near perfect. I do however, try my best to give to her all I can. But I am simply burning out. Yes, we have both changed a lot over the past 3-4 years. And that may very well be the difference. We just don't share things in common anymore. Except for our son and our house.

[...]

What's a guy to do?

Well, maybe you are one of the good ones, but being a good one doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. I still think something is going on here that maybe you aren't even aware of but be that as it may, it could just be a case of the growing apart. That's why young marriages have such a high failure rate.

What's a guy to do? Easy, have you ever asked her, "Do you still want to be married to me?" seriously. Because from YOUR description it sounds like you're hanging onto something she doesn't want. She seems to be doing every damn thing in her power to give you some sort of message and is just waiting for you to get the hint. Ask her, and really mean it, "What's Wrong?" and if she says, "I don't want to be married anymore," then move on like grownups and be civilized for your child's sake.

You cannot make someone love you, no matter how hard you try. A house and a kid is NOT a good enough reason to stay with someone. Sexless marriages can work, if you at least have some common vision, a partnership, then you could work on things because lust waxes and wanes, but what you're describing is tolerating each other's presence, not a partnership.

 

[Snarling Force]

The truth of the matter is, I'm no where near perfect. I do however, try my best to give to her all I can. But I am simply burning out. Yes, we have both changed a lot over the past 3-4 years. And that may very well be the difference. We just don't share things in common anymore. Except for our son and our house. As far as the gym goes...I get home from work at 6:30-7:00...I take a shower, and spend the next 1-2 hours with my son playing with him until about 8:30 when we both put him to bed and say prayers together as a family. After that I go to the gym from 9:00-11:00pm. This also gives her time to her self. I come home and shower and go to bed. The next morning I get up at 5:30-6:00 am take a bath with my son(2 1/2 years old), which he loves...and then take him to school most mornings. I train Mon Tues Thurs and Fri. On the weekends I spend the weekend with my family, and on fri or sat night I will try to get her to go out with me. But if I dont make the plans, find a babysitter, and handle everything we would not go anywhere. When we are together it just seems to me she is not interested in me at all. In fact she has even told that she is not attracted to me. Wow, is my thoughts...she's the one whose 30 lbs over weight and I still direct my attention and lust towards her. I just wish it went both ways. Also, I cook for myself, do my own laundry, clean my own bathroom, and we share the other cleaning chores. She does nothing to make me feel special to her, and has acknowledged to me that she knows that I do special things for her.(Bubble baths..candle lights...wine...dinners....take her out...flowers...ect on a regular basis) I feel like if I just stopped doing the things I do now...we would totally fall apart fast. Oh, and the sex isn't that great either when we do have it. She has been to the doctor and been diagnosed with a panic and anxiety disorder. I just feel I'm at my ropes end. What's a guy to do?

Damn bro my heart goes out to you. I'm very fortunate to have found the perfect wife and I'm thankful for her everyday when I read about situations like yours. I think its just a case of incompatibility as you 2 have changed into 2 different people. No sense in living your life in misery. You've already tried counseling so at this point, I'd start looking to seperate for good. I think the both of you will be happier from the way things sound. Life is short. Don't waste anymore time on someone that is no longer interested in you.

 

[seaking420]

Listen to MM she know her shit about this. Im in a similar situation except Im the one that is not interested any longer. And its hard as hell to end it, which I havent.....yet. Samething here, a young boy and a house that we got a few years ago, but I just have lost that lust for her and we have both changed over the years.....we are now 31 and been together for 14 years

 

[milo hobgoblin]

and this is why my wife and I are swingers.. works wonders for a bored sex life..

and it makes sex between the two of you so much better.. at least for us.

 

[Muscle Catalyst]

Hey .com started this thread but I Am not the bro above who is having all these problems.

All due respect this is what happens when you get married too young.

Everyone has the same story ............... Marriage is way overrated PERIOD.

.Com

 

[needtogetaas]

Fuck marriage. I'm done forever after this one. And I hope my next girlfriend is bi so she can bring a different girl home once in a while.

If this one ends I am don to. I get ssooooo fucking sickof the bullshit. I love my wife but she dos not love me.

 

[bigmusclehead]

Been with my chick for 12 years and it just isn't the same anymore. Started bodybuilding over 2 years ago and now I look better than ever and she has continued to gain unwanted weight. I try to stay interested in her a.d try to keep things fresh, but she simply isn't interested in me anymore. Which really confuses me because I'm newly 30, and if I go out to a club/bar, I have younger women all over me. All this younger, sexier women giving me attention is very tempting. Don't know how much longer I can fight the good fight.

u only live once bro do what u wanna do.